Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth
by CheerfulChemist
Summary: Happenings at the Twelfth Precinct as told by Mop and Broom, the voyeurs in the Janitor's Closet, first introduced in Moment in Time. These take place after Hollander's Woods & before S8. Tales stand on their own. Some will be funny, some more serious or sexy. M for safety. I don't own Castle characters but Mop & Broom & friends are mine.
1. Chapter 1

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter One

"What is it about humans and their little ones?" Mop moaned.

"Funny you should complain, considering your intense interest in how they're produced," Broom jeered, his handle swaying in self-righteousness.

"It's just that Ryan has been in the break room half the morning regaling anyone who'll listen with stories of Sarah Grace. Espresso says he's exhausted, he's put out three times as much coffee as usual and I've been in there three times already when people have spilled it," Mop complained.

"That is your job," Broom pointed out. "I've had a pretty full morning myself with all the doughnut crumbs. I guess Ryan and Esposito have no case and with Scary Lady at some kind of function at 1PP, there is some slacking off going on."

"That's putting it mildly!" Mop exclaimed.

"So what was Ryan saying about Sarah Grace?" Broom inquired.

"Well you recall all the fuss he made when she started to walk?" Mop asked.

"Not all of it," Broom admitted.

"Well that was nothing compared to this. You remember how Sarah Grace took her first steps while Jenny was out shopping? I don't know why that's such a big deal to human's but you would have thought she got elected president. Anyway, Ryan tried to catch it on his cell phone, but by the time he'd gotten it out of his pocket, Sarah'd sat down on the floor to play with some sort of spinning toy. Apparently, he spent over an hour trying to coax her to walk again so he could get some video for Jenny, but Sarah Grace wouldn't budge.

"Ryan was really upset, afraid that Jenny would be furious that he hadn't caught the moment, but the joke was on him. It turned out that Jenny had the nanny cam on to make sure that Ryan wasn't sneaking snacks to to the baby. So not only were Sarah's first steps recorded, all of Ryan's efforts to repeat them were too. Well the this was even better," Mop declared.

"How?" Broom queried.

"Well Jenny was out again, helping her mother with something, and Esposito came to visit with Ryan. They were watching some sort of sporting event, basketball I think. I guess Esposito must have forgotten the baby was there. Anyway, he didn't watch his mouth and dropped the F-bomb - several times. Apparently Sarah Grace thought it was just the funniest thing she'd ever heard and repeated it.

"Ryan got really frantic and tried to stop her, but the more he tried to stop her, the funnier she thought it was and just repeated it more. Then when Jenny came home, Sarah greeted her with a huge smile and her first word. Ryan and Jenny are still trying to keep Sarah Grace from saying it, especially around Jenny's mother."

"Whoa, Ryan must be furious at Esposito," Broom remarked.

"From what I heard, not as furious as Jenny is. Jenny's banned Esposito from the Ryan's apartment," Mop added, "although I don't know how much that will help. Jenny is supposed to be bringing the baby to the precinct this afternoon to keep Ryan company. Esposito's on shift. He'll have to be here."

"He could come hide with us," Broom suggested.

"Yeah, he raised the temperature in here but good when he used to come in here with that lady doctor," Mop recalled fondly, his tendrils dancing against the floor. "But I haven't seen them do anything in months. He's no fun anymore."

Broom scratched against the floor disgustedly. "That would be all you'd think of. The poor man is lonely. That's probably why he was at the at the Ryan's apartment in the first place. Now it's just going to be worse for him. Hey! What's all the commotion out there?"

"I don't know," Mop replied. "I suppose sooner or later someone will spill something or knock something over and we'll find out. Is that a dog? Ugh! That may be the worst kind of job."

* * *

"So what happened?" Broom asked as Mop was returned to his place.

"Well the dog wasn't the problem the way I thought," Mop reported. "You remember that airhead Kay Cappuccio who was here a few years ago?"

"Yeah," Broom recalled. "She had half the cops in the precinct salivating over her, especially Esposito. I heard from those wipes they keep in the tech room that he was in there with her for hours just looking at pictures of her. I guess they were sort of taken with each other. She's come to visit from time to time. It always causes a stir."

"And at least one spilled drink," Mop added. "Anyway, I got the story from a couple of the hand disinfectant pumps on the desks out there. You know some of those detectives really like to use those after dealing with some of the suspects."

Broom's bristles trembled. "I can understand that."

"Kay was in the precinct this morning reporting a robbery," Mop continued. "Apparently some sort of fancy collar for Lilly, that obnoxious little ball of fur she carries around, was stolen. Kay showed up with Lilly and Royal, the big gold dog - much better behaved than the little one. She decided that as long as she was here, she'd come up to visit Esposito.

"Jenny had Sarah Grace on a blanket on the floor of the lounge playing with some kind of toy. I don't know what it was, but it squeaked. Lilly got away from Kay and grabbed the toy and ran away with it. Sarah Grace started bawling. Royal chased after Lilly and Kay tried to chase after both of them, but she couldn't go very fast with those heels she wears."

"She could get lessons from Kate on that," Broom observed.

"You're right," Mop agreed. "Anyway, someone dropped a soda during the chase. That's why they needed me. From what I was told, Esposito finally grabbed Lilly and got the toy away from her. He almost got bitten for his trouble."

"That must have helped put him back in Jenny's good graces," Broom speculated.

Mop's handle swayed slightly. "Maybe. Jenny was not happy. It took her a while to calm Sarah Grace down and she made Ryan disinfect the toy three times before she'd let Sarah Grace near it again. Then she decided to take the baby home before anything else happened."

"So where were Rick and Kate during all this?" Broom asked. "Kate's supposed to be in charge while Scary Lady is gone, isn't she?"

"She is," Mop confirmed. "She was trying to cope with all those calls from the D.A.'s office Scary Lady is always getting. It didn't look like she was enjoying it. Rick was having a great time, though. He watched the whole chase and took notes. According to the lotion on Kate's desk, he said he was going to mention the chase in an interview he was giving to a magazine - at least until Kate gave him one of those looks." Mop twirled his tendrils in anticipation. "Oooh, maybe they'll come in later. When she gets mad at him, they like to come back here and make up."

A discouraged sigh rustled through Broom's bristles. "And you are ever hopeful of a front row seat."


	2. Chapter 2

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 2

"Where have you been all day?" Broom asked.

"The Ladies Room!" Mop exclaimed, his tendrils fluttering. "There was an overflow this morning and they forgot to put me away. I wish it would happen every morning. That place is amazing! It's where all the women go to talk to each other."

"I'm know I'm going to be sorry I asked," Broom sighed, "but about what?"

"Well some of it is boring," Mop explained, "clothes, shoes, makeup, childcare, but a lot of it is about men."

"Oh no," Broom moaned.

"Oh yes," Mop continued excitedly, "like first Tory came in, you know that beautiful tech?"

"Yeah," Broom acknowledged.

"Well she was talking to Roslyn, you know, the one the detectives call Karpowski. Tory was telling her she was on a date last night and it didn't go well."

"I don't think I want to hear this," Broom protested.

Mop swished against the floor. "I know you too well to believe that. Of course you do! So anyway, Tory met a guy named Grady at some seminar. I think she said it was on encryption, whatever that means. She said he was cute, in a nerdy sort of way. I think she actually liked the nerdiness. Anyway, he invited her to go with him to a concert in Central Park last night. She said it was a really cheap date, but she didn't mind that part."

"So what was the problem?" Broom inquired.

"Well first he wouldn't stop talking about Terra Quest and she couldn't hear the music," Mop related.

"Maybe Grady should have gone on the date with Rick," Broom quipped. "He loves Terra Quest."

Mop's handle swayed in amusement. "Yeah, well I think Kate might have something to say about that, though Rick's out of town. Anyway, Tory said it got worse from there. Once he stopped talking about video games, he couldn't keep his hands, or his mouth off her. Finally he was trying to unbutton her blouse and wouldn't take no for an answer. She wasn't about to put up with that, so she dislocated his thumb and got up and left. She said she took the subway home and nuked a frozen dinner for her big night. He claimed he was going to sue and she said she was swearing off dating.

"That's a shame," Broom commented.

"Certainly a shame for some of the guys around here," Mop agreed. "They're always talking about how hot she is."

"So then what happened?" Broom questioned.

"Scary Lady came in after that," Mop continued. "She was on her cell phone. I think she was talking to her sister. Actually more screeching than talking."

"That's unusual," Broom mused, "at least unless she's screeching at Rick. She seems to do that quite a bit. What happened?"

"I don't think anything happened," Mop answered thoughtfully. "She didn't seem to be feeling well. She said something about being hot and dry. Then there was something I didn't understand. I think she said 'men or pause.'"

"I think that was menopause," Broom corrected. "I've heard about it before. It's when the human women can't have little ones anymore. I heard some of the older detectives talking. They seemed to think it made their wives crazy, at least that's what they said when they were using it as an excuse to go out drinking instead of going home."

"That sounds like it," Mop agreed. "Scary Lady did say something about a doctor's appointment for tests. I think she's hoping she doesn't have it. Anyway when she was in the room, the other women left as soon as they could, even Kate, but she came back after Scary Lady was gone."

"What's the deal with Rick being out of town?" Broom asked. "How did you hear that?"

"Oh, when Kate came back, Lady Doctor was with her," Mop replied, "they were talking about it."

"Don't they usually talk down in the morgue?" Broom wondered.

"Yeah," Mop confirmed. "That's what Lady Doctor said. But she came up here because Kate doesn't have a dead body and has no excuse to be down there. With Scary Lady being in the mood she's in, she's on the backs of her detectives even more than usual. Kate has to stay in the precinct. She said _Driving Heat,_ Rick's new book _,_ is due out in September and Rick has to do a bunch of interviews for what Kate called pre-release. Considering all they've been through the last few months, I don't know when he had time to write a book, but obviously he did. She seemed pretty upset that Rick is away."

"Yeah, I bet you are too," Broom sniped, "it cuts into your peep show time. But why was Kate so upset? He has to travel all the time. She doesn't usually make a big deal about it."

"Lady Doctor didn't seem to think that was what was really bothering her," Mop explained, "and Kate admitted she might have been right. Kate's being invited to a bunch of political functions, something to do with making up her mind about a run for something. She didn't go into details. Kate has a couple of them this week and she wanted Rick to be with her and he can't. She was wondering if that's what their future might be like if she does whatever the run thing is. Then she and Lady Doctor started talking about babies. She was talking about that cop from Hong Kong, Zhang, who tried to do the 'have-it-all' thing with kids and high powered career and couldn't make it work. Kate was wondering if she could. She also said after Rick's trip to London with Alexis, she gets more nervous when he's on a plane without her. She started to cry a little bit."

"So what did Lady Doctor say?" Broom asked.

"She reminded Kate that a plane is a lot safer than a car in New York traffic, but Kate didn't even smile at that. Then she just hugged Kate and told her she'd have to figure out what was most important to her and go with it. Honestly I don't think it helped much," Mop opined.

"So then what happened?" Broom prompted.

"After Lady Doctor left, Kate called Rick. She stayed in the Ladies Room. I guess she didn't want to do it from the bullpen. She hates to have the other detectives see her down. She told him that she missed him and wondered if he could change his schedule and come home. She wasn't crying anymore, but she was still sniffling a little."

"What did he say?" Broom pressed.

Mop swayed a little against the wall. "I don't know. I could only hear what Kate said. She told him she loved him and she seemed a lot happier afterward. She was smiling when she left the room."

Broom's bristles flipped upwards. "That's good. I hope he'll be back soon."

"Yeah," Mop replied, staring at the door in lascivious anticipation, "so do I."


	3. Chapter 3

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 3

A hand leaned Mop against a high table in the break room with Broom. Did I miss anything?" he asked anxiously.

Lot's of crumbs," Broom answered, slightly annoyed. "Officer Harrison had a birthday and they bought her a cake - and that sticky red punch. That's what they needed you for."

"Oh, come on," Mop cajoled. "There must have been something better than that."

"Well I did get the rest of the story about Tory and Grady," Broom admitted.

"Yeah?" Mop prompted, his tendrils fluttering.

"Grady came to the precinct," Broom told him grudgingly. "He had some papers. He said he was following through on his suit against Tory unless she apologized. From what I heard he got really obnoxious."

"Well did she apologize?" Mop pressed.

"I guess she was going to," Broom replied, "but Esposito showed up. He pulled Grady out of Tory's face and threatened to charge him with assault unless he left immediately and never came near Tory again. I think he would have done it, too, but Grady took off."

"Tory must have been relieved," Mop ventured.

The loop on Broom's handle clicked. "Right up until Esposito asked her out. From what I heard she really didn't want to go, but she didn't want to hurt his feeling either. He wanted to take her to a restaurant and she suggested meeting for drinks at the Old Haunt. He settled for that."

"I suppose for Esposito that was better than nothing," Mop mused. "But speaking of the Old Haunt, is Rick back yet?"

"Oh yeah," Broom reported. "He was in here for cake. Never known him to miss one. He looked a little tired. He and Kate were talking about some political soirée last night so I guess he flew back to be with her."

"Good," Mop acknowledged, his tendrils twining, "maybe they'll... what was that guy yelling in the bullpen?"

Broom vibrated against the floor, his bristles scratching. "He said he has a bomb."

"You're lined up with the door. Can you see what's happening?" Mop asked, his tendrils trembling."

"There's a guy there standing in the middle of the desks," Broom reported. "He's holding something in his hand with a button. All the cops have their guns drawn and pointed at him, but they're not moving."

"What does he want?" Mop exclaimed, his tendrils flying madly.

"He says they have his brother in custody and they have to let him go. Oh! Scary Lady is coming out of her office. She has her hands up. She told the cops to lower their guns. She asked the bomb guy for permission to call someone about his brother."

"What did he say?" Mop demanded.

"He just nodded. She's making a call. Sounds like she's asking for what he wants. She said she's calling the D.A.. He's relaxing a little. Oh no!" Broom's bristles scratched desperately against the floor.

Mop swayed wildly. "What?"

"She just said the words 'bug out.' The bomb guy shouted at her that he knew it was the code for evacuation and that she wasn't calling the D.A.. He got really mad. He ordered all the cops to throw their guns on the floor in front of him and then sit on the floor themselves. Looks like they're doing it. Oh!" Broom slipped against the chair.

Mop's loop started to click. "What?

"The bomber grabbed one of the guns, then he went over to Rick and asked where his was."

"Rick doesn't have a gun," Mop fretted. "They won't let him carry one. He's always complaining about it."

"I know," Broom agreed, "Looks like Rick's trying to explain that, but the bomber doesn't believe him."

"Was that Kate?" Mop worried.

"Yeah," Broom confirmed. "The bomber just hit Rick with his gun and she screamed a little before she could cover her mouth. Rick's lying on the floor. His head is bleeding, and his eyes are closed. The bomber is searching him. I guess he's looking for a gun."

"Well he's not going to find one," Mop declared.

"Thank you Captain Obvious," Broom responded. "It looks like he's come to that conclusion. Kate is asking if she can help Rick."

Mop tilted forward. "Is he letting her?"

Broom swayed negatively. "No. He told her not to move. He ordered Scary Lady to make a call, the right one this time. She's talking. Okay, she told the bomber it's going to take some time. They can't just release someone. He didn't like it. He told her if she couldn't tell him his brother was being released in twenty minutes, he'd do more with the gun than hitting someone."

"It sounds quiet. Now what's happening?" Mop queried urgently.

"They're just sitting there, but the bomber made Scary Lady set a countdown on her phone. If she doesn't get a call before it goes off, I think he's going to shoot someone," Broom replied nervously.

Mop rocked perilously. "What about those ESU units Esposito is always talking about? Shouldn't they be able to get a team in here, a sniper, something? They can't just let him shoot someone!"

"How would I know!" Broom retorted in frustration.

"Well how does Rick look? You know that." Mop rejoined angrily.

Broom shifted against the chair. "I can't tell. He's still lying there and he's still bleeding. The bomber isn't paying any attention to him. Wait a minute, he's moving a little and I think I saw his eyes open for a second. Yeah, they opened again and he looked at Kate."

"Did she look back?" Mop asked nervously.

"Yeah, she did. She pointed to her ankle. Now Rick's moving again. I don't think the bomber is noticing. He's looking at Scary Lady, pointing to her phone." Broom's handle scraped against the edge of the chair. "Rick grabbed a gun out of the holster on Kate's ankle. He called to the bomber and he turned around, Rick shot at him. Shot the gun out of his hand and Kate jumped him, getting that thing with the button away. Then Esposito got into it, put his knee in the guy's back and cuffed him."

Mop's tendrils spreadeagled on the floor. "Thank the Master Cleaner! Are Rick and Kate okay?"

"Looks like it," Broom observed thankfully. "Kate's sitting on the floor again. She has Rick's head in her lap. Ryan went to get a bandage or something. Kate is congratulating Rick on his shooting." Broom's loop jingled. "Hah!"

"What?"

"I don't know what Rick was talking about, but he said it was déjà vu, he was aiming for the guy's head."

"What did Kate say to that?" Mop wondered.

"Well too bad you couldn't see," Broom gloated. "She just bent over and kissed him."

A/N Okay, you Browncoats, we know it was said in Firefly first, then Rick said it in _Boom_. Consider it a double homage.


	4. Chapter 4

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 4

"So what did the orange cones tell you?" Broom asked.

"It was all about what happened in the parking lot yesterday," Mop related. "Remember when Rick brought in the hoverboard?"

"Of course!" Broom exclaimed. "I though Scary Lady was going to ban him again. She was really angry. I think they could hear her down in robbery. She didn't ban Rick but she did ban hoverboards."

"She banned them from the building," Mop corrected, "but the parking lot isn't in the building. Rick set up a course out there. He grabbed every cone he could find including the ones the janitor usually uses when I leave things wet. Then he got a board for Esposito and one for Ryan. J.T. was in on it too but he brought his own."

"It hardly seems fair," Broom remarked. "Rick already knew how to ride one and I would imagine J.T. did too. Ryan and Esposito would have been just starting out."

"I think Rick must have agreed with you." Mop surmised, "because he gave them time to practice."

"I bet Esposito was good," Broom ventured.

"You would think so wouldn't you?" Mop replied, tendrils twirling. "He's always bragging about what a great athlete he is."

"Yeah, he gets a little mean sometimes, throwing balls at Rick when he knows Rick can't catch one," Broom agreed. "So how did he do?"

"Not so great, from what the cones told me," Mop related. "He was really intense about it."

"He's really intense about everything," Broom commented.

Mop swayed nostalgically. "Yeah even what he used to do in here. I wish he'd find himself someone again."

Broom scratched impatiently. "You're getting off the story. What did he do with the hoverboard?"

"He was a little too intense," Mop continued. "He wanted to go too fast, turn too hard. It wasn't working for him."

"So what about Ryan?" Broom inquired. "He can be a bit of a klutz."

Mop clicked his loop. "Not really. I've heard some moaning from some of the guys who've lost money to him that he's really good at pool, darts too. I think he takes the time to figure all the angles. Anyway, they said he started slowly, but after a while got his bearings better than Esposito did. Finally he said he was ready to do the course and Esposito had to jump in and say he was ready too."

"So did they race against each other?" Broom queried.

"No," Mop responded. "Even with all the cones Rick gathered up he could only do a course for one at a time. He had to get someone to time it."

"Couldn't Kate do that?" Broom asked.

"No," Mop replied again. "She thought whole thing was pretty silly, or at least that's what she said. The cones said she was smiling at Rick anyway. Then she said it wouldn't look right if she was timekeeper because she and Rick are married."

"Why would it have to look right?" Broom wondered.

"Oh didn't I tell you?" Mop asked. "No I guess I didn't," he continued, answering his own question. "There was betting going on. Quite a lot of it, and I think most of the cops put their money on Rick."

"So what happened, already?" Broom demanded. "Did Rick win?"

"No he didn't," Mop reported gleefully. "It looked like he was going to, but then Kate had her arms up cheering for him and her blouse came open. He fell off his board and Ryan won. L.T. came in second."

"There must have been a lot of cops mad at Rick, if they lost there money on him," Broom offered.

Mop's tendrils swished. "No, I think they were mad at Kate for making him lose. But the guy who was really mad was Esposito. A lot of the women came out to watch, including Tory, and I think he was embarrassed."

"So what was the prize, besides whatever people won on bets?" Broom asked.

"Rick gave Ryan a thing for free drinks at the Old Haunt. There was a trophy too. The cones said Rick had a hard time letting that go of it. I guess he really expected to win it. But Kate gave him a cuddle after he handed it to Ryan. That made him feel better - for about five seconds."

Broom swayed forward on the tips of his straws. "Why? What happened?"

Mop's handle scraped roughly against the wall. "A guy they called Captain Donovan showed up. Cones didn't know who he was, but they said all the cops were scared of him, way more than they are of Scary Lady. I don't know why.

"Oh I do. He was here before," Broom recalled. "I was there when he went after Rick in the break room, because Donovan thought Kate had killed someone and she was gone. Donovan thought Rick knew where she was."

"Did he?" Mop asked, rising on his tendrils.

"I don't know," Broom replied. "He told Donovan's people he couldn't help them. I remember things got very grim around here for a while when everyone was hunting for Kate. No one liked Donovan. They said he was I.A., whatever that is. I guess Scary Lady used to be too. So what happened when he showed up at the race?"

Cones said he told everyone they would be written up for gambling on the job, but then he couldn't find any paper the bets were written on and all the cops said they didn't know anything about it. So he had to let it go. He wasn't happy."

"Yeah, he's mean," Broom agreed.

"Anyway," Mop went on, "He made Rick take down the course and put all the cones back where they belonged, so I don't know anything else. Oooh, do I hear Rick and Kate coming this way?"

Broom straightened on his bristles. "I think you do. You think she's mad at him?"

Mop fluttered his tendrils. "I hope not."

* * *

"That was nice," Broom said as the door closed after Rick and Kate. "That she could give him a cookie trophy like that for courage in the face of Captain Donovan."

"Didn't make a whole lot of sense to me," Mop puzzled. "He didn't have to be brave after the race. He's not actually on the N.Y.P.D., Donovan can't write him up for anything."

"Wow, you really are clueless sometimes," Broom chided. "The race was just a reminder. Donovan tried to arrest Rick, to send him to jail for standing up for Kate; for helping her clear herself. He didn't knuckle under. That's what the trophy was for."

Mop's loop swung on its hook. "Oh, I get it now. That was sweet of her. I guess trophies are nice. Humans seem to like them. And I know Rick loves cookies. Vacuum has picked up enough crumbs by his chair at Kate's desk. But what came next was really hot. I've never seen two people's lips meet from opposite sides of a cookie before. That's what I liked best."

Broom's straws rubbed against the floor in a sigh. "Of course. You would."


	5. Chapter 5

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 5

"Your tendrils are drooping a bit," Broom noted as Mop was returned to the Janitor's Closet.

"Yeah, well it was a long night," Mop explained. "There was a poker game in the conference room and after they had to come get me a couple of times for spilled drinks, they just left me in the corner in case they needed me."

Scary Lady allowed an all night poker game?" Broom asked incredulously.

"She didn't allow it, I don't think she knew about it. Rick made arrangements for some of his writer poker friends to come observe a night shift at the precinct. From what I heard," Mop related, "she didn't like the idea, but the mayor leaned on her, saying it would be good P.R.. Then she had to go to some family thing. I guess her mother-in-law was involved. That's usually what really puts her on edge and from what I heard from the wastebasket that's against the wall near her office, she really was. Anyway, she was gone."

"So if the writers were here to observe, how did that turn into a poker game?" Broom queried.

"It sounded like they just picked the wrong night to observe. There was no new body. The detectives in the bullpen were making phone calls or doing computer work to trace down leads on their outstanding cases. Some of them weren't even doing that. They were just catching up on paperwork. Rick's buddies were bored, so he started a poker game. Kate joined in too," Mop added.

Broom rustled in surprise. "I'm surprised she'd do that on duty."

"Well I guess she didn't join in until she was officially off shift. She was just on call. So she and Rick were there and that older detective who's losing his hair, I think his name is Bruce. Rick dug some scotch out from somewhere. Kate wasn't drinking because she was on call, but Rick, Bruce, and of course the writers were. They were having a great time. Rick and Kate were both doing really well and that young writer who used to make goo-goo eyes at Kate, Alex Conrad, he was doing okay too." Mop swished a bit. "Alex was seated the farthest away from Kate. My guess is that Rick preferred it that way."

"Yeah, he still does get jealous sometimes doesn't he?" Broom agreed. "Not that Kate doesn't. When they had that cop up here from Vice, what was her name, Monique? She was dressed like one of the ladies they usually arrest and Rick did sneak a look at her now and then. He told Kate he was going to write a character like Monique into one of his books and he was just making notes."

Mop rattled his loop. "Did Kate buy that?"

"I don't think so," Broom recalled. "A couple of days later I was sweeping up petals from a big bunch of roses on Kate's desk. I think Rick sent them to apologize. But anyway, was Alex behaving himself last night?"

"As much as I could see, but early in the morning it didn't matter anymore. Kate got called to a murder and Esposito went with her," Mop reported. "Rick stayed to host his game."

"Where was Ryan?" Broom inquired.

"Ryan went on some kind of a job. I think Esposito said it was security for some politician named Lopez. But when Kate left, Bruce said he'd had enough for the evening, so Rick suggested making things more fun with his writer buddies."

"What kind of fun?" Broom asked, "a drinking game?"

Mop clacked against the wall. "They were already drinking. That's why I was there. I was beginning to wonder if I'd have a clean-up in the men's room. But no, Rick proposed a writer thing. He wanted them all to write a story together and whoever won a hand, besides getting the money, would get to manage part of the story. He was talking about things like themes and inciting incidents. I didn't really understand what he was saying, but his buddies did. He was also talking about naming characters, like he calls the character that's really Kate, Nikki Heat."

"So did they go along with that?" Broom wondered. "Sounds like a lot of trouble during a card game."

"Seemed like they liked the idea," Mop related. "Rick got to come up with a title. If I remember, it was _The Extermination of Louie the Louse_. Then Alex won the next hand and he said that Louie was murdered with bug spray. The other writers started throwing peanuts at him for that, accusing him of having no imagination."

"That sounds like it's going to be a job for me," Broom surmised.

"I think you're right about that," Mop agreed, but they didn't pay much attention to the mess they were making and Alex ate the peanuts that fell on the table. So then, Rick won the next hand and he said Louie was an undercover gangs agent in the Westies, although he said they'd have to change the name because the Westies are Irish and Louie wouldn't fit, so he called them Archies, short for Monarchists. I have no idea what he meant by that."

"I don't either," Broom admitted. "Then what?"

"This guy Dennis, he's kind of snarky and he has a beard, he suggested that Louis be found in an alley full of garbage, with flies buzzing around, but none of them would go near the body, because of the bug spray. Maybe it was all the booze or maybe they just thought it was funny, but all the guys started laughing really loud especially Rick, until Scary Lady came barging in."

"Why was she there?" Broom puzzled.

"She said something about whipping things into shape before she gave her mother-in-law a tour later, and she was really annoyed, especially with Rick."

"Nothing unusual about that," Broom quipped.

"That's true," Mop agreed. "Anyway, she said the game was over and asked the writers to leave. She made Rick use me and put me away. I don't think she saw the peanuts under the table or you would have been out there too."

"So was Rick going to leave then?" Broom asked.

"I don't think so. I think he wanted to wait for Kate to get back," Mop speculated. "Wow, I think she must be. That sounds like they're coming now. I can understand why Rick would want a place to hide."

* * *

"Now that was just plain strange," Broom declared.

"You mean Kate telling Rick there were no flies on the guy's body and Rick suggesting he'd been killed by bug spray?" Mop queried.

Broom swayed on his straws. "Yeah, that was odd, but the really strange thing was Kate saying that the dead guy's name was Louie."

"That was weird, but then they do love the weird stuff. Too bad they didn't get more of chance to show it before Scary Lady called for Kate. But," he mused hopefully, his tendrils twining about his head, "there's always later."

Bristles twitching, Broom just settled against the wall.

A/N Two points Fillionaires or Whedonversers, if you know who does the weird stuff.


	6. Chapter 6

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 6

"Have you been talking to Espresso?" Mop asked hopefully as Broom was returned from a stint in the break room.

"Yeah, of course," Broom confirmed. "You know that guy. He never stops letting off steam. What about him?"

"Not about Espresso," Mop replied impatiently, "about what he knows about the girl wandering around the precinct."

Broom swayed forward on his bristles. "Oh, you mean Elsa, the commissioner's daughter."

Mop's tendrils splayed. "Yes, that's who I mean. So what did Espresso know about her?"

"Well I don't know if he got this right, but he heard it repeated a lot of times because she was hanging out in the break room," Broom related. "He said she's getting a masters, whatever that is, in criminal justice and she is doing her thesis, some kind of paper, on the Twelfth Precinct."

"Well we are the most interesting precinct in the city," Mop preened.

"Well I don't know about that," Broom said, his bristles scratching doubtfully, "but the reason Espresso heard, was that we have the highest clearance rate. Espresso thought that meant solving the most cases. So Elsa is handing out a bunch of papers for people to write on and talking to a lot of people. She's mostly doing it in the break room up here. Espresso says it's because of him, but of course he would."

"He could be right," Mop suggested. "It's the only break room with an Espresso. I heard Rick bought it. Anyway cops from other departments are always finding an excuse to come up here and use it. I heard there was a guy named Demming who came up here every day for months."

Broom clacked his loop in amusement. "I'd think you, of all cleaning equipment, would have dug up the real reason for that. From what I heard, that was before Rick and Kate were together - or at least before they knew they were together. Demming didn't come for the coffee, he came to see Kate. But of course Espresso wouldn't think of that. He bubbles over about himself - constantly."

"True enough, Mop agreed, "but we're getting off the subject. What about Elsa? Who did she talk to and what did she hear?"

"Well she talked to the uniformed officers first, from what Espresso said. He thought L.T. was first, although he had no idea who she might have talked to downstairs. So anyway, she said she was talking to L.T. because he was present at a lot of crime scenes and had a good chance to see what the detectives did. Of course," Broom added, "Espresso didn't know anything about that. He has no idea what happens outside the building."

"And you do?" Mop taunted. "When were you ever outside or even on another floor?"

Broom drew himself up on the tips of his bristles. "Well I hear things. And I do get out. Sometimes they grab me to sweep up cigarette butts. You know some of the cops still go outside to smoke. I heard Scary Lady was even out there once after a visit from her sister." His bristles quivered. "Dirty habit."

"Yeah well if it wasn't for dirt, we wouldn't have a job," Mop pointed out. "But speaking of dirt, what did L.T. say?"

"He was complaining about contamination, Espresso thought that was the word, of crime scenes. He's supposed to keep people from coming in and messing things up. He was talking about people forgetting to wear gloves and he was especially upset that they kept trying to bring in coffee. Apparently Rick is the worst offender," Broom noted.

"Espresso couldn't have liked L.T. talking about coffee like that," Mop commented.

"No, he didn't," Broom agreed. "Especially since both L.T. and Elsa were drinking some while they talked. But I think he liked what Officer Harrison said, better. She was talking about camaraderie, she seemed to think Rick buying Espresso helped with that. She also said the precinct is more fun because Rick is around."

Mop's tendrils twirled up around his handle. "I'd second that."

"I don't think that's the kind of fun she meant," Broom huffed, "but considering where your mind is going, Elsa did spend quite a while talking to Kate. She started out saying it was because Kate has the highest clearance rate, but Espresso thought she was even more interested in Kate's partnership with Rick. No, not that kind of partnership," Broom clarified disgustedly as Mop swished. "She asked Kate to tell her about it from the beginning, from Rick's first case with her."

"Kate must have enjoyed that," Mop assumed.

Broom scratched against the floor. "Espresso didn't think so. He said she sounded a little bit embarrassed. Kate and Montgomery had a man, I think she said he was PDD, some kind of handicap that kept him from thinking straight, for the murder. Rick didn't think he did it and made Kate look for the real murderer. She was upset that a writer could be better at solving a murder than a cop, especially her. I guess she also thought Rick was a man acting like a spoiled child."

"He certainly can act like a kid," Mop offered, "but I think Kate likes that about him."

"Well maybe she didn't then. She said she started to change her mind when Alexis came to the precinct and he started acting like a father. Kate was surprised and she confessed to Elsa that she was kind of turned on. Yeah, I knew you'd love that," Broom added as Mop banged against the wall. "So she told Elsa about the cases they've solved over the years and how Rick is helpful because he doesn't look at things like a cop. Elsa asked about 3XK and the Porcelain Mask Killer, and Kate explained how she and Rick had worked together in those. Then, of course, Elsa wanted to talk to Rick."

"Well I'm sure he wanted to talk to her too," Mop ventured. "He does seem to love regaling people with his police adventures.

"Yeah," Broom agreed, "usually. Strange as that might be, I agree with you, but Espresso said he wasn't like that, especially about those two killers. He didn't brag at all. He seemed ashamed and sad that it had taken so many years to take them down and that so many had people had died because he wasn't able to catch them sooner. Espresso thought Elsa was as surprised as you are. She'd seen him interviewed on TV and he was very different when she talked to him herself. She called her father on the phone afterward and told him that she was thinking of changing her thesis from talking about the Twelfth to talking about the unique partnership between Rick and Kate. Espresso couldn't hear what her father said, but thought he sounded loud and not too happy. Elsa left after that."

"So is that it?" Mop asked. "What about Rick and Kate? What did they think about it?"

"We might find out," Broom noted. "Isn't that them coming back here now?"

* * *

"Well that was a switch!" Mop declared after Kate and Rick left. "Usually Kate is the one who doesn't want to talk about things, but she had to talk Rick into helping Elsa with more interviews, especially about the Porcelain Mask Killer."

"Yeah, he really didn't want to do it," Broom agreed. "I think he just said he would to help Kate in case she decides to be a captain. It will help to have the commissioner on her side."

"He did say he would, and they didn't kiss or anything," Mop complained, "they just hugged each other for a while before they left. I will never figure out humans!"

Broom leaned his handle against the wall. "If that's all you care about, I'm sure you won't."

A/N The answer to yesterday's question is: Fans 1,2, &3 in response to Captain Hammer's musings about a second go-round with Penny, in Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog


	7. Chapter 7

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 7

"What was Rick setting up in the break room?" Mop asked as Broom was returned to his place.

"He called it an electric griddle," Broom answered. "Pretty talkative guy, although he just calls himself Grid. He told me he was there for a pancake making contest."

"Scary Lady allowed that?" Mop asked incredulously.

"Yeah, but she wasn't so happy that I was needed," Broom confessed. "Someone got flour and sugar on the floor. You know how hard they are to get up? I had to get help from vacuum. Anyway, she didn't like that, but I heard her talking to Rick. It's a contest to raise money for the family of a cop who was hurt. Contestants will be making their favorite pancakes and they have to tell a story about where the pancakes came from."

"How do they make money from that?" Mop queried.

"The pancake makers pay to enter and everyone who eats the pancakes pay for them. Rick thought that they'd end up serving the whole precinct. Rick is making those fancy coffees with the pictures on top too. He's selling those with the pancakes." Broom explained. "Oops, here we go again, they're grumbling about batter on the floor. Looks like it might be your turn."

* * *

"Well you were out almost all day!" Broom exclaimed. "What happened?"

Mop swayed on the tips of his head. "A lot! Lots of pancakes and better yet lots of people telling stories."

"Like who?" Broom questioned.

"Well Ryan was the first one," Mop began. "He was talking about Jenny being really tired in the morning from being up all night with Sarah Grace when she was teething."

"What's that?" Broom asked.

Mop clicked his loop. "I don't know, but from the sound of it, it's painful. Jenny was trying to help Sarah feel better, so Ryan wanted to make Jenny feel better. Jenny loves chocolate."

"I remember that," Broom interrupted. "I had to sweep up chocolate doughnut crumbs after one of her little talks with Ryan."

Mop fluttered in annoyance. "Well continuing, Ryan decided to make chocolate pancakes and he put cocoa in the batter. But he forgot that cocoa by itself is bitter and didn't add enough sugar. I guess Jenny thought that Ryan was sweet, but the pancakes definitely weren't. The next time around Ryan fixed the recipe and those were the pancakes he made today. Some people seemed to like them although Rick was mumbling about needing whipped cream."

"So who else made some?" Broom questioned.

"Well first Ryan gave it a second shot with a recipe from Jenny's grandmother. It wasn't much of a story, just that Jenny got the recipe in a book of recipes her grandmother made for her when she got married."

"I think that's kind of sweet," Broom commented.

"I suppose," Mop agreed. "They had potatoes in them and then that Detective Goldstein said he could go Ryan one better with a recipe from his own grandmother for potato pancakes he called latkes. Those were different. They made the break room smell like onions. Goldstein told about celebrating a holiday called Hanukkah and taking all the other kids in his family for there holiday money with a game he called dreidel. Rick told him he should put his own money where his mouth was and come to his next poker game, but Goldstein laughed and said he knew better than that and that he'd stick to dreidel.

"Then Karpowski got into it. She made something she called Naleśniki. They had cheese in them. She said she picked up the recipe from her great aunt when she visited her in Cleveland."

"Is that in another country?" Broom inquired.

Mop's tendrils twirled. "No, it's in Ohio. Actually Karpowski's story was about visiting the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame there with her aunt and uncle. She didn't expect them to do much, but there was a band playing and she said the old folks really got down. She didn't know whether to be amused or embarrassed. The rest of the detectives seemed to think that was funny. They liked the pancakes too.

"Then it got a little strange. Detective Park made Kimchi Pancakes. He said he picked up the recipe when he visited a friend in California. He said she's comedian. He even did a couple of jokes from her routine, mostly imitations of her mother. I didn't really understand, but some of the detectives thought they were funny. Anyway her mother came over while he was in California and made the pancakes and he asked for the recipe. When the other detectives tried them, some of them started coughing and it looked like they were crying. Rick's special coffees didn't help much. Detective Patel said he didn't think they were all that spicy and didn't understand the problem and Detective Esposito called the other detectives a bunch of wimps. In between coughs, they told him to wait until it was his turn."

Broom drew up on his bristles. "Did he take a turn?"

"Oh he did," Mop assured him. "He actually kind of swaggered while he was making his pancakes. He said that they were the pancakes he makes to thank a woman for a great night. I think maybe he was so busy bragging he mixed up his ingredients. From the look on the other cops' faces, they were terrible. Some of them started gagging. Ryan teased Esposito that this was why he could never get a second date. Esposito got really mad and left. He slammed the door so hard that Knob got rattled.

"So Kate was up next. She made her mother's recipe. She put strawberries on the pancakes. She said her mother always set aside time for Sunday Brunch and she and her mother and father all ate together, then they'd go for a walk. Her eyes were a little wet when she said it and Rick put his arms around her and gave her a little nibble on her neck while the other cops were eating. That was pretty good."

"Of course you'd make note of that," Broom interjected. "What about Rick? What kind of pancakes did he make?"

"Well he said his actually came from a case, that wacko serial killer who thought Kate was Nikki Heat. That happened before Rick and Kate were together, at least they weren't..."

"Yeah, yeah," Broom put in, "what about the pancakes?"

"Rick said he was sleeping at Kate's apartment to protect her. It looked like Kate was covering up a laugh at that, and some of the other cops, especially the women, laughed out loud. But you know how Rick can plow ahead in a story."

"I do," Broom acknowledged.

"Rick kept right on going," Mop continued. "He said that the eggs in Kate's refrigerator were expired and he had to figure out a recipe that didn't use any. He didn't say exactly how he did that, but it looked like he used a lot of oil. He called them body drop pancakes because he found a dead body in front of Kate's door before they could actually eat any. Some of the cops were hesitant to try those, but the ones that did seemed to like them pretty well. I suppose after the Kimchi, anything was an improvement."

"So who won?" Broom asked.

"Karpowski," Mop replied. "Rick donated a month of free beers at the Old Haunt."

"Was she happy with that?" Broom queried.

"Oh yeah. But," Mop added, "she told Rick he'd have to teach his piano man to play some decent Rock and Roll. Rick just gave her that big grin of his and said he'd get on it."


	8. Chapter 8

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 8

"Were you talking to Rick's chair?" Mop asked.

"No," Broom replied, "the lotion on Kate's desk. Ever since Kate pulled a couple of screws out of the chair, he says he's never been the same. He sort of creaks when he talks so he doesn't talk much."

"I don't remember that. Why'd she do that?" Mop asked.

"It was a long time ago. You had a different head. It was before she really had an excuse to be up against Rick the way she wanted to be, so she teased him and played tricks on him instead," Broom explained. "She was teasing him about having some kind of curse he supposedly got for playing with something he shouldn't have played with. So she pulled out the screws and he fell on his behind."

Mop's tendrils flattened in confusion. "I thought she loved his behind. She plays with it often enough. Why would she want to hurt it?"

"Well that's just it. Back then she couldn't play with it, or at least she didn't. Doesn't make sense to me either," Broom mused. "Humans can be pretty strange."

"You've got that right," Mop agreed, his handle swaying. "What did lotion say is going on?"

"Well you remember when Rick got banned from the precinct?" Broom asked.

Mop fluttered. "Of course. Worst months of my life. Almost no action back here."

Broom scratched at the floor. "You would worry about your own amusement! Well the reason it happened was that a crooked cop named McBride got killed and some mucky-muck came up with the idea that Rick had something to do with it. Pretty stupid actually. Rick was friends with a mobster, Dino Scarpella, who actually helped solve the case, but they thought Dino might be behind McBride's shooting. So they bounced Rick. Anyway, according to lotion, the cops got some kind of a tip about who McBride's killer might actually be and Kate is all over it. She really wants to clear Rick's name."

"Well he is her husband," Mop noted unnecessarily. "So who's the suspect?"

"It's a hit man, Mitch O'Reilly," Broom reported. "CSU found a gun in a hidden compartment in his apartment and the bullets matched. The question is, who sent him?"

"O'Reilly sure doesn't sound Italian," Mop observed. "Westies?"

"Lotion said Kate was telling Rick that Gangs didn't think it was the Westies. O'Reilly is some kind of independent. Kate tried to sweat him but he just shut up and asked for a lawyer," Broom related regretfully.

"So now what?" Mop wondered.

"The usual, they check his financials, contacts, it's all on the murder board," Broom pointed out.

"Easy for you to say," Mop retorted. "You were near the murder board. I wasn't. Lots of crumbs there, not too many spills."

"Well Rick noticed that O'Reilly was buying flowers for someone on Valentine's Day and figured it might be his girlfriend. He and Kate went to go try and track her down," Broom continued.

* * *

"Okay, what's so funny?" Mop asked as Broom's bristles rattled against the wall.

"Well I just came back after sweeping up after Esposito's doughnuts and I found out that O'Reilly, the big bad hit man, wasn't sending flowers to his girlfriend, he was sending them to his mother." Broom rustled with amusement. "Rick baked some cookies and he and Kate visited her pretending to be new neighbors. She had pictures of O'Reilly up all over the place. She said he's a wonderful son, never forgets a holiday or a birthday. She has no idea that he's a hit man or that he's been arrested. She thinks her son is an executive who just got a new job from a corporation called Nesco and is away on a business trip. Esposito and Ryan are checking out Nesco."

"So are Rick and Kate back?" Mop asked.

"Yeah," Broom answered. "Kate was filling in all the information on the board. Oh, that sounds like her voice. Sounds like she's teasing Rick."

* * *

"Well that was interesting." Broom commented.

"Yeah," Mop agreed. "Rick's mother got flowers from a mystery man last Valentine's Day and Kate thought Rick sent them. Rick said he didn't and his mother wasn't with Bert then, so they're wondering who did."

"I think they're both a lot more interested in who ordered the hit on McBride though," Broom mused. "they didn't spend much time in here."

"Yeah," Mop sighed. "I hope married life isn't slowing them down."

Broom clacked loudly against the wall. "Of course you'd be more concerned with their sex life than Rick's good name."

* * *

"So what did you hear from Espresso?" Broom asked as Mop was returned to his place.

"Besides being upset at idiot cops who can't learn to use him right, and spray water all over the place?" Mop queried.

"Yes," Broom returned impatiently.

"Well Esposito and Ryan were comparing notes over coffee. Esposito was tracking calls coming in and out of Nesco, but he hadn't seen anything that jumped out at him. Ryan had better luck. He was tracking corporate ownership, whatever that is. It turned out that the largest owner of Nesco is Patricia McBride," Mop announced triumphantly.

"Is that McBride's wife?" Broom queried.

"Yup," Mop declared, his tendrils twirling. "Looks like she hired O'Reilly to kill her husband. I wonder if Kate can wring a confession out of her? Ooh wring! Get it?"

"Yes," Broom replied tiredly.

* * *

The door closed behind Rick and Kate as they finished adjusting their clothes.

Broom swayed against the wall. "That was some trick Kate just pulled off."

"Yeah," Mop agreed lustily. "I've never seen a woman raise her leg like that..."

"Not that!" Broom interrupted. "Do you never change? I mean Rick's recounting of how Kate joined Patricia's gym and made friends with her. Then she pretended to be the put upon wife with a rich husband who was cheating on her. She got Patricia to admit that her husband had done the same thing and she had taken care of it. Kate recorded the whole thing."

"Hmm, I wonder where she hid the recording device in her gym clothes," Mop puzzled. "It was funny when Rick said he'd never give her cause to hire a hit man and she reminded him that she could just shoot him herself. But then she reached for his belt saying 'Speaking of shooting.' That was great! One of their better against the door moments, especially what she did with her leg."

"Okay. I saw it. Alright?" Broom huffed. "I don't need your instant replay."

"I know you enjoyed it too," Mop accused. "Your straws were rubbing against each other the whole time. I think you left dust marks on the wall."

Broom pitched forward. "Where?"

Mop's tendrils flew straight out. "Got you!"

"Yeah, you got me," Broom conceded from the floor. "But the important thing is that now everyone knows Rick had nothing to do with McBride's death."

"I suppose," Mop replied, "but we still have the mystery of who sent the flowers to Rick's mother."

"True," Broom agreed. "We may never know."


	9. Chapter 9

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 9

"Who was that guy who just took the back stairs?" Broom asked as the janitor returned him to his hook.

"I don't know," Mop replied, "but he looked familiar, like maybe he's been here before."

"He's familiar alright!" Broom exclaimed. "He's been on the murder board twice. I don't know why he'd be sneaking around the precinct."

"Sounded like he was trying to listen in on the conversation Rick and Kate were having before they left," Mop offered. "They were talking about Rick's mother. She just got more of those mysterious flowers."

"Yeah, that's right," Broom agreed. "Rick seemed a little worried. He thought if it was just some fan of her acting, they would have been sent to her dressing room at the theater. No one should know where she lives. He thought his mother might have a stalker. He wanted to go interrogate the florist."

"Uh huh," Mop continued. "Kate had a little problem with that because she said no crime had been committed, but she told Rick she'd go along with doing it informally. I think they're going over there tomorrow morning before they come in. I'd love to be a flower in a vase for that one."

Broom scratched his bristles against the floor. "Of course. When don't you want to watch? Well not much more is going to happen tonight. Might as well settle in and wait for the janitor to bring vacuum back."

Mop's tendrils twirled in anticipation. "Yeah he always has some good dirt."

* * *

"Wow, I really hate it when Rick and Kate argue," Mop said, his tendrils drooping.

"Yeah, me too," Broom agreed. "But I can see Kate's point. She can't use N.Y.P.D. resources to trace down a credit card that was used to pay for flowers for Rick's mother. And you know what would happen if Scary Lady found out."

"I do," Mop admitted. "Still, it's a shame."

"Rick did say he was going to try to do it on his own," Broom reminded him, "something about skip trace techniques he learned from his PI course."

"Yeah," I just wish he hadn't gone back to the loft to do it," Mop fretted. "Nothing good happens when those two are apart."

Broom's bristles crackled. "Certainly nothing good from your point of view."

Mop rattled in offense. "That's not what I mean, at least not this time. I mean those times when she went off by herself and was tortured or kidnapped. She's a lot healthier when he's around. Then there were the two months when he disappeared. She was a hot mess."

"True," Broom conceded. "Let's just hope Rick figures this out and they can get back to normal. Hey, I wonder if this has anything to do with the guy on the stairs."

"Why would it?" Mop questioned.

"Well," Broom offered, swaying thoughtfully, "two people skulking around. It seems like quite a coincidence.

Mop flicked a tendril thoughtfully. "You may have a point."

"I saw him again!" Broom reported, his bristles quivering. "I was sweeping up butts by the back door and he was walking across the parking lot. He moves fast for a guy that age. He's old enough to be Rick's father."

"Come to think of it," Mop mused, "aren't his eyes a little like Rick's? And they do both have a lot of hair."

"What? You think they're related?" Broom asked doubtfully.

"Well think about it," Mop proposed. "We have some unknown person sending flowers to Rick's mother and then someone hanging around the precinct, who looks like Rick. You were the one talking about two people skulking around being such a coincidence. Maybe it's not a coincidence at all. Maybe it's some relative of Rick's keeping tabs on him and his mother?"

"Yeah but," Broom objected, "why not just give them a call or something?"

Mop's tendrils curled excitedly. "Ooh! I know! He's a spy! Rick's always talking about spies. Wait a minute, when Kate was comforting him in here one day, didn't she say something about Rick's father being a spy - before they got on to the good stuff?"

"I don't remember," Broom replied, "maybe I was out working. You think the guy is Rick's father, and he's a spy? Pretty far fetched isn't it?"

"No more than a lot of other things that happen around here," Mop insisted. "Wait and see. When Rick tracks down who sent those flowers, that's who it's going to be."

"If Rick tracks down who sent those flowers," Broom cautioned.

"Oh he will," Mop asserted. "When he puts his mind to something, he gets it. Consider Kate - although it took him long enough."

"As unusual as it is, you do have a point," Broom allowed.

* * *

"It was really nice to see them make up," Broom sighed.

Mop's tendrils twined completely around his head as he swayed against the wall. "Sure was. That was good!"

"Master Cleaner, you are hopeless!" Broom exclaimed. "I didn't mean that. I mean it's sweet that they're not arguing anymore."

"Well that too," Mop agreed. "I thought that Kate sort of admired how Rick got that skip trace software and tracked that credit card, even though it was for a phony identity and he was long gone. He showed a picture they had in a murder case file to a clerk at a motel and he said it was the guy. So it really was his father."

"And the photo on the phone was the guy we saw here too," Broom added. "But Rick couldn't be sure it was a phony identity," Broom reminded him. "He doesn't know the real one. He says he still has no idea what his father's real name is."

"But he did figure out something else though, didn't he?" Mop responded.

"What?" Broom asked.

"When he was counting back from his birthday on April first," Mop recalled, "the date that Martha got those last flowers, it was nine months before. It would have been the time Martha and whoever he is would have been making a little Rick."

Broom sank against the wall. "Well you always have to get back to that."

"Aw c'mon," Mop cajoled, "isn't it sweet he would remember?"

"If you consider trying to make up for making a human little one and then disappearing for forty years sweet," Broom pronounced, his bristles hissing. "Rick would never do that. Whenever his daughter's been around you could see how much he cares about her."

"Yeah, and the way those two make up, they could have another little one," Mop suggested.

Broom tilted on his straws, landing against a shelf. "You do have a one track mind, don't you? Alright! That's it! Obsess. I give up."

Mop silently rubbed the tips of his tendrils across the floor, eagerly awaiting Rick's and Kate's next visit.

A/N I'm putting up another Con Man story today. It will be under Misc, Misc TV, as usual, and will be called Back Aboard if you want to search by title.


	10. Chapter 10

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 10

"Oh Master Cleaner what a mess that was!" Mop exclaimed. "Good thing Scary Lady wasn't here to smell the beer on the floor. Did Espresso tell you what happened?"

"Of course," Broom replied, "he couldn't wait to spout off. You know how some of the cops here keep trying to talk Rick into putting karaoke into the Old Haunt?"

"Sure," Mop replied. "I've heard a lot of that in the Men's Room. They bug him about it all the time. He's done it for parties and he and Kate love it, but he says it would ruin the ambiance on regular nights."

"Right," Broom agreed, "well the guys here decided to take things into their own hands and with Scary Lady off on a seminar, they had a karaoke night in the break room last night. The off duty cops had beer, but from what Espresso said, the sober ones were just as enthusiastic - and hungry. I couldn't believe all the broken chips and popcorn I was sweeping up this morning."

"So who was in on it?" Mop asked.

"You know, it's hard to believe, but Espresso said Ryan was the driving force behind the whole thing," Broom related. "From the chatter Espresso heard, the idea went back to some karaoke Ryan did undercover on that Ninja assassin case."

"You mean the one where Rick accidentally got Scary Lady with a shirikin?" Mop wondered, "I heard she screeched the house down."

"Yeah I think that was the one. Anyway Ryan had to sing 'What I Like About You' as part of what they were doing and there were pieces of it that weren't exactly on key. Ryan claimed to Esposito that he could sing it perfectly and messing up was just part of his cover. After the story got around the precinct, Ryan decided he had to prove himself so he set the karaoke up last night," Broom explained.

"Was he any good?" Mop asked.

"Well I don't know what kind of judge Espresso is, but at any rate he said Ryan was very good. The cops were clapping along and some of the women got up to dance. He got lots of applause and whistles at the end."

"So who else did a number?" Mop queried.

"L.T. did. He sang 'My Girl'. I don't know if Espresso read it right," Broom pondered, "but he thought maybe L.T. was doing for a girl. He said that L.T. kept looking at one while he was singing and then went over to talk to her afterward."

Mop swished. "Yeah. I know exactly who Espresso's talking about. It's that new civilian clerk Kiki. I've seen him looking at her when she was getting stuff out of the vending machines, especially when she bent over. I've been wondering if we're going to get a visit from them."

Broom scratched against the floor. "of course you have. Well I doubt it. I don't think she was impressed. From what Espresso said, she said she had to go to the Ladies Room and cut the conversation short. She never came back."

"Damn!" Mop exclaimed. "I had high hopes for those two. So who else was singing?"

"Lady Doctor came and she was singing 'Comes Love.' Espresso said he heard someone call it a torch song. Whatever it was, the men really loved it. He thought maybe a couple of them wanted to ask her out but she got called to the morgue so they didn't have a chance."

"Whoa! How did Esposito feel about that?" Mop wondered.

"Oh yeah," Broom recalled. "Espresso said he left for a while when she started singing, that he seemed kind of upset."

"He probably misses her," Mop guessed. "I know I do - well both of them."

"Hey," Broom chided, "the man was probably in pain - and not the kind you're thinking about. Breakups are hard for humans."

"Yeah, I know," Mop agreed, chastised. "So what else happened?"

"Oh, there was Bruce," Broom remembered. "Espresso said he had quite a baritone. I'm not sure what that means. I guess Espresso heard someone say it. Anyway, the other cops were very impressed, even the ladies."

Mop fluttered a tendril. "Did he get anything out of it?"

Broom banged against the wall. "Please, the man is married. He probably went home to his wife."

"One doesn't always mean the other," Mop remarked. "We've both seen enough to know that. But how about Rick and Kate? They must have joined in the fun."

"Yeah they did. Espresso said they did a duet called 'That Old Black Magic.' Kate called it their Hamptons song."

Mop swayed. "Oh really? Did it seem like maybe they were getting ideas about anything else?"

"You know," Broom opined, "I think Espresso may be getting as bad as you. He did say they were rubbing against each other quite a bit when they sang it. But then Rick got some kind of a call. Espresso thought it was from his daughter. Anyway, he and Kate rushed out. After that another shift was coming in and things sort of stopped. That's probably when someone came to get you."

"Well I hope everything is all right," Mop mused uncharacteristically. "It's not like Rick to want to leave the fun."

"You're right," Broom agreed. "maybe we'll find out later."

* * *

Mop's loop made tiny dents in the wall. "Wow, Rick was upset wasn't he?"

"He's always upset when something happens to Alexis - or his mother or Kate," Broom reminded him. "That did sound upsetting, a frat party getting out of hand, drunk boys trying to do things to the girls - unwelcome things. Good thing Alexis was smart enough to get away and call her father for help. Then it was good that Kate brought the other cops in on it before anyone got hurt. She did say it was a very near thing and a couple of the boys might be charged."

"I hate that!" Mop exclaimed. "What the humans do, it's supposed to be fun for them, that's why I like watching it so much. Trying to force it, that's just wrong! But it was sweet to watch Kate try to make Rick feel better, even if all she did was hold him."

Broom rustled incredulously. "I never thought I'd hear anything like that from you, but you know what? I think there may be some hope for you yet."

Mop relaxed his handle against the wall. "And they can always do the good stuff next time."

Broom's bristles hissed against the floor "I knew it was too good to last."


	11. Chapter 11

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 11

"Not that I'm objecting," Mop said, "but why is everyone taking off their clothes?"

"See those streamers up there?" Broom asked, pointing his handle at a grate, "they're not moving. That means no air conditioning."

"Why would they turn off the air conditioning?" Mop questioned.

"Well, I heard Scary Lady in her office talking after she brought me in there to sweep up some broken knick knack. A couple of power plants went down and the city is trying to conserve power, so the public buildings are turning off air conditioning when they can. They brought in a bunch of fans and set them up in the bullpen. She had one in her office too," Broom noted. "She was standing in front of it fanning herself with a file. She muttered something about 'damn hot flashes.'"

"Kate was looking good though," Mop noted, "or at least Rick seemed to think so. She has that tiny little top. She was looking at him too. He's wearing a sleeveless t-shirt. I've never seen him wear one of those before. I wonder if they'll come back here?"

"I don't know," Broom mused. "When I was out there, she seemed kind of worried. All the cops did. There was a lot of whispering about the murder rate rising and people doing crazy things when it's hot. It could be happening. Sounds like there are a lot of phones ringing out there."

* * *

"So what's happening?" Mop asked.

"Oh it's bad," Broom reported as he was returned to the closet. "I was sweeping up the candy that's usually on Kate's desk. She knocked it on the floor, first time I can remember. She's not usually clumsy."

Mop curled his tendrils. "I'll say!"

"Please! This is serious!" Broom exclaimed. "There's someone out there shooting at police officers and anyone around them. There are two dead cops and six wounded civilians so far and that nut case is still out there."

"Oh Master Cleaner," Mop murmured. "So what are they going to do?"

Broom scratched anxiously. "From the sound of it, they're calling out every cop in the city to try and catch this guy. Scary Lady is setting up some sort of a task force."

"What about Rick and Kate?" Mop asked.

"From what I heard, Kate is going to be supervising a team and Scary Lady asked Rick to stay here and do research to see if he can find a pattern that matches this guy. She said he's good at that." Broom's straws twirled in wonder. "I don't think I've ever heard her pay him a compliment before."

"Yeah but that means they're separate again," Mop put in.

Broom swayed."No, I think Kate's going to do a lot of coordinating from here. She's sending out Ryan, Esposito, Bruce, Karpowski and she's also got the cops in blue like L.T. and Harrison."

"Sounds like good practice for being a captain," Mop noted.

"I doubt that's what she has in mind right now," Broom returned. "They just want to catch the maniac."

"Wow, Rick just took every spare board we had in here. What do you think he's doing?" Mop wondered.

"Well he and Kate are kind of the same that way. They write all the facts they can get on boards and then stare at them," Broom offered. "Sometimes that's how they put things together. Rick must have a lot of information."

"Yeah, I did hear him mutter something about wishing he had a smart board like the FBI, or the big screen he keeps in the loft," Mop agreed. "He's working hard. His shirt is soaked through."

Broom rustled. "I just hope he comes up with something."

"He will," Mop declared. "He always does."

* * *

"So what did you hear?" Broom inquired, his loop flipping.

"Not much," Mop admitted. "Espresso says almost no one is using him, not even Rick. I don't know if it's too hot for coffee or they're just too busy. I was cleaning up a soda that slid out of the vending machine too fast and broke. Nobody was taking a break. It's pretty intense. What the Cleaner is that? It sounded like it was coming from outside. Was that gunfire?"

"It sounded a little like it did when Rick shot that bomber," Broom recalled. "Listen! Everyone's running. It sounds like they're all going for the stairs. No wait! Kate is yelling for someone to get something from in here."

* * *

"What was that thing?" Mop asked. "It's just been in that back corner. I've never seen anyone use it."

"I don't know," Broom replied. "It's just a long pole with a hook. But Kate did say something about covering windows. Maybe it has something to do with that."

"Oh Master Cleaner! She's afraid someone is going to try to shoot people in here!" Mop exclaimed frantically.

"Calm down." Broom urged. "You don't know that. Hey isn't that Rick calling to her and Scary Lady? Sounds like he may have something."

Mop's tendrils trembled against the floor. "I hope so."

* * *

"So did the boards tell you what happened?" Mop asked.

"Yeah, some of it," Broom said, "Kate's wastebasket told me some too. Rick figured out some sort of connection to some shootings in Oregon. The snipers there were never caught, but he said they always had specific placements relative to each other. Rick had Scary Lady call in some people from ESU and Kate called in Esposito. From the angle of one shot they figured out where both snipers were and used two teams to get them."

"Are they dead?" Mop asked.

"One of them is," Broom replied. "The other one was wearing body armor and a helmet and survived. The shots from ESU knocked him down but didn't kill him."

Mop splayed against the floor in confusion. "I just don't understand. Why would people do something like that?"

"I don't understand it either," Broom confided, "but the live one had some kind of - I think big board called it a manifesto - in his pocket. Kate put it up on him. It's still there. Rick read it out loud. It said something about dismantling the unwitting tools of the establishment. Rick just shook his head. I think he thought it was crazy."

"So did Scary Lady at least say thank you to Rick this time?" Mop wondered.

"You know," Broom told him, "actually she did, in front of the whole bullpen in fact. Rick joked with Kate, at least I think it was a joke, that he thought he might faint and he wasn't sure if it was from the heat or because the captain said something nice to him twice."

Mop coiled in interest. "What did Kate do?"

"Oh I think you'll like this," Broom told him. "She put her hand under his shirt and whispered that he did feel really hot. Then she suggested they go back to their loft and take a shower together."

Mop leaned his handle toward Broom. "Ooh, what did Rick say to that?"

Broom settled contently in his place. "He didn't say anything. He just followed her to the elevator."


	12. Chapter 12

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 12

"Well did you you get your favorite?" Broom inquired.

"I got a trip to the Ladies Room if that's what you mean," Mop replied. "But Kate was in there crying."

"Why?" Broom asked. "Usually if she's sad she's in here and Rick is trying to comfort her."

"I guess this was more of a ladies thing," Mop supposed. "Kate said something about Rick laughing and I think I can understand it. Her hair is green."

"So she's had her hair all kinds of different colors. Why would that be a problem?" Broom wondered.

"Well from what I understand, green is not a normally accepted color, unless one is a performer of some kind. Kate wanted a change, especially for today and she was going for blonde but something went wrong," Mop replied.

"Why especially today?" Broom queried. "What's today?"

"Oh, I guess you haven't been out to see all the blue around here today," Mop realized. "It's uniform day. Once a year even the detectives and the captain have to wear their uniforms. Kate thought if she was in plain clothes she could claim the hair was some kind of undercover thing. But it doesn't fit at all with a uniform. She said if she couldn't fix it she was going to try to stuff it all up under her hat and hope no one notices."

"But they don't usually wear hats inside. That's still going to look strange," Broom assumed.

"Yeah it will," Mop agreed. "I'm pretty sure Kate thought so too. She was trying to reach her mother-in-law. She said she wasn't in the loft this morning. Kate thought it might have something to do with someone named Bert."

"Why Martha?" Broom asked.

"She's an actress. Don't you remember when she came in here and took the whole place back to the seventies?" Mop reminded him. "Scary Lady was mad enough. I guess Martha is supposed to know about hair and makeup. Kate thinks she might be able to help if she can get a call through."

"So is Kate just going to hide in the Ladies Room?" Broom questioned. "She must have work to do."

"Oh she does," Mop confirmed. "When I was taken out, Kate was sitting on the floor with a pile of papers, a pen, and her phone. I saw Rick on the phone on my way back here. It sounded like maybe he didn't think it was as funny anymore. He was talking to someone about helping her, but I don't think it was Martha."

* * *

"What was going on out there?" Mop asked as Broom was brought back from the bullpen. "It didn't sound like the usual activities."

"Oh it wasn't," Broom confirmed. "You probably don't remember, but a few years ago they were making a movie out of Rick's first book about Kate. The actress who was supposed to play her, Natalie Rhodes, came in here and was trying to copy everything Kate did. Most of the cops, at least the male cops, found her very sexy. I think Rick called her to come help Kate. She had a big bag with her. She signed autographs for anyone who wanted one and then went into the Ladies Room."

* * *

"So what did you see?" Broom asked as Mop was returned from his second foray into the Ladies Room.

"You mean besides all the water that actress, what did you call her, Natalie, got all over the floor?" Mop responded.

"Obviously," Broom retorted.

"Well I didn't see that much, but the paper towel dispenser did." Mop related. "Natalie came to turn Kate's hair back to the shade it was when Natalie was studying her, kind of a dark brown. Natalie brought everything and she and Kate were working on it. Kate said something about wanting some lighter highlights and Natalie told her not to push her luck. When I was taken out of there, Kate's hair was very dark and Natalie was using something really noisy to dry it off. She was trying to dry off Kate's uniform too. I guess it got wet when Natalie was doing whatever she was doing."

Broom's bristle's crackled. "Did you hear that?" Someone whistled out there.

"If that was for Kate, I hope it was Rick," Mop offered. "Yeah, it sounds like they're coming."

* * *

"Wow!" Mop exclaimed his tendrils twirling. "Rick was really turned on."

Broom rustled softly. "Kate did look really pretty with her hair dark like that, and it looked like Natalie gave it some curl it hasn't had in a while. It was really nice of her to do that."

Mop's tendrils flew almost to his handle."I don't think it was just the hair that got Rick going. It was the whole uniform thing. I mean he ran his fingers over her boots and the equipment on her belt. He was almost caressing those buttons. Then he asked her to cuff him."

"Oh please!" Broom exclaimed rising on the tips of his bristles.

"Please yourself!" Mop retorted. "I saw you watching too. They've never done anything like that in here before. She had him down on the ground and then he called her 'Officer Beckett' and told her she could have her way with him."

"Yes, I did hear that," Broom admitted.

"And then," Mop continued excitedly, "she opened his shirt and pulled off his pants and then slowly took her uniform off while he watched. I thought he was going to burst before she got on top of him. And she was driving him crazy. He was having a hard time in those cuffs, moving with her, until he finally said 'apples.' I don't know what that was supposed to mean, but she unlocked the cuffs and they finished. I loved it when he put the uniform back on her and put the equipment back on her belt, piece by piece. They were both getting so hot again, I thought they'd be back on the floor or against the door. They probably would have been if it hadn't been for Scary Lady. Talk about bad timing!"

"She was just doing her job," Broom offered. "She was calling all the cops out for inspection. She had to do that."

"Well I think Kate barely made it." Mop opined. "Rick smoothed her hair out for her as they were going out the door. He did say something about picking up where they left off, at their loft tonight."

"Well that must have been a disappointment to you," Broom jibed. "You won't get to see it."

Mop waved a tendril. "Oh I don't know. We'll just have to see. If I know those two, as turned on as they were, they won't make it through the shift."

Broom just flopped against the wall.


	13. Chapter 13

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 13

"Why is everyone so upset today?" Mop asked.

"I got this from Espresso and I don't think he understood it all, but remember when Rick and Kate went to rescue Alexis from that frat party?" Broom asked.

"Yeah," Mop recalled. "They were very upset and Kate had some boys arrested."

"Exactly," Broom confirmed. "So the word is that there was some kind of a hearing. Alexis testified, but none of the other girls came forward and the case was dismissed. Alexis wants to get Kate and Rick to help her build a case that can be, I guess the word was, refiled. She asked for help from Ryan and Esposito too."

"Scary Lady can't like that. She doesn't like them working on things outside their own cases." Mop responded.

"You'd think so," Broom allowed, "but she was upset at the way things went too. She told the detectives they could work on Alexis' case as long as it didn't interfere with their other work and they don't have a body."

"From the sounds going on out there," Mop noted. "I think they might have one."

* * *

"Alexis is a suspect!" Broom questioned incredulously. "That's impossible."

"Yeah, but it's what Ryan and Esposito were saying in the Men's Room," Mop reported. "The victim was one of the scuzzballs at the party and witnesses heard her tell him she was going to get him. His name is Skip Murcheson. Scary Lady is going to question her because she doesn't want anyone too close to Alexis doing it. That means that Ryan and Esposito are out and of course so are Rick and Kate, at least until Alexis is cleared."

"Rick must be going crazy, but clearing her shouldn't take long," Broom declared. "There's no way Alexis would murder anyone."

* * *

"So Alexis had an alibi?" Mop asked.

"Thank Master Cleaner!" Broom exclaimed. "Murder Board said Lady Doctor worked really fast to determine the time of death. Alexis was at the law library and there were several people who saw her. Lotion on Kate's desk told me Rick just sat there breathing for a few minutes after he heard that. Then Scary Lady came and said that Kate and Rick and Ryan and Esposito are back on the case. Murder Board had a list of other suspects."

"Who?" Mop queried.

"Other girls Skip may have attacked. Lady Doctor is working with Skip's body to figure out what happened. That may help," Broom informed him.

"What's to figure out?" Mop wondered.

"Oh, I didn't tell you," Broom realized. "Skip wasn't shot or beaten. There were no marks on the body. Lady Doctor thought he might have been poisoned. Lotion said Rick was looking at her report and shaking his head. He said he hated to think that one of the girls did it, but it's usually women who use poison."

"But not always, right?" Mop put in. "Wasn't some juror poisoned by a guy?"

"Yeah," Broom agreed. "I remember that. It was before your time, but there was also a talk show host poisoned by a guy. So right now, until Lady Doctor comes up with something else, it could be anyone."

"So have Rick and Kate been talking to the girls Skip attacked?" Mop asked.

"Kate has. I haven't heard anything, but Espresso did. He said Kate was telling Rick she thought the girls would feel more comfortable talking to a woman and asked Rick to stay out of it." Broom explained. "Then vacuum got taken into the lounge to clean up after one of the girls dropped her purse and spilled some kind of make-up on the floor. Whoever cleaned up just put vacuum in a corner instead of putting him back, so he heard everything after that. He said Kate talked very softly, not the way she usually is with suspects. Some of the girls were crying about what Skip did to them. Vacuum didn't have much sympathy for this Skip guy, even if he is dead. He thought Kate was working harder to clear the girls, than to try and find who did it. From what Board said later, she did a good job. None of them were anywhere near Skip in the hours around his death."

"So who does that leave?" Mop queried.

"Nobody, at least from the last I heard from Board," Broom replied. "But Lady Doctor still hasn't figured out the poison. Kate said there was nothing else to go on and told Rick she was going to call it a night. He rubbed her shoulders and suggested a bottle of wine and a hot bubble bath. She seemed all for that."

"Damn, I wish I could see that! I bet the cleaners in their loft have all the fun," Mop complained, "especially in the bathroom. Didn't I hear Rick and Kate talking about a giant Jacuzzi they both fit in, once?"

Broom's loop clacked reprovingly. "There you go again. We're in the middle of a very sad situation here and all you can think about is what Rick and Kate might do in a tub. Maybe by tomorrow morning there will be something else for Kate to go on."

* * *

"So what happened in the break room this morning?" Broom asked.

"Well there was a new cop who didn't know how to use Espresso and got milk and water all over the floor," Mop related.

Broom scratched disgustedly against the floor. "Not that! About the case. Was anyone in there talking about it?"

"Oh yeah!" Mop replied. "Esposito and Ryan were. Esposito was talking about how how smart Lanie, that's Lady Doctor, is. She found something that almost no one has ever died from in Skip's system. I think Esposito said it was called baclofen, some kind of muscle relaxant - whatever that is. I guess Ryan and Esposito and Rick and Kate are going to look at anyone with contact with Skip that might use something like that. Ryan and Esposito weren't looking forward to it. Ryan said it sounded like a huge job. Esposito said he didn't think it was worth it for a dirtbag like Skip. I think Ryan might have agreed with him but said they had to do it anyway."

* * *

Broom's handle banged against the wall. "This really sucks!"

"Wow, that's not something I usually hear from you," Mop observed. "What happened?"

"Board told me they found Skip's killer," Broom explained. "All the evidence had been taken down and he'd already been erased."

"But that's good news, isn't it?" Mop puzzled. "What's wrong?"

Broom swayed. "It's who the killer was that stinks. He was the brother of one of the girls Skip attacked. The poor guy, Maury, is in a wheel chair, for Cleaner's sake. He takes baclofen because of an injury. He was feeling guilty because he couldn't protect his sister and he has a job at some bar where the frat boys like to hang out. He slipped a bunch of baclofen to Skip when Skip was too drunk to notice. Lotion said Kate thought he didn't even mean to kill the guy, since almost no one has ever died from the drug. He just wanted to make Skip feel weak and helpless for a while, like his sister. But Skip died and now Maury is going to jail. It's not fair!"

Mop ran a tendril over Broom's bristles. "You know, I usually don't hope that the killers get good lawyers, but in this case I do. Some of the ones we've seen around here could probably make a jury sympathetic enough to get Maury off."

Broom rustled softly. "I hope for once, you're right."


	14. Chapter 14

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 14

Mop's handle swayed against the wall. "Wow, can you feel that? The building is rattling."

"Yeah, it's really busy out there," Broom added. "Board is empty. Usually that means everyone goes home, but they're all here. They must be getting ready for something. Last time I remember it being like this was before Hurricane Sandy. Oh, sounds like Scary Lady is calling everyone together."

"This is serious, she's using the thing that talks to the whole precinct," Mop noted. "I can hear her."

"I can hear her too. She sounds calm though," Broom offered. "Maybe it won't be so bad."

"Uh uh," Mop disputed, "you know her. The worse things are, the calmer she sounds. I think she practices. Must be a captain thing. I think Kate is learning it. Sometimes she does the same thing, at least until she gets in here with Rick and lets it go."

"Rare as it is, I think you may be right," Broom agreed. "Sounds like everyone is getting emergency orders, but she's telling the volunteers they're free to leave. You think Rick will go home?"

"I think we'll find out," Mop answered. "Isn't that him coming? And it doesn't sound like Kate is with him."

* * *

"Well it sounded like Rick made sure Martha and Alexis were taken care of," Broom said. "He was talking to them them at some hotel. Did he say Ithaca?"

"Yeah," Mop confirmed. "He said something about way inland. Then he was promising them he'd take care of himself."

Broom rubbed against the wall doubtfully. "I don't know. Seems like he's always running into trouble as much as Kate does, and he doesn't even have a gun."

"I guess that's true," Mop agreed, "but he seems to come out all right. Anyway it sounds like he's staying with Kate - as usual.

* * *

"What were you doing so long?" Broom asked anxiously as Mop was replaced, his tendrils dripping.

Mop sank against the wall. "The water is coming in downstairs. Everyone was running around unplugging everything and trying to get everything they could off the floor. The cops all had soaked pants. They said something about the sewers backing up. They were using me, my cousins, Wet Vac, anything they could to to dry the water and get it up. But it's too much. It must be above the baseboards now. Scary Lady just ordered everyone to come upstairs. She was on the phone trying to get someone in to help, but I don't think she had much luck. Everyone was talking about what a mess it is out there. Oh! What just happened?"

"There's no light coming under the door anymore," Broom noticed. "There's no air blowing either. The power must be out. It's happened before. They have what somebody called an emergency generator. The power should come back on."

Mop stirred uncomfortably in his puddle. "Nothing's coming back on."

"Maybe the water broke something," Broom suggested. "I've seen that happen sometimes when things that plug in get wet, they don't work anymore."

"I've seen that too," Mop agreed. "Is that Scary Lady yelling? What does evacuation mean?"

"It means everyone is supposed to get out," Broom informed him.

"Mop's loop trembled. "You mean they're leaving us alone?"

Broom's straws swished softly. "Hey, they'll be back. Things will just have to dry out."

"How long do you think that will take?" Mop wondered.

Broom's handle swayed. "I don't know."

* * *

"What a mess!" Mop declared tiredly. "How long have we been cleaning up now?"

"A week, I think," Broom answered. "At least everyone is back now, well the people anyway, some of our friends are gone. The water killed them."

Mop's tendril's sagged. "I'm really going to miss the sergeant's chair. I didn't get to talk to him a lot, but he knew everything. Wet Vac died, his motor broke. I'm gonna miss him too. He saved me a lot of work. But they got a new one and she makes a nice sound. She's actually kind of cute."

"Sounds like you're beginning to get back to your old self," Broom observed.

"Well maybe," Mop responded. "I haven't seen Rick or Kate yet."

"I have," Broom told him."Esposito was dropping doughnut crumbs by Murder Board again and Rick and Kate were there. Rick was yawning. Board said a body dropped last night. I don't think either one of them slept much."

The air around Mop misted as his tendrils swirled. "They have more interesting things to do than sleep."

Broom's bristles crackled disapprovingly. "Sadly, you really are getting back to normal."

"Well who was the body?" Mop asked.

"They don't know yet," Broom answered. "He's up as a John Doe. Board said Rick thought he looked vaguely familiar, but couldn't place him. He thought maybe it he'd seen the guy on one of his conspiracy sites and he said he was going back to the loft to get his laptop to check. Wait, that sounds like him coming now."

Mop's loop clicked. "You old phony! You know his footsteps as well as I do. Damn! He's alone."

* * *

"Why do you think he was doing that in here?" Mop pondered. "None of that stuff was even sexy."

"Maybe he just didn't want anyone looking over his shoulder," Broom suggested. "Except for Ryan, the detectives do tease him about the sites he goes to. It sounded like he found something though. I think that's what 'eureka' means."

* * *

"So did you get the story from Espresso?" Mop asked.

"I did," Broom announced. "Esposito and Ryan talked about the whole thing over pizza in the break room."

"So give," Mop demanded. "Who was the body and who killed him?"

"Well Espresso said Ryan was kind of smug that Rick found the guy on a conspiracy site, although not a conspiracy Rick went along with. The guy's name was Doug Douchet."

"Mop's tendrils fluttered. "For real?"

"Yeah," Broom confirmed. "Esposito said the name fit. The guy was what they called a climate change denier. He claimed everything the people called scientists have been saying is a hoax - you know, a lie - and said the big storms were over. He made some people think that nothing was going to happen. Anyway, the killer believed him and didn't listen to the warnings that were put out - lost almost everything he owned when the water came. When he realized what happened, he shot Douchet.

"How did they track him down?" Mop questioned.

"Well once Rick figured out who Douchet was, they went through his emails. He and the guy who shot him, Buck Bundy, they'd been writing to each other. Then Bundy's last email was all bad words. Ryan said they probably would have even bleeped it on pay cable, whatever that is. Anyway," Broom explained, "they went after Bundy. They traced his credit card. The idiot had checked into some cheap motel in New Jersey because his house was gone. He didn't even get rid of the gun. Ryan said it was one of the few things he had left and he didn't want to let go of it, even though it nailed him for the shooting."

"So if Ryan and Esposito were here, where did Rick and Kate go?" Mop queried.

"Oh," Broom replied. "Espresso said they came in and Rick started to make coffee. But then he and Kate looked at each other and she suggested they go back to the loft for a nap. Espresso didn't know what would make Rick happy about that, but he put on one of those big grins of his and offered her his arm."

"Damn!" Mop exclaimed. "I think I'm missing the fun again."


	15. Chapter 15

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 15

"Wow, we haven't been so busy since the storm," Mop griped.

"From what I hear they like to make things perfect for weddings," Broom told him, "and Officer Hastings is getting married."

"You mean the cop who Rick said was a muse like Kate - only for another writer?" Mop asked.

"Yeah, Lone Vengeance herself," Broom confirmed. "Board told me all about her. There were lots of pictures of her in a costume on him a few years ago. Also a bunch of comic books, you know, what Esposito reads in here."

"Oh yeah, Rick reads them too," Mop offered, "except he doesn't try to hide it. Why do you think Esposito pretends he doesn't?"

Broom's bristles scratched in bafflement. "I don't know. Humans are strange. Speaking of strange, Scary Lady is really excited about the wedding. She's actually been smiling all day."

"That's freaky alright," Mop agreed. "Where is everything supposed to happen? We've been cleaning up the whole place."

"Well I've been hearing from Vacuum and the wastebaskets and New Sergeant's Chair," Broom said. "The best I can figure out is that the lobby downstairs is the only place big enough for what they're calling the ceremony. They've been putting flowers down there and there's some sort of white cloth that's supposed to go on the floor. Then when they finish with that, they're setting up the break rooms with food and Officer Hastings and the guy she's marrying, Paul, are going to visit with people there and in the bullpens while they're eating. They called that circulating. I think they may be playing some music so people can dance if they have a chance, too. That would be kind of like it was at the Christmas party."

Mop's loop clicked grumpily against the wall. "Sounds like we get to do all the work but we won't get to see much of anything, as usual."

Broom's straws swished thoughtfully. "Oh I don't know. All those cops eating and drinking, there will have to be some kind of a mess. We may get to something. Maybe a flower vase will tip over and you'll need to clean it up. Anyway, Espresso will give us a blow by blow of whatever happens in the break room up here and the wastebaskets are everywhere. We'll get the story."

* * *

"Are you dripping?" Broom asked.

Mop drew his tendrils in. "No, just a little wet from the spill in the lobby. New Sergeant's Chair told me everything that happened down there."

Broom's straws fluttered. "Tell me."

"Well," Mop began, "he said Officer Hastings didn't look anything like a cop. She was wearing a long white dress that trailed on the floor. That Paul guy was wearing some kind of suit like the big shots wear when they come through and there was a guy there with a funny collar saying a lot of words and asking them to repeat after him. Then they put rings on each others' fingers and the guy with the funny collar told them they could kiss. Chair said it looked like they didn't want to let go of each other and everyone clapped. The weirdest thing is, Chair said Scary Lady was crying and Rick handed her his handkerchief."

Broom swayed. "Didn't I say humans are strange? Was Kate with Rick?"

Mop twirled a tendril. "Of course! Chair said she and Rick held hands through the whole thing. Ryan and Jenny were there and they did too. But it's your turn. What did you hear from Espresso?"

"Well he just couldn't shut up," Broom related. "He said there was a whole lot of food, all in little bites, in the break room. Kate and Rick came in and Ryan and Jenny. Esposito and Lady Doctor Lanie were there too, but they weren't sitting at the same table. Lanie was sitting with Rick and Kate and Esposito was sitting with Ryan and Jenny, but Esposito and Lanie kept looking at each other. Espresso thought they looked sad. Oh Tory was there too, and Scary Lady came in. L.T. and Officer Harrison came in too. A lot of the detectives from the bullpen loaded up plates and took them back to their desks.

"Then the wastebaskets told me this part. Officer Hastings and Paul came into the bullpen and L.T. put some music on one of those machines, they thought it was called a boombox. Then Officer Hastings and Paul started to dance, really slowly. After they finished, Rick and Kate started to dance and so did Ryan and Jenny. You'll like this. Lanie went over to Esposito and they started to dance too and then Rick stopped dancing with Kate for a few minutes and danced with Scary Lady."

"Unbelievable!" Mop exclaimed. "That sure doesn't go with the way she's always yelling at him."

"Well she wasn't yelling while they were dancing, at least not according to the wastebaskets," Broom continued. "But after a song he went back to dancing with Kate. Some of the other detectives were dancing too. The wastebaskets said it looked like they were having a really nice time. But then the phones started ringing and Scary Lady told everyone that they'd have to get back to work."

"Was there a body?" Mop inquired.

"I don't think so," Broom replied. "Board didn't have anything. And Kate and Rick and Ryan and Esposito stayed in the bullpen. He thought Jenny and Lanie left."

Mop rose on his tendrils. "Ooh, isn't that Rick and Kate coming now?"

* * *

Mop rubbed against the wall in satisfaction. "That was good. If that's the effect weddings have on Rick and Kate we need more of them around here. When Rick started playing that song about veins I thought they were just going to dance some more."

"Well they did," Broom noted.

"Yeah, but that wasn't the good part!" Mop interjected. "When they started talking about their own wedding and then about the wedding night and started pulling their clothes off, that was the good part. At least until Kate touched that scar Rick has and he remembered he didn't know how he got it. That stopped things for a couple of minutes while they talked about it, until they got going again. I think Kate was working even harder at it to make him feel better and it looked like he certainly did. They both did."

Broom swayed disapprovingly. "Was anyone ever more shallow than you? He was talking about not knowing how he got a bullet graze and you wanted them to start making out again."

"Well it's not like you weren't paying attention, or you wouldn't have known it was a bullet graze," Mop retorted. "They enjoy each other and I enjoy watching them and if you want to pretend you don't, fine. Just don't think you're fooling anyone."

Broom's bristles flattened and he settled silently into his place.


	16. Chapter 16

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 16

"What is going on out there?" Broom wondered.

"I don't know," Mop replied, "but it sounds hectic. Scary Lady is giving orders and it sounds like she's giving them to Rick."

"Doesn't sound like anyone is coming this way," Broom noticed. "We may have wait until we're on the cart tonight to find out."

"Story of our lives," Mop groused.

* * *

"Wow, that is some story!" Mop exclaimed. "Wastebasket from the lobby said he heard Rick come running in yelling that there was a body. Then he didn't even wait for the elevator. He just ran up the stairs calling for Kate."

"Yeah, Board knew a lot more," Broom continued. "He said Rick actually found the body. It's one of the guys who drive the trucks that bring food outside in the evening. The one Rick really likes, I think."

"You mean the one with the macaroni and cheese and hot chocolate that get all over the break rooms?" Mop asked. "Good riddance."

Broom's bristles flew up accusingly. "That's a terrible thing to say! That driver made a lot of people feel better around here, especially Rick and Kate. Anyway Board heard Rick tell Kate the story. He said that the guy, his name was Rafael, wasn't at the window in the truck like he usually was, and Rick could smell something burning, so he opened the back door of the truck and found Rafael. He said he thought Rafael's head had been bashed in with a skillet and it was still lying there. So was a knife.

"Kate called Scary Lady and Lanie. That's when Scary Lady told Rick to go into interrogation and just wait there while the scene was secured. Board thought that meant using all that yellow tape. She told Kate to hang back and let Ryan and Esposito handle it until they figured out what Rick's involvement was."

"Why would Rick be involved if he just found the body?" Mop puzzled.

"I don't think Scary Lady thinks he is, but it's procedure," Broom explained, "and you know how she is about procedure."

"You've got that right," Mop agreed. "So then what?"

"Well Wastebasket in interrogation said Rick was sitting there for quite a while and he wasn't happy about it. He kept asking for Kate. Then finally Ryan and Esposito went in to take his statement and then they heard from Lanie that Rafael had been dead at least an hour. Rick had the whole bullpen as his alibi, so they let him out of there. Board said Kate took him home."

"They'll be back today, won't they?" Mop asked anxiously.

Broom scratched against the floor in annoyance. "How would I know?"

"Well I can't see Rick staying away from a case, especially one where he's witness," Mop comforted himself.

* * *

"What was going on in Tech?" Mop asked.

"Someone spilled cheese puffs all over the floor," Broom reported. "Tory was upset. She said something about particulates getting into the equipment."

"Besides that," Mop prompted.

"Ryan was looking at the video from outside the building. Rafael's truck was on it. So were a couple of other trucks. There were a lot of people on the video too, including a lot of cops, but the angle was wrong to see who might have gone in the door, so Ryan was telling Tory there would be a lot of people to talk to. He didn't sound happy about it," Broom related. "He said something about a job tonight."

Mop twirled a tendril thoughtfully. "Yeah, that's right. Ryan likes to earn extra money for Sarah Grace. Rick and Kate will probably want to work on it late. Was there any sign of them?"

"I only saw the bullpen for a second, but I didn't see them," Broom replied.

* * *

"I haven't seen or heard Rick or Kate all day," Mop complained.

"They might have better things to do than come in here," Broom reminded him.

Mop swished impatiently. "What could be better than coming in here?"

Broom rubbed against the wall, disgusted. "Solving a case for one thing. But we should find out tonight. Janitor should be going by all the desks and doing all the wastebaskets. He'll be cleaning around Board too. If there's anything to find out, we'll hear it. If Rick and Kate are working late, we might get to hear them too. Ryan probably won't be here, but there's Esposito."

"Esposito can get a little grouchy when he stays," Mop commented, "and there are things I'd much rather see Rick and Kate do than solve a case, but I guess I'll take what I can get."

"Well good for you," Broom returned haughtily. "Oh wait a minute! Sounds like someone's being brought into interrogation, and I hear Rick. Maybe we'll get something from the cleaning pads in there later on."

* * *

"So what happened in interrogation?" Mop asked.

"The pads said the guy they brought in owns another food truck. Rick and Kate called him Marco," Broom related.

"If there was more than one food truck there, how did they know he was the one?" Mop wondered.

Broom twitched a straw. "Oh that was all Rick. When the guy started to deny it, Rick insisted that when he found Rafael, the truck smelled like Marinara sauce, but Rafael didn't make anything with Marinara sauce. So CSU checked to see if there were traces of it in Rafael's truck. They found some on the skillet and a little bit on the edge of a work table, where it might have rubbed against an apron with sauce on it. So Rick checked out the sauce in all the food trucks to see who had a Marinara like the one he smelled. Pads said Kate sounded pretty proud of Rick when she informed Marco that CSU was checking the sauce in his truck to see if it matched what was on the skillet, even as they were speaking."

"So did the guy ask for a lawyer?" Mop queried.

Broom clacked in satisfaction. "He wasn't that smart. He said Rafael was cutting into his business and he went over to ask him nicely if they could have less overlap in their hours, but things got out of hand. He claimed that Rafael threatened him with a knife, so he hit him with a skillet; that he didn't mean to kill him. Then Rick told him it was a nice try, but the only knife found near the body was on the right side of the body. Rafael was left handed. He couldn't have threatened Marco with it. So then Esposito came in and handcuffed Marco."

"And Kate didn't even bring Rick in here to give him a reward for solving the case," Mop complained bitterly.

"Oh, Board said when they were taking things down afterward, Kate suggested to Rick that since Marinara played such an important part in the case, maybe he'd like to go out to a nice Italian restaurant - before they celebrated at home," Broom added offhandedly.

Mop's tendrils twined. "Oooh, What did Rick say to that?"

"According to Board, he said that all things considered, he'd rather have Chinese. Then Kate laughed and they kissed."

Mop rattled against the wall. "Damn! Missed it all again."


	17. Chapter 17

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 17

Mop curled his tendrils protectively. "Man, this is bad news."

"What is?" Broom asked.

"Well someone got me to clean up the spill when a pitcher fell out of the refrigerator in the break room this morning and Espresso told me Ryan and Esposito had been in there talking, and it sounded pretty grim," Mop explained.

"I'll probably be sorry I asked, but how so?" Broom queried.

Mop's tendrils splayed as his handle rubbed against the wall. "Ryan and Jenny had a fight. Espresso thought it was a big one. She was complaining that she never sees him because of all the extra work he's taking on. She wants to go back to work so he doesn't have to do it. He doesn't like the idea. He wants to earn enough money so that Jenny can stay home while Sarah Grace is young. He doesn't trust anyone else to take care of his daughter. Ryan even pulled Rick into the argument when Rick came back there to get Kate some coffee."

"What did Rick say?" Broom wondered.

"He said he understood how Ryan felt because he had trouble letting anyone watch Alexis after Alexis' mother took off when Alexis was a baby. He said he was lucky that being a writer allowed him to stay with Alexis most of the time. But he also said he hated it when he was away from Kate and thought there must be some kind of better solution. Espresso said he looked very thoughtful when he left," Mop added.

"Hmm, once Rick starts thinking about a problem like that he won't stop until he comes up with something," Broom mused.

"That's true," Mop agreed. "I wonder what he'll come up with?"

"As usual," Broom declared, "we'll have to wait and see."

* * *

"Just my luck, Rick and Kate come in here and all they do is talk," Mop moped.

"It was a pretty important discussion," Broom pointed out. "Rick asked Scary Lady to put a daycare center in the precinct and he thought she really did try, but it wouldn't fly with 1PP. They told Scary Lady there wasn't any money for it."

"Well that's their excuse for everything isn't it?" Mop asked. "They said that, or at least the commissioner did, about hiring Kate back after the FBI kicked her out, but somehow when a big shot friend asked him to do it, the commissioner found the money. But anyway, it sounded like Rick wasn't giving up."

"He wasn't," Broom agreed. "He said something about putting together a charity event to fund it."

"Well if anyone can do it, Rick can," Mop opined. "He also said something about enlisting Hurricane Martha."

* * *

"Rick was just talking about the big day, out there," Broom reported. "I think he means whatever he and Martha have been cooking up. She's been in and out of here for weeks and Scary Lady hasn't even gotten mad."

"That has been a little unnerving," Mop offered. "New Sergeant's Chair said they're setting up something in the parking lot. They've got a tent out there and chairs. It's a way bigger deal than Officer Hastings wedding was."

"Rick is all dressed up too," Broom added. "He has one of those suits with a white shirt and a black tie that looks like a bow. He said something about being the M.C.. Kate said she'd be changing into a long dress as soon as she's off duty. They will make a lovely couple."

Mop swirled around himself. "Personally I prefer them with their clothes off. It's a lot more fun that way."

Broom knocked his handle against the wall. "Of course you do. Things should be starting soon. It's such a good cause. I hope someone can tell us what happens."

"All the orange cones are down there and some of the chairs from up here. Someone will give us the story," Mop assured him.

* * *

"So what did you hear?" Broom asked excitedly.

"Well," Mop began, "The cones said a bunch of people arrived in a bus. They said they were led by a lady with red hair. That was probably Martha. They couldn't see what happened after that but there was a lot of sound coming from the tent. Then a folding chair, you know the one they sometimes use in Tech, he told me he was in the tent and saw the whole thing. There were a lot of people and a lot of the women were wearing shiny hard things like Kate has on her finger. Some of the men were too. Rick got in front of a microphone and said hello to everyone. Then he thanked everyone for coming to raise money for the daycare center. He talked about how important it was for cops to know their children were safe while they did battle every day in the streets. Folding Chair said it was a very moving speech."

"Well, Rick is good at that," Broom offered.

"According to Folding Chair, everyone seemed to think so," Mop replied. "So then Rick introduced Martha who told everyone about the people she'd brought with her. Some of them were actors she works with on Broadway and others are students at her acting school. She told them that they were going to see 'Detective Story,' a play that had not been seen on Broadway since 1950, but had featured such luminaries as Ralph Bellamy and Maureen Stapleton. She added that the play had won an Edgar Award from the Mystery Writers of America, making it very appropriate for the precinct where her son found his muse and pointed out that Rick had won a Poe for his work based on what the police did there."

"She's proud of Rick," Broom noted. "That's nice."

"I think what was nicer was that she told them to get ready to get out their checkbooks. So there was a play," Mop continued. "Kate arrived in time for it and sat with Rick. I asked Folding Chair if they were doing anything besides watching the play, but he didn't notice. Wow, some folks around here just don't get what's important."

"Obviously," Broom agreed dryly, his bristles crackling.

Mop fluttered a tendril at him. "Anyway, after the play there was food and the actors and Rick and Martha walked around taking pieces of paper from people. Folding Chair said they looked pleased, like those pieces of paper were very good. Then after a while people left and Folding Chair was brought back up to Tech."

* * *

So Board said Ryan brought Sarah Grace this morning," Broom announced. "He showed her to everyone before taking her downstairs to the daycare center. He looked a little nervous."

Mop clacked his loop. "Yeah, that's Ryan. He'll probably go down there to check on her ten times today."

"He's a good father," Broom decided, "and I probably shouldn't tell you this."

"What?" Mop demanded, his tentacles waving wildly.

"Rick suggested to Kate that having the center here would make it a lot easier for them to have a little one if she wanted to," Broom confided.

Mop rose on the tips of his tendrils. "Oh Master Cleaner, if Rick and Kate do what it takes to make a little one, please let them do it back here!"

Broom settled against the wall, his straws sighing. "Somehow I knew you'd say that."


	18. Chapter 18

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 18

As he was returned from the Men's Room, Mop unhappily surveyed his odorous tendrils. "Man it's a nightmare in there!"

"What's happening? Broom asked, his handle tilting away.

"There are a lot of people sick, very sick," Mop reported.

"I could tell that," Broom replied, trying to lean even further away, "but why?"

"It sounded like they weren't sure," Mop replied. "Some of the men were talking about it being some kind of stomach virus but some of the others suggested that was it something from the potluck they had a couple of days ago, especially since nobody's families seem to be sick. That's what Rick thought. He wasn't sick but he was in there helping Ryan, who said that Jenny and the baby are fine. Rick said he missed the potluck because he had a meeting with his publisher, but Kate was there and now she's sick."

"How about Scary Lady?" Broom asked.

"I don't know," Mop answered. "I was just in the Men's Room and I didn't see her."

Broom clacked his loop disapprovingly. "You'd think if her people are sick, she'd send them home."

Mop swished in puzzlement. "I don't know," he repeated. "I'll probably find out more later. Looks like it's going to be a really busy day."

* * *

"Hey," Broom rattled, "I was just talking to Big Sponge. He had to clean out Wastebasket, the one from Scary Lady's office. He said she's sick too. That's why he had to clean Wastebasket. Wastebasket said she was on the phone to IPP saying she needed to have people come in because she wants to send her sick cops home but she doesn't have enough people to cover. She didn't seem happy with the answer she got."

"Did Big Sponge know what was happening in the bullpen?" Mop asked.

"Yeah, he had to clean up a couple of chairs," Broom replied. "He said most of the detectives had their heads down on their desks. Rick was running around picking up phones and trying to be helpful in-between taking care of Kate. If there is a murder, I don't know what they'll do. Oh, that sounds like Rick and Kate coming, but those aren't her usual footsteps."

* * *

"They didn't stay very long," Mop noted.

"Probably because Rick is about the only one out there who can do anything," Broom guessed, "but it was nice of Rick to put those pads down and just hold Kate for as long as he could. It seemed to make her feel a little better, even if she didn't like the smell of you. Come to think of it, that may be the real reason why they left so soon."

"Not my fault!" Mop protested huffily.

"I know," Broom soothed. "I hope all the cops get over this fast. Oh oh! It sounds like there's something happening out there."

* * *

"So what's going on?" Broom asked as Mop was returned to his place.

"Someone didn't make it to the Men's Room," Mop told him, "but you want to know about the murder, right?"

Broom rustled his bristles. "Of course I want to know about the murder."

"Well from what Board was able to tell me, Scary Lady pulled in a detective from another precinct who used to work here. You remember Grant Sullivan, the guy who had Kate's desk when she went to work for the FBI? They called him Sully."

"Who could forget him!" Broom exclaimed. "He was the biggest slob I've ever seen. Besides Kate coming back, I think that's why Scary Lady had him transferred, she couldn't stand looking at the mess. So what did he do?"

"He went to the murder scene and he took Rick with him. Rick didn't want to leave Kate," Mop added, "but she told him to go and be her eyes, so he went. Rick wrote all the stuff on Board when they came back. He called the victim a street vendor, said he sold Nathan's® hot dogs and hot pretzels. They found him in an alley, covered in mustard, with his cart pushed in front of him. They called him Francis Furter. Someone had stuffed a whole hot dog down his throat and he choked to death. When Kate saw the picture, she ran off to the Ladies Room. Board said Rick went after her."

Broom waved his handle. "He's not supposed to do that."

"Mop fluttered his tendrils in amusement. "Since when has Rick ever cared about what he's supposed to do? Anyway Board said he was holding on to her when they came back and he just sort of put her in her chair."

"Poor Kate. So who would kill a street vendor?" Broom queried.

"They had no idea. Sully said he was going to order any video footage he could get of the area. Then Rick said he was taking Kate to a doctor. He actually picked her up and carried her to the elevator."

* * *

"What were you doing out there?" Mop asked.

Broom swayed on his bristles. "Sweeping up Sully's mess. There were doughnut crumbs all over the break room and little bits of taco chips all around Board. I hope he finishes this case fast and goes back where he belongs. At least the other detectives are feeling better today. Kate's back, although Rick keeps looking at her and asking if she's okay. Sully found video of some people who were in the area around the time that other doctor, Perlmutter, said Furter had died. Tory is trying to run that facial recognition thing she does to figure out who they are."

* * *

"So did they figure out who killed Furter?" Mop asked when Broom was returned from the bullpen.

"Thank Master Cleaner they did!" Broom exclaimed, resting against the wall. "Sully will be going back to his own precinct. Board told me that after what happened here, Kate was wondering if the murder might have something to do with the Furter's food. She said there were some people in the precinct who would have loved to do something violent to whomever brought the dish that made people sick - if they knew who it was. So Kate convinced Sully to check out the suspects Tory identified for any connection to food. Sully found this guy Ralph Werst, who was a distributor for Sabretts hotdogs. Sabretts used to make Nathan's®, but they don't anymore. Werst had been supplying Furter and most of the other vendors, but Furter decided that Nathan's® tasted better and switched. He convinced a lot of other vendors to switch too. Werst was furious at the loss of business, so he decided that Furter should choke on his choice and killed him.

Perlmutter found DNA on Furst's body and then Kate retrieved a napkin Werst used to wipe his mouth with after eating a hot dog from one of his own vendors. Board said he heard Rick tell Ryan and Esposito that after Perlmutter made a match, Kate faced Werst with it and he confessed."

"So what did Rick and Kate do after that?" Mop asked. "They didn't come back here."

"No," Broom agreed. "Kate said she was finally hungry again and asked about a trip to Remy's. But Rick decided he wanted to take her back to the loft."

"Good for him if not for me," Mop commented, curling his tendrils.

Broom flailed his straws. "Honestly! That's not why he did it. He just said that for a while if she was going eat anything, he was going to cook it himself."

Mop's handle twirled in its socket. "Alright Broom. Believe what you want."


	19. Chapter 19

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 19

"What were all those people in black leather doing in the precinct?" Mop asked. "Did Espresso know?"

"I think he heard some of it," Broom replied. "Rick was teasing Kate about being a biker chick icon. From what Espresso was able to figure out, the precinct and one of the biker organizations are teaming up for something. Espresso thought Rick called it Bikers for Brotherhood. Rick thought that was funny because it's centering around Kate, who he said would never be mistaken for anyone's brother. The idea is to try and bring some understanding to the community about getting along."

"What does all this have to do with Kate?" Mop asked.

"Well you know she rides a motorcycle, right?" Broom questioned.

"Not really," Mop replied. "That's not what she and Rick talk about."

"Oh yeah," Broom recalled. "That's because of something that happened before you got your new head. That was before Rick and Kate were - a couple. There was a guy who came around the precinct to see Kate. She called him Josh and Rick called him Doctor Motorcycle Boy."

"Sounds like Rick was jealous," Mop put in.

Broom bobbed his handle. "Maybe. We could all see Rick didn't like him very much. Neither did Ryan or Esposito. Anyway, he and Kate rode motorcycles together. We haven't seen him around here for years, but he has something to do with that organization and suggested Kate be involved in the program."

Mop spun a tendril. "Rick must have loved that."

"Well Espresso did say that whenever Josh's name comes up Rick gets a very funny look on his face," Broom admitted.

Mop's loop clacked excitedly. "I think Rick and Kate are coming now."

* * *

Mop's tendrils twined tightly around themselves. "Wow! That was something."

Broom scratched against the floor. "If you say so."

"Oh c'mon!" Mop returned. "The way Rick looked at Kate in all that black leather? He couldn't wait to take it off her. I think those zippers sparked, he undid them so fast. And she wanted him to. The way she was climbing his body..." Mop flattened on the floor as his tendrils splayed. "I think the shelves are still vibrating. She pulled his things off as quickly as he did hers and then she had him against the door while she had her legs around him." Mop fell against the wall. "I wish bucket was full. I need to cool off."

Broom swayed forward and back in disdain. "you certainly do. If it was too much for you, you could have just looked the other way. I did."

"Like deepest dirt you did," Mop accused. "You saw and heard every minute of it. When he told her he wanted to enjoy her in leather before the reading public did, I could see your handle leaning in. You're not fooling anyone."

"I was just trying to find out what was going to happen out there," Broom protested, "and Rick did say something about a photo shoot for Biker World."

"More like he panted something about a photo shoot," Mop retorted, "but he did help Kate put herself back together after the fun. I think she looked even sexier after they were done. There was kind of a glow to her."

"That's called being hot and sweaty from making out in a Janitor's Closet," Broom threw back. "I don't know how much more of you I can take."

Mop swayed knowingly. "We both know you'd be lost without me. Who else would you tell your stories to?"

* * *

"What were you doing out there?" Mop asked.

"Scary Lady wanted to do a last clean-up of the precinct before they started taking pictures of Kate," Broom replied. "She had L.T. using me and officer Harrison using Vacuum. She was using Duster herself and made all the detectives straighten up their desks."

"Where was Kate?" Mop queried.

"Someone, I guess it was someone from Biker World, said she was shiny and took her to the Ladies Room to fix it," Broom replied.

"See, I told you she had a glow," Mop taunted smugly.

Broom swished his straws. "Whatever."

"Everyone had something to say about that photo shoot, didn't they?" Mop marveled. "Rick's chair even creaked out a few sentences."

"I wasn't on the cart when the janitor put it near him, what did he say?" Broom questioned.

"That Kate looked very sexy and Rick looked proud put he was also very possessive. Whenever they weren't taking Kate's picture, he was holding on to her," Mop related.

"Yeah, Board said as as soon as they were done, he wanted to take her home," Broom added.

"I bet we could get some great stories from their loft," Mop mused wistfully. "Actually that brush Kate brings with her sees things sometimes when Kate puts it on the dresser or in the bathroom."

"What are you a stalker?" Broom accused. "It's bad enough that you watch what she and Rick do here. Now you need an informant from their home?"

"I'll take my information anywhere I can get it," Mop declared, loop clacking.

* * *

Mop's head spun on his handle. "Oooh, that was good!"

Broom sank tiredly against the wall. "From your excitement I assume you're talking about Rick and Kate?"

"Of course!" Mop replied jubilantly. "I was cleaning up the water from a leak in the Ladies Room and Kate put Brush on the shelf while she fixed her make-up. Let me tell you, that lady's bristles sing! And she knew all about what happened last night. Kate left her right on the edge of the dresser where she could see everything."

"Do I have to hear this?" Broom asked.

Mop ignored him. "She said Rick said something about sampling what wasn't for public consumption. Then he took off Kate's clothes again, slowly this time, not like he did here. She took his off the same way and then he laid her on the bed and got on top her, holding himself up, kissing her. Brush seemed to think that Rick's biceps had gotten bigger. She says he has a new trainer. She thinks it's very sexy."

"Oh Cleaner! So now there are two of you!" Broom exclaimed.

"At least Brush is honest about enjoying the show!" Mop declared before continuing with glee. "So they did that for a while and then Kate was arching her back and rubbing against that thing the human men have that gets like a handle when they want to..."

Broom leaned away. "Oh no!"

Mop was too involved to notice. "Then they rolled over and she was on top of him like - well we've both seen it. Brush said the floor was moaning and the bed was banging against the wall. It was pretty awesome. Then Kate screamed and they just lay there until finally Rick reached for a little box that controls the lights. Can you believe they have one of those? After that Brush couldn't see anymore."

Broom relaxed into the wall. "Praise Cleaner for that."

"Well I don't give a drop of detergent for what you think," Mop proclaimed. "I can't wait for the next time I get to talk to Brush."

"I suppose," Broom responded resignedly, "next time I can only hope Kate brings a comb."


	20. Chapter 20

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 20

"There was the strangest picture on Board this morning," Broom said.

"Was it sexy?" Mop asked hopefully.

Broom tightened his bristles in disgust. "No it wasn't sexy. It was like something in one of Rick's comic books. It was a human, but his whole body including his face was covered in a tight costume all red with yellow stripes. There was a symbol on the chest like two sharp things together at the bottom but separated at the top. Board said Rick called him Viper."

"Why was he on Board?" Mop inquired.

"Usual reason," Broom replied. "He's been killing people. There were pictures of his weapon too. It's a strange looking gun that shoots things that look like one side of his symbol. Board told me that Kate said they have poison in them - from a snake."

"Rick's got to love that," Mop imagined.

"Well Board said he did at first. He was sort of dancing around singing 'Our killer is a super villain,' but then when more people died, he got serious. There have been four victims so far."

"Do they know why he's killing them?" Mop wondered.

"No, but Board said he leaves a card at each murder that says 'Venom Kills,'" Broom related. "Rick thinks that outside of stating the obvious, it's some kind of message."

"What does Kate think?" Mop queried.

"She thinks the killer is crazy, but she's also is waiting for Rick to come up with some sort of a story," Broom replied.

"He will," Mop asserted, "he always does."

* * *

"Wow! It's noisy out there!" Broom exclaimed as Mop was returned to the closet.

"Yeah," Mop agreed, "the guys in the Men's Room were saying Viper killed another victim, some sort of radio big shot. Scary Lady is going crazy because now there's a lot more pressure to solve the case. Is that Rick and Kate?"

* * *

Mop's tendrils flattened despondently. "All they did was talk."

"Yeah, and they usually do that kind of talking by Board, not here," Broom added. "But Rick said something about not being able to talk out there because of politics. He said that the last victim was very right wing but some of the cops really liked him, so he didn't want to talk about why he thought he'd been killed, where they'd be overheard."

"I didn't really understand that," Mop confessed.

"I didn't get all of it either," Broom admitted, "but Rick said the man was a bully and that what he said on the radio was venomous. He was wondering if that's what the Viper meant by 'venom kills.' He thought they should look into things the other victims did or said that might have been mean like that."

"It sounded like Kate thought he had a point," Mop noted.

"Yeah, especially after he told that story about one of the kids at Alexis' school trying to kill himself after people said mean things about him on the internet," Broom agreed, "that's the thing they use on the computers and Rick uses on his phone. But Rick said he was going to go back to the loft and use his computer there to do his searching while Kate stays here. Scary Lady is making sure she approves any leads the detectives follow. Kate thinks she's afraid of what will happen if they go after the wrong person. She said the media - whatever they are - are following their every move."

* * *

"Is that Kate coming back here by herself?" Mop wondered.

"Sounds like her heels," Broom offered. "maybe she wants to call Rick in private. They said they were going to talk later."

* * *

"Well that was sad," Broom observed. "All the victims said something mean about other people. One of those people died. Rick thought that might be a connection to Viper. He called it the inciting incident. He's going to try to track it down."

"He has gotten better at that kind of thing since he took that PI course," Mop offered, "even though I hated having him gone during it."

"It wasn't his fault and Kate wasn't happy he was gone either," Broom put in, "but it seems to have worked out."

* * *

"So what did Brush tell you?" Broom asked.

Mop's tendrils flipped smugly. "So now you're interested in information from Brush? You called me a stalker last time."

Broom smacked his handle against the wall. "I'm asking about the case, not - you know. Did she know what Rick found out?"

"Well she did say that Kate fell asleep without him last night because he was still working. Then she woke up again when he finally came in. Brush couldn't see anything because it was dark. But she could hear them," Mop related. "Rick said he thought he'd found it. The first victim, David Selkirk, had a blog. He went after a lot of people. But the one who died, Mandy Druse, was a student who was advocating for free birth control. I don't know what that is and neither did Brush, but she said it sounded important. Selkirk didn't even know Mandy, but he went after her day after day, calling her a whore. That's like those ladies they bring in here for selling fun for money. That doesn't sound so bad to me, but apparently she thought it was horrible and one day she ended her life. Rick was looking for people who loved her and would have been mad enough at Selkirk for making her do it."

"Did he find any?" Broom asked.

Mop swayed forward. "He wasn't sure, he said she had a boyfriend, but there was also a father, a brother, and a roommate who was her best friend. Rick was wondering if Kate could talk Scary Lady into letting them talk to all of them."

"That could be tough considering how she feels about Rick's ideas, especially on this case," Broom mused.

"That's what Kate thought too, according to Brush," Mop said, "but Brush said it sounded like she kissed him and said she'd try."

* * *

So what did Wastebasket say?" Mop asked.

"He said Scary Lady told Kate she and Rick could talk to those people, but unless they had some hard evidence, not at the precinct and only if they were willing," Mop reported. "Also, as they were going out the door of her office, she warned Rick that she had no time on the case for any of his wild goose chases."

* * *

"Okay, you were sweeping around Board. Which one of Rick's suspects is Viper?" Mop demanded.

"Actually it was someone he and Kate found when they were out doing the questioning, a guy named Brandon Walker. He was visiting with the brother, George, but Kate thought he looked a little nervous and checked him out. Turned out he's a herpetologist."

"What's that?" Mop asked.

"An expert in snakes," Broom informed him haughtily. "So it would make sense for him to pick a character like Viper. Kate and Rick staked him out and saw him stuffing the costume and the gun in the trunk of his car. So Kate arrested him. It turned out that he and the brother were - very close. Recently they'd been talking about getting married but George was still in such pain over the death of his sister, he wanted to put it off. Brandon just got furious at David Selkirk and all the people like him who pick on people like Mandy and also like George and himself. So he decided to take them out."

"That's a sad story," Mop commented with uncharacteristic sensitivity.

"It is," Broom agreed, "but Rick said that origin stories for both superheroes and super villains usually are. Most of them have pain and anger. They just have to choose what to do with it. Then he smiled at Kate."

"What did Kate say to that?" Mop queried.

Broom rattled uncomfortably. "Nothing. But she seemed to know what he was talking about. She kissed him."


	21. Chapter 21

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 21

"I can't do it. I just can't stand it anymore," Broom moaned, his straws rubbing against the floor.

"What?" Mop asked.

"That thing! There's fur everywhere and it won't sweep up. It just sticks to the floor. Vacuum has been trying too and it's clogging up his brushes. It's just impossible. She needs to get that thing out of here."

"You mean Missy?" Mop inquired.

Broom clacked impatiently. "Of course I mean Missy. Ever since Scary Lady brought that creature in, my work's been in the deep dirt."

"Air Freshener has been complaining too. Janitor's been spraying her like crazy around that box of mess and it hasn't helped much. Then Missy got that fishy stuff Scary Lady's been feeding her all over the floor in the break room and I had to clean it up," Mop added.

"Speaking of the break room, does Espresso know anything about what she's doing here and when we're getting rid of her?" Broom wondered.

"Yeah, he said he heard Scary Lady talking to Kate. Missy belongs to Scary Lady's mother-in-law." Mop swished dramatically. "And you know what goes on between those two."

"I know they don't get along," Broom agreed. "Scary Lady's never been quiet about that."

"Anyway," Mop continued, "the mother-in-law made Scary Lady take Missy while she's off on vacation. She's flying planes while she's gone and Scary Lady said she never stopped reminding her. Scary Lady thought she'd keep Missy at her house, but Missy got into a fight with the dog and scratched his nose. He got afraid of her and wouldn't come out of his corner, so she brought Missy here. She said it was going to be another two weeks."

Broom flopped against the wall. "Those may be the longest two weeks Master Cleaner has ever seen."

* * *

"Is there a case?" Mop asked as Broom was returned from the bullpen.

"A big one," Broom declared. "It's the commissioner's nephew Jeffrey Granger. Scary Lady has called for all hands on deck. No one can take a vacation or a day off until it's solved."

"What happened?" Mop queried.

"They think it was a carjacking. He was found face down in the parking garage under his office. He'd been shot in the back of the head and his car was gone. But nobody heard a shot so they think the killer used a silencer." Broom scratched softly against the floor. "They seem to think that makes him harder to catch."

"Why?" Mop questioned.

"Because they think he might be a professional, stealing cars - or killing people - for money. That would mean no motive or connections to the victim. At least that's what Board told me Kate said."

"So what are they doing?" Mop puzzled.

"All the usual things, looking at the victim, seeing who might want to hurt Jeffrey. CSU looked for evidence in the garage, they didn't find any. Ballistics didn't find a match for the bullet either. They have a bunch of detectives sifting through records for similar cases. Scary Lady put Rick on that too, because he reads so fast," Broom added. "She sent Kate, Esposito, and Ryan to Jeffrey's apartment."

* * *

"Did you talk to Board? What did they find out about Jeffrey?" Mop asked.

"Esposito said it looked like the guy was totally broke. There were past due bills. His clothes were a wreck and his refrigerator was empty. They found a laptop though. Tory has it," Broom reported.

"Did Rick find anything in the reading Scary Lady gave him?" Mop wondered.

"He thinks he might have. He found some unsolved shootings in New York and New Jersey where a car was taken. He's looking to see what the victims have in common. I think he may be the busiest person out there. Scary Lady is even being nice to him. Lotion said Scary Lady brought Rick coffee," Broom marveled.

"Wow, that is a new one," Mop commented. "Is Kate with him?"

Broom fluttered his straws. "The only juicy detail I can give you is that she came over and rubbed his shoulders a little bit. Then it looked like she was headed for the conference room. Ooh, looks like somebody needs you."

* * *

"So did you hear anything?" Broom asked.

Mop swished tendrils still smelling of coffee. "I didn't but Espresso did. Tory and Kate were talking in the break room. They were both desperate for coffee and Tory doesn't like people to bring it into Tech. Tory went through Jeffrey's laptop and found all sorts of gambling sites. That's why he was so broke. Kate said his financials were a disaster too. All his credit cards were maxed out. I'm not sure what that means but it sounds bad. She thinks someone killed him and took the car because someone lent him money he didn't pay back and it was the only thing he had that was worth anything. She said Rick is looking at the victims he found of similar shootings to see if they were gamblers or owed money. I say after all his work, she's going to owe him more than a shoulder rub."

"Of course you'd think of that!" Broom exclaimed, flicking his bristles in exasperation.

"Hey, they've been too busy to give us any action. I can hope can't I?" Mop retorted.

Broom just clacked his loop.

* * *

"I hear some excitement out there. What happened?" Broom questioned as Mop was returned.

"Besides a toilet overflowing in the Ladies Room?" Mop asked, flicking a drop of water from his tendril.

"Yes," Broom replied, swaying against the wall.

"Kate was talking to Karpowski. She sounded kind of proud, actually," Mop offered, twirling his handle. "She said Rick found several shooting victims who were gamblers. He and Ryan went through their financials and found money received from the same account. They think it might belong to the guy who lent them money and ordered the shootings. They're trying to get into the account now to see if money was sent to another account to hire the shooter. If they can, they're going to go after the owners of both accounts. Kate said she'd haul them in and see who flips first."

"Well if anyone can make someone flip in interrogation, Kate can." Broom declared. "I've seen it."

* * *

"So what's going on now?" Broom demanded. "Besides whatever you just mopped up."

"What I mopped up is interesting," Mop replied smugly. "Scary Lady said the commissioner is coming to congratulate the precinct on solving the case. She said they nailed the shooter and the guy who hired him. They closed all those other cases Rick found too. But I think she must be nervous. She spilled a bunch of milk. She was using me herself."

"I thought that was her hand reaching for you," Broom responded. "It did look a little shaky. There's a lot of commotion out there. Maybe that's the commissioner coming in now."

* * *

Mop's tendrils sprawled. "Oh Master Cleaner! What did Board say happened?"

"It was Missy!" Broom declared. "The commissioner came into the bullpen to tell everyone what a good job they did. He was shaking Scary Lady's hand when Missy rubbed against his legs. He started sneezing and then he got red blotches on his face. Scary Lady had to call the paramedics, those guys with the crosses on their sleeves. After they carried the commissioner out, Scary Lady screamed she'd had it. She didn't care what her mother-in-law said. She gathered up Missy and had a uniform carry her stuff. Rick asked her what she was going to do and she told him Missy would spend the next two weeks in a cat hotel."

"Then what happened?" Mop prodded.

"Well," Broom replied, shifting on his bristles, "Board may have been exaggerating a little, but he said after Scary Lady left, everyone in the bullpen started laughing. Then Rick announced that drinks at the Old Haunt would be on the house."

A/N I'll be traveling and I don't know what I'll be able accomplish. I will be spending most of a day in the Montreal Airport waiting for a co-worker to arrive, so I can probably get a lot of writing done. As to posting, I don't know. I'm putting this up early, then I'll see what I can do about the next one.


	22. Chapter 22

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 22

"I don't understand what Rick is doing," Mop said.

"What do you mean?" Broom inquired.

"He's setting up a Christmas tree in the break room," Mop explained, "and he's making hot chocolate. He splashed some. That's why I was there."

"Well that's nice, isn't it? Broom responded.

"Sure," Mop agreed, "but it's the wrong time of year. Calendar says it's July. Christmas is supposed to be in December. Why would he be doing it now?"

"Wasn't last Christmas when Rick got banned from the precinct?" Broom wondered. "Maybe he's doing it now because he wasn't here then. It would be like him."

"That's true," Mop mused. "He loves a good time and does it his own way. Wow, do year hear that? It's Christmas music and it's coming this way. Ooh, that sounds like Rick and Kate."

* * *

Broom's handle swayed. "Well that was really nice. The thing Rick gave Kate to put around her neck was really pretty."

Mop twisted his tendrils. "Who cares about that? I liked what Rick called his present. I thought maybe she was just going to kiss him but when she started to unbutton his shirt..."

Broom scratched the floor in annoyance. "Is it really necessary for you to describe it?"

"You are a killjoy!" Mop exclaimed. "Rick certainly got into what she was doing fast enough, brushing the hair from her face so he could kiss her. They were both into it. The door was rattling and the shelves were too. I thought soap dispenser was going to fall over."

"I don't want to hear this," Broom moaned, his straws twitching.

"Yeah, well I know you saw it anyway," Mop returned.

* * *

"What were you doing in the break room?" Mop asked.

"Rick handed out Christmas cookies to all the cops and there were crumbs - lots of crumbs," Broom explained.

"The cops must have liked them," Mop offered. "Those guys don't usually turn down free food."

"They certainly don't," Broom agreed, "but there were a couple of them from downstairs who claimed they could do better. Actually one of them used to date Kate, a guy named Demming. He claimed that he had a recipe from his grandmother that was unbeatable. Then there was another guy named Hooker who says he's a gourmet baker. He thinks he can bake better cookies than Rick."

"Oh, I know him," Mop realized. "He comes up here to use Espresso a lot. He looks like he likes cookies. He could stand to lose a few pounds. What did Rick say?"

Broom clacked his loop. "Rick is always Rick. He challenged Demming and Hooker to a cookie bake-off, He gave them two days to bake. Then he wanted to set up a blind taste test and let the cops vote, but Scary Lady came in while he was talking about it and told him there was no way he was going to do that in her precinct. So Rick said he'd set it up at the Old Haunt and let some of the customers judge."

"What did Kate think of the contest?" Mop queried.

"She didn't say," Broom replied, "but she was playing with the thing around her neck and smiling. Then Ryan came in and said there was a body, so she and Rick left.

* * *

Broom's straws fluttered in a sigh as he sank against the wall. "That was a busy night. The break room wasn't the only place with crumbs. I think all the cops must have taken Rick's cookies to their desks to eat. There was that shiny red and green sticky stuff and that white powder all over the place. That was hard to get up. The janitor had to use Vacuum a lot."

"But did you see the Board?" Mop asked excitedly. "There were pictures of the new victim and it was weird. It looked like he'd been frosted, like the cupcakes L.T. likes. There was a swirl of brown stuff on his head and there was a round red thing on top of it. Board said his name is Buff Goldbaum and that Rick said he's famous for his baking. Rick joked that someone turned him into one of his creations."

"Why would someone do that?" Broom wondered.

"Rick said that there was a lot of competition between the bakers. He was wondering if one of them took him out," Mop offered.

"I hope it isn't that way between Rick and Demming and Hooker," Broom worried. "I wouldn't want to see someone turn Rick into a cookie."

"They wouldn't dare," Mop reminded him. "I don't think any of the cops here want to tangle with Kate. Anyway, she thinks it might be something more personal. She says it usually is. I think she's going to work on that while Rick bakes. He says he has a lot of work to do to before the bake-off."

* * *

"What did Lotion say?" Mop asked.

"He said he talked to Brush. Kate put her purse on the desk and Brush fell out. She was pretty upset," Broom related. "There was a problem in the loft last night. She said she could still feel it in her bristles."

Mop's tendrils splayed as he leaned forward. "Feel what?"

"According to Lotion," Broom relayed, "she said there was a fire in the oven. Rick was baking cookies, but Food Central was running a memorial marathon for Buff Goldbaum and Rick got caught up watching it. Brush told Lotion there was smoke everywhere and the round things in the ceiling were screaming. Rick had to call someone to turn them off."

"So what did Kate think?" Mop asked anxiously. "did she get mad at him?"

Broom shook his bristles. "Brush didn't think so. She said Kate was laughing and teasing Rick that he should compete in barbecue since he already had the smoke."

"So what is Rick going to do about the cookies?" Mop questioned.

"He still has another night, Broom recalled. "I'm sure he'll manage. I haven't been near Board. I wonder if they figured out who turned Buff Goldbaum into a cupcake."

* * *

"That was any easy night, Mop observed.

"Well with all the sweeping up Vacuum and I did after the cookies, it's no wonder things were still pretty clean," Broom pointed out. "And it was nice to get a chance to talk to everyone. Board said Lanie found some DNA in the frosting on Buff Goldbaum, as if someone put a finger in it and tasted it. She doesn't have a match, but she says it's a woman. Kate is chasing down women who might have a motive. She thought maybe an angry lover. Rick is still going for a competitor. There was a partial print too, but Lanie doesn't have a match for that either. She has unis looking through trash of women who know Goldbaum. She's hoping she'll get lucky."

"I'm always hoping she'll get lucky," Mop put in.

Broom banged against a shelf. "Don't I know it!"

* * *

"So what did you hear in the Ladies Room?" Broom asked.

"Well it turned out both Kate and Rick were right," Mop reported.

"How did that happen?" Broom questioned.

"The killer was a former lover, but also a competitor on the baking shows, named Berna Batch," Mop replied. "They broke up because Goldbaum was way more interested in the stacking of layers on a cake than he was in how stacked she was. But that also made him terrific at his job and he beat her almost all the time. Then they were on a show about cupcakes. Berna really thought hers were better and she deserved to win, but he had some kind of special frosting the judges loved. From what I heard, Kate got frosting fingerprints out of a dumpster behind Berna's bakery. When she told Berna she had her for murder, Berna confessed. She said Buff had frosted her one too many times, so she frosted him."

"Did you hear anything about Rick's cookie bake-off?" Broom wondered.

"Uh huh, but in the Men's Room not the Ladies Room," Mop responded. "The guys said Rick gave the judges so much beer they wouldn't know how anything tasted. They declared it a draw. Rick said he's going to try again next Christmas."

"So did Kate say anything about that?" Broom inquired.

"Not that I heard," Mop answered. "But one of the guys heard her talking about giving him something better to do than watching baking competitions.


	23. Chapter 23

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 23

The shelves vibrated, shaking orange drops loose from the soap dispensers. "Wow, Kate is really mad!" Mop observed as the angry detective slammed the door of the Janitor's Closet behind her.

"It sounded like the new guidelines for how detectives are supposed to dress if they're not undercover didn't make her happy," Broom agreed. "She said they create another uniform and won't allow her to get the effect she wants when questioning suspects. It looked like Rick was trying his best to make her feel better, but when she wasn't looking, he was smiling a little that she was so angry at the rule."

"Well it's always seemed to me that what Rick likes best about her clothes is taking them off of her," Mop remarked. "Why would he care what she wears?"

"You know, for someone with your intense interest in what humans do together, you are really clueless," Broom told him. "There are some clothes that women wear that make men want to take them off. That's the whole idea. They call it being sexy."

"Why you old faker!" Mop exclaimed. "You love watching every minute of what they do together - and I don't mean talking - at least as much as I do, or you wouldn't even know that. But I think what Kate was really upset about was Scary Lady's rules about shoes. She really likes them with those long sticks at the back. Rick even teases her about it. I don't think those are to make Rick want to pull them off her, although he seems to enjoy it. I think she just likes them. She likes being taller than the men - at least Ryan and Esposito. Rick's taller than she is even when she's wearing them, and she seems to like being up closer to the men she likes."

"That may be true," Broom mused. "She does like tall men. Demming was tall and Josh was even taller than Rick, but I think there are other things about Rick she likes."

Mop's tendrils flailed. "Tell me about it! She can't stop touching some of them when they come back here. But what do you think she's going to do about the new rules?"

"Well if I know Kate," Broom opined, "she'll follow them - at least until she can find some way to get rid of them or around them. But she won't give up until she finds a way."

* * *

"Did you see Kate this morning?" Mop asked.

"No, Broom said. "I haven't been out of here. You know that. Was she somewhere you were sopping something up?"

"The break room, usual spray of water on the floor from someone who doesn't know how to use Espresso. Kate was dressed exactly like one of the men. She had the same pants and jacket, even the same kind of shirt and shoes. Of course Kate had much bigger bumps under the shirt. Scary Lady came in and saw her and I thought she was about to explode," Mop related. "You know that big blue line that comes out on her neck when she's mad?"

"I do," Broom acknowledged. "It usually means trouble."

Mop's tendrils twirled merrily. "While I think this time Kate was ready. I'm thinking she put on those clothes to make Scary Lady mad. She said she'd been in her father's law library and dug up a law. She pretty much shoved it in Scary Lady's face. She said Scary Lady had no legal right to tell her what to wear unless it directly affected her job or her health and safety. She wanted to wear whatever it took to achieve the right result when questioning a suspect and she wanted her high heels, the shoes with the big sticks, back."

"What did Scary Lady say to that?" Broom queried.

"She threw it right back at Kate. She said the rules affected all three because Kate couldn't run as fast in high heels and she couldn't run safely," Mop reported.

"You know," Broom mused, "I hate to admit it, but Scary Lady could be right about that. Guys around here have talked about it before, even to Rick. So what could Kate say?"

"She told Scary lady she was going to prove that she could do her job fine in her heels," Mop replied, "She said she was going to stage a race. She said she could outrun and outfight people the same height, even in her heels."

"Sounds like something Rick would do," Broom observed. "I think he must be rubbing off off on her."

"Mop's tendrils twisted. "It would be hard to avoid that."

Broom smacked his bristles against the floor. "That isn't what I meant and you know it. I mean the kind of solutions he finds for things, not to mention making Scary Lady so mad. I wish I could see the race."

"I think Kate will be doing it here at the precinct. If she sets up the course in the parking lot she'll probably use the orange cones. They can tell us what happens," Mop speculated hopefully.

* * *

"So what did the cones say?" Broom asked.

"Oh they had a great time," Mop answered, tendrils flying. "Kate got three other women and a man, all in shoes that were regulation according to Scary Lady's rules. Kate ran in high heels, red ones. Cones heard some of the male cops whispering about how sexy they were but that she'd probably break an ankle."

"Did she?" Broom asked.

"Oh no," Mop replied. "She was fine. Scary Lady insisted on timing the race herself and she stood at the finish line to make sure the winner broke the tape. Rick brought a giant picture of a bad guy running away and put it behind the finish line. I think the racers were supposed to be trying to catch it. Then Scary Lady had the lieutenant from downstairs start the race by shouting go. Cones said that Kate got off to a slower start than some of the others, but she caught up fast. They were making clunking sounds on the ground, you know like some of the people with heavy shoes do in the hall here. Kate passed them all."

"Whoa! Scary Lady must have really been mad at that," Broom declared.

"Cones said she was," Mop related, "but she admitted Kate had proved her point. She announced the rules were suspended. Oh, isn't that the click of Kate's high heels I hear now? She must be happy to have them back."

"Yeah, and Rick's with her. He sounds cheerful," Broom replied.

* * *

Broom's straws swished. "Well that was really nice,"

"I can't believe I'm hearing that from you," Mop marveled.

Broom rattled in disgust. "Not that. That just gets your tendrils in a bunch. I meant afterward."

"You mean when he rubbed her feet for her?" Mop asked.

"Yeah, she really relaxed, like a lot of pain was going away. And he never once mentioned her high heels."


	24. Chapter 24

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 24

"Sergeant Murphy is retiring," Mop announced as he was returned to his place in the Janitor's Closet.

"Well that's going to be a big change," Broom declared. "He was here when I first was brought here and the old Sergeant's Chair told me Murphy's been here ever since he could remember. Did you hear why?"

"New Sergeant's Chair told me that he heard two reasons," Mop reported. "One was that he put in his thirty years, but he thought the more important one is Murphy's wife isn't well and he wants to spend some time with her and take care of her."

"That's too bad. Did you hear if they're going to do anything for him?" Broom asked. "They usually have a party or something when someone retires."

"I didn't hear anything," Mop replied, "but I bet Rick will come up with something. He's really good with parties."

"He is," Broom agreed. "If he's working on something, Espresso will know. Rick always talks about that kind of thing in the break room."

* * *

"So what did Espresso say?" Mop asked.

"He said Rick is making plans, but not just for a party. He's doing an auction to raise money to fight what's making Mrs. Murphy sick. He was talking about asking all the celebrities he knows to donate things to sell," Broom reported. "Espresso said he was really excited and making a lot of calls on his cell. He also told Kate they had to have another poker game so he could twist the arms of his writer friends to give to the cause."

"What did Scary Lady say about all that?" Mop queried. "It's not like she's crazy about most of Rick's schemes."

"Well Espresso said she liked this one," Broom said. "She had some coffee with Rick and even offered to help. She says she likes Murphy and she wants to do something for his wife."

"So when's all this supposed to happen?" Mop asked. "Something like that would take a while to put together, even for Rick."

"You would think," Broom agreed, "but you know Rick. When he wants to get something done he'll do anything to push it along. Espresso said he was talking about hiring an event planner to put it together. Scary Lady thought that was fine as long as he wasn't spending N.Y.P.D. money. She said as much as she wanted to help, there was nothing in the budget, even for a worthwhile cause. Rick assured her that it was on him. So I think things should be happening pretty soon. The planner is supposed to be here tomorrow."

* * *

"So did you get a look at the planner?" Mop asked.

"Oh yeah," Broom replied. "Rick put a huge box of doughnuts in the break room this morning and there were lots of crumbs to sweep. Rick called her Margot. She's kind of tiny for a human female and talks very fast. I had trouble catching all of it but Espresso helped fill me in. Margot didn't think there was enough room here in the precinct to hold the auction, so Rick offered the Old Haunt. She said she'd have to see it and he told her he'd take her over there, but they talked a lot here first. She wanted an auctioneer, but Rick said Martha could do it. She's very good at that sort of thing. He also said if she was involved it would help her get stuff to sell from her theater friends. Then they talked about selling alcohol. Of course The Old Haunt is set up for that and Rick said he could donate the proceeds from the drinks that were sold. They also talked about some kind of police theme. Then Margot said she couldn't go any further without seeing the Old Haunt and she and Rick left.

"How about Kate?' Mop asked.

"I don't know," Broom answered. "She wasn't in the break room when they were talking."

* * *

"So what did you hear?" Broom asked.

"Kate was talking to Karpowski. She's really proud of what Rick is doing. She hates being in the precinct doing paperwork while he's running around working on the auction though. She's known Murphy a long time and she really likes him." Mop fluttered his tendrils. "But she also told Karpowski that Rick said if she was at his side for the event, it would be a roaring success. She was twisting her hair when she said it. That usually means fun time for those two."

Broom clacked his loop against the wall. "Of course you'd think of that! Whatever happens always come down to that for you, doesn't it?"

"Hey," Mop protested, "I'm all for good causes. But's what's wrong with me having some fun?"

Broom leaned against the wall in resignation.

* * *

"So what did Brush tell you about the auction?" Broom inquired.

"She said she was in Kate's purse the whole time so she couldn't see anything, but she could hear," Mop related.

"There was music while everyone arrived. She said Kate called it ragtime. Then Martha was talking all about the items they were selling, making a very big deal out of everything to try to get people to bid more money. There was a lot of stuff: signed books, things from plays, clothes Martha's friend's donated. There were sports things too. Esposito bid on some of that. The thing the cops got most excited about was a script from Heat Wave signed by Natalie Rhodes. Rick signed it too, but I don't think the cops cared about that.

"Kate was telling Rick that he was donating a lot of booze, but he was happy about it. At the end Scary Lady made a speech about how wonderful it was that the Twelfth Precinct could come together as a family. Then Murphy made a little speech about how he loved the Twelfth and how it had been his home. Then he thanked everybody. His wife thanked everybody too. Brush said she thought she could hear people sniffling. After that, Rick announced that it was last call at the bar and he and Kate went back to the loft. Then the really good stuff started."

"You don't really have to tell me about that," Broom said, his straws twitching.

Mop twirled his handle mischievously. "But telling you about it is the best part. Brush said Kate took her out of her purse and used her before putting her on the dresser. Then she changed into something Rick liked - a lot. Rick took off everything except his t-shirt and his shorts. Then they kissed, really long, until Rick pushed Kate down on the bed. He took what she was wearing off her and she took his shirt and shorts off him and they kept kissing until Kate reached for the thing that turned off the lights. Brush couldn't see anymore after that, but she said it sounded really good."

"Are you finished now?" Broom asked, scratching impatiently against the floor.

"For now," Mop told him, "but this morning Kate told Rick that she hoped they could be together again more today."

Broom's straws rustled as he settled against the wall. "I can only hope she meant solving a murder together."

Mop twisted his tendrils. "Dream on!"


	25. Chapter 25

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 25

"What's a stalker?" Mop asked. "That sounded really scary."

"Yeah, when Kate gets that look on her face you know something bad is going on," Broom agreed. "The stalkers I've heard about are people who follow other people around when they don't want them to. Sometimes they hurt them. It's a bad thing and Kate said Rick has one. She wants to put a security detail on Rick and have Tory help, but Scary Lady won't let her because there hasn't been an actual threat of harm - whatever that is. So Kate said Rick has to stay with her all the time because she has the gun."

"Nothing wrong about that part," Mop commented. "Seeing those two together is the best thing around here."

"I doubt that she meant together in the way that you're thinking," Broom replied disdainfully. "It would be hard for her to protect him if they're doing - that."

"Oh dirt pile!" Mop exclaimed. "You're always trying to ruin my fun. But if they did some in here and locked the door nobody will bother them. No one was bothering them just now."

"But they didn't make any fun for you either," Broom pointed out triumphantly. "I think Kate's more worried about catching whomever it is. She said the stalker sent emails to Rick's website saying she was watching Rick."

"So the stalker is a she," Mop reiterated. "That certainly didn't make Kate happy. Especially the part where the stalker said she was with Rick while he was missing and she would do anything to be with him again."

"It sounded like Kate might be the one in danger," Broom mused. "No other woman can be with Rick unless Kate is gone."

"Well at least they're going to stay here as much as possible," Mop opined. "It is a building full of cops. What the dirt pile was that?"

"Sounded like an explosion outside," Broom replied, his handle swaying anxiously. "I hear a lot of people going down the back stairs. Oh Master Cleaner! Someone just fired a gun in the bullpen."

* * *

"Did you find out what happened?" Mop demanded anxiously.

"Board told me as much as he could," Broom related. "After the explosion went off outside, a lot of the cops left the building, or at least the bullpen. Then a lady came in here with a gun, wanting Rick to go with her. She pointed the gun at Kate. Kate didn't even have a chance to go for her own gun, but she told Rick not to go. He said he couldn't let her get shot again, so he went. So now everyone is trying to figure out who the woman is and where she took Rick."

Mop swayed on his tendrils. "Kate must be going crazy."

"Board hasn't seen that much of her," Broom reported. "Scary Lady won't let her work on the case. She said she's too emotionally involved. She sent her home with a security detail."

Mop clacked his loop. "Oh so now Scary Lady comes up with a security detail! Nice going!"

"She does have to follow the rules," Broom reminded him. "I don't think she liked how things came out. Well anyway they think the woman who took Rick must be his stalker. Tory tried to find out where the messages came from to identify the suspect, but they were from an internet cafe. I guess that's a place where people drink coffee and go on the internet, kind of like the break room sometimes. Anyway, Esposito went down there to show a picture of the woman they got off the video in the precinct. They're going to try to find out who she is. They also have unis all over the area around the cafe trying to see if anyone saw Rick. Ryan has been looking at all the traffic video from around the precinct to see if he can find a car the woman might have taken Rick away in."

Mop's tendrils flew straight out. "Sounds like something is happening out there."

"Did you hear anything about Rick?" Broom asked as Mop was returned from cleaning a mess in the Men's Room.

"More like about Kate," Mop replied. "Ryan was in there. He said Kate couldn't just do nothing, even if Scary Lady did send her home. She put out a call to all of Rick's followers. Ryan was talking about Facebook and Twitter and some other things. Kate got a picture of the woman who took Rick from Esposito and posted it. Then she asked anyone who'd seen the woman or Rick to let her know where and when and send a picture if they could. She got some answers and sent them to Ryan. He and Esposito are going to check them out."

"Well good for Kate. I knew she'd think of something," Broom asserted.

* * *

"So did Ryan and Esposito find Rick?" Mop asked as the Janitor stuck Broom back on the cart.

"Well sort of," Broom answered. "According to Board, they talked to a clerk at a liquor store who thought he'd seen the woman, but he wasn't sure because she had a scarf and sunglasses. But she came back to buy a bottle of Sancerre, the favorite wine of Nikki Heat and Jameson Rook. The clerk called them. The woman had used a debit card at the ATM in the store before she bought the wine, so Ryan had Tory track it.

"They went to find her, but it turned out Rick had suggested to her they might share the wine if she got some. She'd duct taped Rick to a chair before she left, but he'd practiced getting out of tape for one of his books. By the time Ryan and Esposito got there, Rick had taken her by surprise when she came back with the wine, and taped her her up. He was already on the phone to Kate when Ryan and Esposito came through the door."

"So he could have gotten away all by himself?" Mop wondered.

"It sounded like it," Broom confirmed.

"So did Ryan and Esposito bring Rick back here?" Mop queried.

"No. Ryan and Esposito called Scary Lady and she said it would be all right if Kate took him home. Kate wanted to take care of him and let Alexis and Martha see he's okay. He's supposed to give his statement to Ryan and Esposito in the morning," Broom replied.

Mop twisted his tendrils. "Ooh, I hope I get to talk to Brush when they show up tomorrow. I bet Kate is giving him a great welcome home tonight. I want all the details."

Broom swayed perilously close to falling off the cart. "I have absolutely no doubt that's what you want."


	26. Chapter 26

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 26

"Well that was disappointing," Mop whined, the metal frame of his head rubbing against the wall.

"Well they had to talk about what Rick's stalker said. What did they call her?" Broom asked

"May Becray," Mop responded. "So do you believe she was with Rick while he was missing?"

Broom clacked his loop against a shelf, with a metallic ring. "How could she have been? Rick wouldn't be with a woman besides Kate. For Cleaner's sake, the man stayed with her when she was standing on a bomb. He wouldn't betray her like that."

"Still she knew about the holes in the boat," Mop mused. "Kate said that was never released to the media."

"Rick said fans have ways of finding things out. He said she could have talked to someone on the Coast Guard ship that found him. Remember," Broom insisted, "she didn't know about the bullet graze and when Rick asked her, she couldn't tell him where his tattoo is."

Mop twirled a tendril. "But you know, don't you? You only pretend you don't watch them. It's not like May could have missed it if she was with him. It is right there on his hip. You are right about one thing. She was never with Rick. At least not like that."

"I really think Rick would like to know if she really does know anything about that time though," Broom remarked. "So would Kate. Ever since Rick started having dreams about when he was gone, he's really wanted to find out more about it. But he said he and Kate can't really ask May any more about it while she's here, because everything is recorded. I think they're actually hoping she'll make bail. Rick was talking about bailing her out himself, or putting up the ten percent to some bondsman he knows who'll keep his mouth shut."

"Yeah, but Kate's really uneasy about having May running around where she might be able to get to Rick again. She was talking about getting her father to come in as May's lawyer so that they could use him to get an unrecorded discussion," Mop reminded him. "That would be nice. I've never seen Kate's father. I'd like to. Espresso says he seemed pretty nice, even if he does like plain black coffee."

"I doubt you'd see him anyway. I don't think they'd talk anywhere you mop up. It probably wouldn't even be here," Broom opined. "They might even send her where they send crazy people, that place called Bellevue. Scary Lady is pretty big on having people who are acting strange evaluated there."

* * *

"So what did Brush tell you?" Mop asked when Broom was returned from sweeping up the muffin fragments around the board.

"Well she didn't give me the details you like to get," Broom told him, drawing himself up on his bristles. "But she did say they talked about May for a long time in bed last night before they went to sleep. Rick used some of the things he learned from being a PI to trace her movements during the time he was gone. She never left New York. Kate said there was a closet in May's apartment that was like some creepy shrine to Rick, like the one the serial killer who thought Kate was really Nikki Heat had. Rick didn't see it when she held him prisoner. The cops found it later. She had all kinds of articles about the time he was gone, and pictures of the boat he was found in. As near as the doctors at Bellevue could figure out she got so involved with the story that she thought she was actually there, but she wasn't. Rick was really disappointed. He'd really been hoping to get some information from her. Kate wanted to make him feel better but she was really concerned about some other things."

"What could be more important than making Rick feel better?" Mop questioned, his tendrils twining.

Broom sank against the wall. "She was worried about keeping him and everyone else at the precinct safe. She said that if someone like May, whose mind wasn't working right, could manage to set off a distraction like an explosion outside the precinct so that she could get in with a gun, they really needed to change the procedures around here."

"That sounds like something Scary Lady would say," Mop remarked.

"I guess it does," Broom agreed. "Kate certainly has been talking a lot about being a captain. Maybe she's starting to think like one. Anyway, she said she was going to talk to Scary Lady about the issue."

* * *

"So what did Espresso hear?" Broom inquired when Mop was returned from cleaning up a Chinese food drop.

"He said Kate and Scary Lady were talking about the whole safety thing, like Brush said Kate was talking to Rick about it in bed," Mop reported. "Scary Lady said she had been thinking about exactly the same issue and she was pleased that Kate had brought it to her. She said that Kate was really showing promise for being a good future captain. So then Scary Lady said she was going to put together a team to analyze the security weaknesses in the precinct and put Kate in charge of it."

"So what did Kate say?" Broom asked.

"According to Espresso she just thanked Scary Lady and they both went back to work." Mop swayed on his tendrils. "That sounds like Rick and Kate coming."

* * *

"Wow, Rick is really proud that Kate's going to head up the security team." Mop offered, swishing against the floor.

"Yeah but she's still worried about him at home, Broom added. "She said in their history together they've found several obsessed fans, two of whom were dangerous. She also reminded him that both 3XK and Sophia Turner got into the loft. She thought he should hire a security consultant about his safety, especially when she's not with him."

"Well she was certainly with him this morning," Mop rejoiced, twirling his handle. "Maybe she was making up for what they didn't do last night. She had her hand on his tattoo a lot, like she was double-checking it was there. Of course he loves hers too. He tastes that strawberry on her breast as if it's real. That really gets her going."

Broom fell against the shelving, missing the edge and landing against the cleaning solution with a clunk. "Will you stop! I was here. I don't need a recap. Can you please talk about something else?"

"Sure," Mop agreed. "Have you seen L.T.'s new girlfriend? She's almost as tall as he is. I saw them making out in the hall when someone was bringing me back from cleaning up after that busted water bottle. It was like steam rising from the top of a …."

"In Master Cleaner's name just shut up!" Broom slid to the floor as Mop's tendrils twirled in gleeful triumph.


	27. Chapter 27

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 27

"Did you see him?" Mop asked excitedly.

"You mean the green guy?" Broom inquired.

"Yeah, of course," Mop replied, "they had him in the Men's Room and Esposito was trying to scrub the green off him, but he couldn't. Except for the people we see on Halloween, he has to be the weirdest human we've had in here - and that's saying a lot. "

"Well that's just it," Broom explained, "he doesn't think he's human. Vacuum was in the corner of the lounge when Rick was talking to him and told me about it. The guy said his name is Pergon and he's from a planet called Speculous in the Andromeda Galaxy."

"Did he say how he got here?" Mop queried. "Does he have a ship somewhere?"

"Oh, Vacuum said Rick was very anxious to ask him about that. If there was a ship, Rick wanted to see it. But Pergon said he traveled by something he called quantum entanglement. I have no idea what that means and neither did Vacuum, but Rick seemed to. He started talking about transporters and was practically dancing around the room. Then Kate came in with Doctor Holloway and Rick and Kate both had to leave while Hollloway talked to Pergon."

"Why is Pergon at the precinct anyway?" Mop questioned. "Do they think he did something wrong?"

"No," Broom replied. "He was a witness to a murder. He actually ran into the street calling for help and someone called 911. When the cops arrived they didn't know what to do with him. They didn't know if they could believe anything he said, because he was acting so crazy. But then Kate and Rick came to the scene and Rick talked to him and believed him - at least about what he saw. He talked Kate into using the description Pergon gave her and they caught the murderer. He still had the gun and some stuff he stole from the victim, so Kate is pretty sure they can get a conviction without Pergon's testimony. That's a good thing because Kate didn't think a jury would ever believe someone like Pergon. But now they have to figure out what to do with him. That's why Holloway's here."

Mop fluttered his tendrils. "Ooh, Rick and Kate are coming."

* * *

"Well that was interesting," Broom observed.

Mop twined his tendrils. "I'll say!"

Broom ruffled his straws. "Not that part! I mean Rick wanting to keep Pergon. Holloway said Pergon wasn't a danger to himself or others, so there was no reason to hold him, but Pergon told Rick he has no place to go until he's called back. Rick wanted to take him back to the loft so he could have his very own alien, but Kate wanted no part of it."

"But then Rick talked Kate into agreeing to let Rick put Pergon up in a hotel until he has a chance to talk to him for a while," Mop continued. "He was very persuasive."

"Well what could she say?" Broom wondered. "Rick did say he wanted to use Pergon for character in a book. That is his job. How could she object?"

Mop swayed on his tendrils. "Still he was very grateful. I think the temperature rose in here just from that kiss. And then when he pulled her against him like that and she just sort of melted into him, that was so good. I think some of my tendrils started to unravel."

Broom clacked his loop. "You're unraveling alright. But you know, even if Rick does want to use Pergon as a character, I think he really just didn't want to see him out on the street. I think Kate knew that. She understands what a big heart Rick has."

"Well listen to you! Under all those bristles you're a romantic! Face it," Mop insisted. "Rick is being kind. Kate loves him for it and that warms your straws."

Broom settled against the wall in silent embarrassment.

* * *

"So what did you hear?" Mop asked as Broom was returned from the break room. "Were Kate and Rick in there? What happened with Pergon?"

"Well I didn't get all of it," Broom admitted, "But Espresso did. Kate was there, talking to Esposito, but Rick wasn't. Pergon just disappeared from the hotel and Rick is out trying to find out where he went. The hotel said Pergon ordered some really strange food, all raw. He had all raw vegetables and fresh fruit for dinner last night."

"That's not so strange," Mop commented, "we've had people around here who eat like that."

"Yeah," Broom agreed, "but then he wanted six raw eggs for breakfast. Espresso said Kate really made a face at that one. Then when someone went up to clean his room, all the cords had been unplugged from the wall and he was gone. So Rick went to talk to anyone in the hotel who might have seen him and showed his picture around the area. He figured someone had to notice someone green walking around."

"Well it is New York," Mop pointed out. "They don't pay a lot of attention to weird. Remember the guy dressed a zombie who could just walk down the street? Rick had so much fun with that."

Broom swayed thoughtfully. "True. Still, someone should notice Pergon. Rick is probably worried about him."

* * *

"Wow! Rick looked exhausted," Broom observed.

"Well he would be," Mop offered. "He did say he was out all day looking for Pergon. He talked to every member of the hotel staff he could, asked at all the stores around the hotel, even went up the Hayden Planetarium to see if Pergon went there looking for space stuff. He put out a call to all his followers but he said he got back a lot of rude spam - that and a few tweets from others claiming to be from Speculous who wanted to meet Pergon. He didn't know what else to do. He was hoping Kate would have some ideas, but she didn't."

"It was nice of her to let him put his feet up in her lap like that, thought," Broom noted.

"I suppose so," Mop agreed grudgingly, "but I was hoping for something a little more fun than that."

Broom rattted his bristles. "Of course you were. This may be the last we hear of the Pergon story, though. "Maybe he came to his senses, got the green off somehow and went back to wherever he belonged."

Mop flattened his tendrils. "How boring can you get?

* * *

"Did you hear what Board told me?" Broom asked as the janitor parked the cart in the corner of the bullpen."

Mop's head clanked against his handle. "No. I was talking to Lotion. What?"

Broom's handle twirled in its hole. "He said Rick got a text from Pergon. Tory tried to trace it, but it seemed to have just appeared from nowhere. Pergon said that he had been called home and thanked Rick for his hospitality. He also told him to watch the sky tonight, that there would be a present for him."

"So was Rick going to do it?" Mop asked.

"I guess so," Broom responded. "Board said Rick offered to cook Kate a special dinner if she'd go up to the roof with him. Board said she rolled her eyes but agreed."

Mop's tendrils made circles in the air. "I wonder what's going to happen."

* * *

"So what did Brush say?" Broom queried.

"She said that when Rick was lying in bed he couldn't stop talking about the meteor shower. He'd checked and there hadn't been one predicted, but it happened anyway, and it was beautiful. He got video of it on his phone and he's going to show everyone today, especially Esposito."

"So what did Brush tell you Kate said?" Broom wondered.

Mop's loop flew upward as his handle twirled. "She said," he reported smugly, "that if Rick would stop talking they could make some shooting stars together."

Broom's straws fluttered upwards. "Oh no!"

"Oh yes!" Mop taunted, "and that's exactly what they did."


	28. Chapter 28

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth:

Chapter 28

"It's awfully quiet out there," Mop noticed. "No one is laughing at jokes or anything."

"Yeah," Broom agreed. "Something has happened. Is that Rick and Kate coming? No, it's Doctor Lady Lanie and Esposito."

"That's strange," Mop offered. "They haven't been in here together for a long time. I wonder what's going on."

"That was about Scary Lady, wasn't it?" Mop asked. "It sounded bad."

Broom's handle swayed. "It was. Lanie was telling Esposito that Scary Lady, maybe we should call her Captain Gates now, was taking a flying lesson. Something went wrong and the airplane came down. Captain Gates is alive, but she was really hurt, something about severe head trauma. Lanie thinks she'll be gone for a long time, if she comes back at all. That must be why it's so quiet out there. Even if they don't like Captain Gates, you know how it is when something happens to a cop."

"I do," Mop agreed. "It makes all the cops sad. I think that's Rick and Kate coming now."

* * *

"So Kate is going to be in charge," Broom recapitulated.

"Yeah, she's getting a temporary rank of Captain until she gets the real thing," Mop added. "She didn't sound too happy about it. Strange, I thought she wanted to be captain."

"I don't think she wanted it that way," Broom explained. "She didn't want anything to happen to Captain Gates. Rick is always supporting Kate, and you know how much time Captain Gates spent yelling at him, but I don't think Rick wanted anything bad to happen to her either. He just wanted her to get promoted or something so Kate could move up - if Kate really wanted to."

"Well they were talking about Kate moving into Captain Gates' office for a while. They might not be back here as much," Mop speculated sadly.

"As much as I hate to say it, I think they will - but not to talk," Broom told him. "The door to the captain's office is glass. Spray Bottle has complained about getting the fingerprints off of it enough times. I think they may still want to hide in here when they - you know. But that's hardly what they were worried about, even if you are. There are going to be a lot of changes. Kate will have to stay here a lot, like Captain Gates did. That means she and Rick won't be going to crime scenes together much unless it's a really big case. It could also change the way Rick writes about Nikki Heat. They'll have a lot to work out."

"Well those two have always been great at working things out and in and out and in..." Mop teased.

Broom smashed his bristles against the wall. "That is really inappropriate!"

* * *

"So Board said Rick went out with Ryan?" Mop asked.

"Uh huh," Broom confirmed. "Esposito is on a case involving Spanish speaking families. Kate thought Sanchez might be more successful getting statements than Ryan, so he's with Esposito and Ryan is with Rick. Board thinks it's the kind of case they both like anyway. Kate would too, if she could go. A florist by the name of Flora Bunga was killed. Someone stood her up in a giant vase in the window of her store making her look like a giant tulip. They put big yellow petals around her head and everything. Rick and Ryan are trying to figure out why someone would do that, or at the very least who. Board said Rick was feeling a little nostalgic because his first case with Kate involved flowers. He was missing her."

Mop waved his tendrils in anticipation. "Maybe he'll find a way to not miss her later - back here."

"I wouldn't hold your breath," Broom replied smugly. "Rick and Ryan are going through all of Flora's financials and questioning all her friends. It's going to be a while before he has time for that. Kate has to keep track of the other cases too. If they do get to do any of that stuff you love so much, they'll probably do it at home."

Mop's tendrils drooped. "Well at least I can get Brush to tell me about it if they do. It's not as good as getting to watch, but it's something."

* * *

Mop settled into his place on the cart. "Well at least Wastebasket hears everything Rick and Kate talk about in her office, and he's willing to share. He did say all they did was talk, and it was about the case."

"My condolences," Broom retorted sharply. "but what about the case?"

"Well you know Rick," Mop replied, "he never wants to do the usual thing. He started thinking about the meanings of flowers, especially yellow flowers. He said they meant hopelessly in love, and yellow tulips used to mean unrequited love. So he and Ryan started looking at Flora's texts to see who she might be hopelessly in love with or who might be hopelessly in love with her."

"Did they find anything? Broom questioned.

"Yeah, they did," Mop informed him proudly. "Flora was constantly texting this guy named Joe Boxter. Rick and Ryan were going to track him down."

* * *

"So what did Espresso say Rick told Kate about Joe Boxter?" Broom asked a milk-sodden Mop as he was returned to the Janitor's Closet."

Mop shook a few white drops from his tendrils. "Rick said Flora and Joe went together in high school a long time ago. But when she started texting him she told him she broke up with her husband because she never got over Joe. I guess he changed his number three times trying to get away from her, but she always found him. He's some kind of a flower expert too, so they had some connections. He lost a couple of girlfriends over all the texts from Flora and just couldn't take it anymore. He went to her shop to try to get her to leave him alone, but that just convinced her that he wanted to see her. Rick said the man couldn't handle it and snapped. He wanted everyone to see that her love was unrequited, so he turned her into a giant yellow tulip. He still had all the stuff he used to make the petals at his apartment."

"Wow! The question is who was crazier, Flora or Joe," Broom offered.

Mop clacked his loop. "Yeah, that's what Kate thought too. She decided it was Joe. She thought a sane person would have just taken out a restraining order. Anyway, that was the end of the case. Kate was kind of happy. She said as a captain she can usually leave at a reasonable hour and since Rick wound up his case, he could go with her. Then Rick said he had a stop to make along the way and he'd meet her there. I'll have to check with Brush to see if I can find out what that's about. Or maybe Wastebasket can ask her. I don't get near Brush much these days."

Broom rubbed his bristles against the floor. "Cleaner knows you'll just keep sticking your tendrils in things until you get the story."

* * *

"So you talked to Brush when Kate spilled her M & M 's®. What did she tell you?" Mop demanded. "Why did Rick stop on his way home?"

"Alright, I know you won't leave me alone until you find out," Broom capitulated. "He picked up a bouquet of yellow and red roses. The yellow stood for devotion and the red ones meant that she's his lover."

Mop swished expectantly. "Oh things must have gotten good after that."

Broom stuck his bristles straight out. "Brush said that Kate ran her through her hair after she changed into something nice for Rick. Then she left Brush in the bathroom until morning. Brush didn't see or hear anything."

"Pile of dirt!" Mop exclaimed. "What's the flower for frustration?"

Broom settled contentedly against the wall.

A/N In answer to Mop's question: wormwood.


	29. Chapter 29

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 29

"Where's Rick?" Mop wondered.

"Oh, Wastebasket said he and Kate were talking and they decided that since they couldn't work together as much here anymore, if he got an interesting case as a PI he should take it," Broom replied. "He got one. Kate said it was perfect for him. She thought the crime was the kind of thing he might have done himself, before they got together."

Mop swished his tendrils in confusion. "What crime? Why would Rick commit a crime?"

"A giant figure of Joss Whedon was stolen from Comicadia. They had been using it to sell some graphic novels. Rick said they were leaf on the something. Wastebasket wasn't sure. Kate said Rick used to have a giant Boba Fett in his bathroom, but he got rid of it when they got married. He gave it to Alex Conrad. He admitted to her he swiped it when he was in college, but he felt bad about it afterward and paid for it anonymously, No one has offered to pay for Joss Whedon, but Kate thought Rick might be able to get inside the mind of the culprit anyway. He'll be working for Comicadia. Kate laughed when he told her they'd be paying him in comic books," Broom added.

"I don't like this captain thing for Kate," Mop complained. "This is almost as bad as it was when Rick was missing or when he was banned from the precinct. We hardly get any action anymore. I don't even get to talk to Brush much. I think I'm going into withdrawal."

Broom flicked a straw. "I think you'll survive. Besides, there are plenty of other things going on around here. There will probably be another body soon. Dirt pile! I'm getting as bad as you, hoping for a murder. I think we can both use a little rethinking."

"Rethinking, my handle!" Mop exclaimed, "I just want some fun."

* * *

"So what did Board say about the new murder?" Mop asked.

"He doesn't know much yet. He just heard Kate tell Esposito and Ryan to go. That's why I was out there," Broom explained. "Esposito dropped his doughnut when she called him. Crumbs all over the floor."

"Didn't he know anything?" Mop prodded?

"Sorry," Broom responded insincerely, "all Board heard was an address."

* * *

"Did you hear what Wastebasket said?" Mop inquired.

Broom ruffled his bristles. "Of course. I was on the cart with you when Janitor was dumping him. He was talking about the case Kate sent Esposito and Ryan on. The victim was one of those internet mogul people, also a big Whedon collector, a Linus Zucker. He'd been strangled with something hard that left bruises. Rick was actually the one who called it in. That's why Kate got it. Zucker was one of Rick's suspects for stealing the Joss Whedon figure, so Rick went to see him. When Rick got there, he found the figure, but he also found the body."

"A least this time nobody suspected Rick of murder," Mop put in.

"How could they? That other Doctor, Perlmutter, he said Zucker died before six A.M.. Rick had an alibi."

"You won't even say it, will you?" Mop teased. "Rick's alibi was Kate. They were in bed together."

Broom clacked against the cart. "Probably sleeping. Humans do that you know - a lot."

Mop twirled a tendril. "Think what you want. But now Rick's solved his own case and he's involved with the murder. So he'll be working with Ryan and Esposito - and reporting to Kate."

"Well he will be good with the suspects, probably better than Ryan and Esposito," Broom mused. "Wastebasket said Rick and Kate were talking about the suspects being part of the nerd world Rick loves so much, really that they both do. I guess he'll be talking to the suspects tomorrow with those other two."

"I bet Kate will be watching," Mop asserted.

* * *

Mop shook out a brown tendril. "Cleaner! That guy spilled Jolt® all over the floor in interrogation. I don't think I've ever seen anyone that hyper, not even Rick on his fourth coffee."

"Do they think he murdered Zucker?" Broom asked.

"I don't think so," Mop replied. "When Esposito was bringing me back, Ryan told him that Jolt® guy, they called him Sonic, had an alibi. He was with his girlfriend. Neither one of them could believe he actually had one, but apparently he does. Esposito was really disappointed. Both he and Rick thought Sonic did it because Sonic had been blogging and tweeting that Zucker stole a game from him and made a lot of money on it. They thought it was a revenge killing. But since Sonic has an alibi, they're going to have to go on to the next suspect."

* * *

"You are way too smug," Broom accused.

"I'm just happy," Mop protested. "Rick and Kate were back in here and boy were they back."

Broom leaned his handle into the corner. "Spare me."

"I would if I thought you really wanted me to," Mop retorted, "but I think we both know better. Kate was so proud of Rick for looking at Sonic again after the other suspects alibied out. Rick remembered seeing a giant robot at Zucker's place. At the time he thought it was just a movie prop, because Zucker collected them. But then he remembered that the shape of the bruises was like one of the robot's claws, so he asked Kate to have CSU swab them for DNA and then Tech checked the robot's programming. They found a program that had the robot strangle Zucker and then go back to the corner. It had a tag on it they traced back to one of Sonic's computers. The robot killed Zucker while Sonic was sound asleep."

"That's cold, even for a human murderer," Broom commented.

"It is," Mop agreed, "but Rick and Kate were hot, especially Kate. She just couldn't wait to get the clothes off him. She was on top of him on the floor. They didn't use the pads or anything. He sure didn't mind though. When he was holding her afterward he couldn't stop grinning."

"And I bet you couldn't stop your handle from spinning," Broom added dryly.

"There was one thing that I didn't understand, though," Mop remarked.

"I'm sure there are many," Broom returned, "but what?"

"When they were done doing the fun stuff, Rick said that if the robot had just been Asimovian, the murder couldn't have happened. It would have been a violation of The Three Laws. What did that mean?" Mop puzzled. "Kate seemed to understand."

"I don't know," Broom admitted grudgingly. "I think for once, I'm as clueless as you are."

A/N If you're not an Isaac Asimov fan, just google the Three Laws of Robotics.


	30. Chapter 30

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 30

"Wow!" Broom exclaimed. "Kate broke her candy dish. I've never seen Rick and Kate that mad. "

"Not at each other?" Mop queried anxiously.

"No," Broom assured him. "Somebody else. They're trying to find out who. Something about spoofing and nude pictures of Kate. I guess she's in trouble. They may be back here soon. Kate said she didn't want anyone to see her that way."

* * *

"Did you figure out what they were talking about?" Mop asked.

"I'm not sure," Broom confessed with a tinge of embarrassment. "Rick said something about someone pretending to be him setting up an Instagram account. He thought whoever it was must have taken pictures with a drone or something, because they were Kate with nothing on, by the pool at their Hamptons house. It was supposed to be private between the two of them."

"What's the problem?" Mop wondered. "Kate looks beautiful with no clothes on, even with a couple scars. Why would pictures of her be a problem?"

Broom twisted his bristles impatiently. "Same reason they come back here to have fun, as you call it. Humans have rules. Some things are not supposed to be public. The people at 1PP really didn't like it. They said Kate and Rick have no sense of propriety - whatever that is. They were talking about taking Kate off the captains list. Rick has to prove that someone else put those pictures up and Kate didn't know about it. Kate said Tory is going to help. If she can find something called a digital tag on those pictures, Rick and Kate are going to go after who's responsible."

"It sounded like Kate has to make a trip to 1PP," Mop added. "Rick wanted to go with her but she said she needed to do it on her own. Why wouldn't she want him with her?"

Broom's straws fluttered. "Kate said she had to be able to stand up for herself like she did with the politicians. I'm not sure what she meant by that, but Rick understood. He did say he'd support her whatever happened. Not that he's ever done anything else."

Mop twirled a tendril. "Ooh yeah, I've seen him support her in all kinds of ways. Good stuff!"

Broom banged his handle against the wall. "Just shut up!"

* * *

"I got to talk to Brush in the Ladies Room this morning," Mop reported.

"I'm pretty sure I won't want to hear this, but what did she say?" Broom asked hesitantly.

"You will want to hear it," Mop informed him. "It was about the pictures. Rick was complaining, well Brush said ranting, about how hard it was to convince Instagram that the person claiming to be him, wasn't him, and the problems he had in getting them to take down the pictures. He ended up putting out a call to all his followers to bombard the site with comments about it being phony. He asked his tweeps - whatever those are - not to copy or re-post the pictures. A lot of them felt for him and Kate, but he was also really mad about people he called trolls. He said he blocked them. Then he tried to use the information Tory gave him to track down the person who caused all the trouble. He didn't have much luck, but he's still working on it. He said he's glad he studied to be a PI, but wished he'd learned more."

"What about Kate?" Broom asked. "What happened at 1PP?"

Mop's tendrils flattened against the floor. "Brush said it didn't sound good. She told Rick they didn't care if she posed for the pictures or gave permission or not. They claimed it was bad PR, however it happened. They said they would have to see what the fallout was but they made her sign something swearing that she had nothing to do with the pictures anyway. They didn't take her off the captains list but they put her on some kind of probation. Brush said it looked like she was going to cry when she told Rick about it. They didn't even do anything good when they went to bed. He just held her."

"I'm sure that last part ruined your morning," Broom commented.

"It didn't do it any good," Mop admitted. "I hope all this gets worked out fast."

* * *

"You hear anything while you were sweeping up after the pizza?" Mop asked.

"Yeah, Rick was talking to Ryan. He said he hit a dead end on who posted the pictures, so he decided to see who might have bought a drone that could take them. Rick said he saved some information on drones that the Feds tried to grab from another case. He snuck pictures of it with his phone. So he's going to be using it to contact drone manufacturers."

"How is he going to get them to tell him anything?" Mop wondered.

"He said he's going to threaten to sue them for invasion of privacy if they don't help him find the real culprit," Broom explained. "He said Kate's father offered to help. He's as upset about the pictures as Rick and Kate are. He doesn't like having anything like that out there about his little girl."

Mop clacked his loop. "Kate is certainly no little girl. The way she and Rick..."

"Just stop!" Broom ordered. "Haven't you noticed that to human men their daughters are always their little girls? Think about how Rick is about Alexis. She's grown up now, but Rick still worries about her. She even gets mad at him sometimes for trying to protect her too much. Kate's father is probably the same. It's nice, really."

* * *

Mop swayed in his perch on the janitor's cart. "That was some story from Wastebasket."

Broom rustled his bristles. "For once I agree with you. After Rick used the letter Kate's father wrote to get the information from a drone company, he found out that one of the people who bought one was on the N.Y.P.D. captain's list. It was the person they had talked about replacing Kate. Wastebasket thought his name was Grant Bouche. Kate seemed to think the name is funny."

"Then Rick recorded Bouche gloating to a buddy how he'd 'taken that bitch Beckett out of the running.'" Mop continued enthusiastically. "I think the best part of the story was when Rick and Kate played the recording for the people at 1PP. Wastebasket said Rick was practically jumping up and down when he described how they were falling all over themselves to apologize to Kate. Then they begged Rick not to tell the story. Of course he told them he'd agree, but they'd have to take Kate off probation and pull anything bad from her file. I think he was a little disappointed he couldn't put what Bouche did out on the internet, but he was talking about putting a character like him into a book."

"Kate and Rick must be feeling a lot better," Broom assumed.

Mop twined his tendrils. "Yeah, I hope so. With any luck Brush will get a show tonight and I'll get the details tomorrow."

Broom noted with satisfaction that Janitor was approaching with a bucket of water.

A/N So a couple of days ago I decided to sign up for Instagram because Nathan did, and I wanted to follow him. I guess that was a little moppy. Anyway, I found someone was using my email and my pen name. I was able to disassociate my email from that account and start one of my own as writerchemist. If you see Cheerfulchemist on Instagram it's not me, but there's no harm anymore. At least I got some inspiration out of the deal. I also pulled some stuff from a rant William Shatner did about Instagram and people stealing celebrities' identities.


	31. Chapter 31

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 31

"What is going on out there?" Mop wondered.

"Oh, I'm surprised they didn't grab you to clean up too," Broom told him. "Duster, Spray Bottle, we were all out there. The detectives want the bullpen to look good. They're shooting a web series of Nikki Heat."

Mop swished his tendrils in puzzlement. "What's a web series?"

"It's like one of those things they show on the TVs," Broom explained, "except it's on the internet, on computers and phones. After the whole naked picture thing, 1PP thought they could use some better publicity, so they gave permission. Kate isn't sure about the whole thing though. Natalie Rhodes, the same actress who played Nikki in the movie is playing her in the web series and Wastebasket heard Kate tell Rick that Natalie still creeps her out. All the cops in the bullpen are really excited though. They can be extras if they want to. That means they get to stand around and be in it. Ryan and Esposito are a little disappointed. They really wanted to play their characters Raley and Ochoa, but they have to settle for being extras. Rick's going to be in it, as a Detective Reynolds. They've got some actor named Jean-Luc St. Jacques to play Jameson Rook. He really looks a lot like Rick, but Rick was telling Kate that he thinks Jean-Luc wears a toupee, like Detective Murtaw, because his hair wiggles on his scalp."

* * *

"Hey, what happened to the web series?" Broom asked as Mop was returned, his tendrils wet with errant water,shot from Espresso.

"Kate stopped the filming because there's a murder," Mop replied. "It's a bad one. A child was shot on a school playground."

"Rick must be really upset," Broom offered. "You know how he is whenever anything happens to a little one."

"I don't know. He wasn't in the break room," Mop replied. "It was just L.T. and Officer Harrison getting a quick coffee. Maybe Board will have something later. I'm sure Wastebasket will."

* * *

"Did you hear that story?" Broom asked, his straws fluttering sadly. "what is wrong with humans?"

"It didn't sound like the shooter was aiming at the child. He missed a teacher and the child got hit by the ricochet," Mop responded.

"And that makes it better?" Broom demanded. "Some of those people could use a handle whack on their heads."

Mop rubbed his handle against Broom in comfort as they rode on the janitor's cart. "At least they caught him. Ryan, Esposito, Tory, Rick, Kate, everyone went through all the video anywhere near the school until they spotted him. He still had the gun on him when they arrested him. They didn't even need a confession, but Kate got one anyway. He was living with the teacher but he thought she was spending too much time on her students and not enough with him. So he shot her."

Broom shook his bristles. "That's just crazy."

"Hey, they can start filming the web series again. That will be fun," Mop suggested, trying to cheer up his companion.

"Doesn't seem like the cops around here are in the mood for fun," Broom observed. "I know I'm not."

* * *

"So what was Rick doing in the break room" Broom asked a cola soaked Mop.

"Espresso said Rick had his computer in there," Mop answered. "He told Ryan he's writing a webisode about the shooting. The producers are going to shoot it with the others. It's supposed to be a memorial to Michael, the boy who got shot. They're going to ask people to pay to see it and give the money to Michael's family."

"That's nice," Broom said, "but isn't that Rick and Kate coming now? They haven't been in here since the shooting."

Mop inclined his handle toward the door. "Sounds like them."

* * *

"I can see why they didn't want to talk about that in Kate's office," Broom remarked.

"Why?" Mop queried.

Broom scratched his bristles impatiently. "C'mon, talking about whether to have little ones is one of the most personal things humans do. I don't think Kate wanted anyone knocking on the door. She sounded really - I don't know - shaky. She and Rick have been talking a lot lately about having a little one, especially now that she's not on the streets as much. I think Michael's death got to her even more than it got to Rick, and it got to him a lot. She said she wasn't sure about bringing a child into the world if she could lose it like that."

"Rick certainly didn't say much," Mop noted.

"Uh huh," Broom agreed, "just that it was her choice. But he did say they could talk about it some more tonight."

Mop's tendrils flattened sulkily. "Yeah, of course I would miss it. Especially if they try to do something about it."

"I can't believe you're talking about that now," Broom rattled.

"Yeah well, something has to cut through the gloom around here," Mop retorted. "Maybe Brush will give me the lowdown."

Broom clacked his loop. "Lowdown is an appropriate name for what you think about."

* * *

"Well Brush heard it," Mop reported, twirling a damp tendril.

"Heard what?" Broom asked apprehensively.

"Rick and Kate talking about having a little one, of course," Mop replied. "They were cuddling in bed and Rick was talking about Alexis: how much it hurt when she was kidnapped and when she moved out. But he was also remembering all the happy times, like when he took her to the playground and on school trips. He was telling Kate how wonderful it was to watch Alexis grow up and to know how much Alexis loved him, even when she was furious at him. He told Kate he didn't want her to miss out on all the wonderful stuff because she was frightened."

"What did Kate say?" Broom questioned.

"She didn't say no. She told him she wanted to think about it some more. But the good part," Mop added enthusiastically, "is she suggested they could practice while she was thinking."

Broom's bristles sagged against the floor. "Oh no, here it comes."

"You might even like this," Mop returned. "Brush said they were very playful, that Kate started out by tickling Rick and then he flipped her over and ticked her back, then they did little kisses, a lot of them, all over their bodies. Brush said Kate was laughing and smiling and it was really nice to see after things had been so serious."

"I suppose it would be," Broom admitted grudgingly.

"Then Brush said they just looked at each other and..."

"What?" Broom prompted.

Mop flicked his tendrils smugly "See, you want to know. I knew you did. But Brush said Kate hit the control for the lights and Brush couldn't see any more. She just heard them. She did say it went on for a long time."

Broom's handle slid against the shelf. "On for a long time," he repeated. "Just like you."

A/N Some of you might remember Jean-Luc St. Jacques. He is my Nathan Fillion character who appeared in Death of a Showrunner.


	32. Chapter 32

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 32

"Did they finish filming the web series?" Mop asked. "It seems like there's almost no one in the bullpen."

"I don't think they did," Broom responded. "When they grabbed me to sweep up after those muffins Kate brought in this morning, I noticed some of the film equipment is still here. But Kate got a phone call and she went out to the bullpen looking very serious. Something happened."

* * *

"It was nice of Esposito to comfort Lady Doctor Lanie like that," Mop commented, "but I would have liked to see a lot more action."

"I don't think those two do your kind of action anymore," Broom replied, his bristles stiffening. "I think they're just friends now, but she needed a friend. I think that's why she came. She was very upset about the accident. It sounded really bad. I think that's why we had so few cops here. They all went to help. Kate even went to the scene to supervise. Rick went too. I've only seen subways on the TVs here, but they look big. I think a lot of people were hurt."

"Lanie said something about sabotage," Mop noted. "I wonder what she meant."

"I don't know," Broom replied, "but that's the sort of thing Board understands. We can ask him when the janitor takes us out tonight."

* * *

"So Board said there is a group of teen vandals who like to do bad things to subways?" Mop asked.

"Yeah," Broom confirmed. "Kate was telling all the cops in the bullpen about it. They started out by changing signs to confuse passengers and then they started stealing subway equipment. Up until the accident, they hadn't hurt anyone, but this time they threw metal on the tracks and caused an explosion. It stopped a train and threw all the people inside around. A lot of people were hurt and someone hit their head on a pole and died. That makes it a murder."

"How did Kate know who did it?" Mop queried.

"There was video." Broom replied. "It showed the teenagers doing it. They had tattoos identifying them as part of the group. Now the detectives have to figure out which teens in the group actually did it and how to find them."

"Can't Tory do her face thing?" Mop wondered.

"She's trying," Broom answered, "but Board said she hasn't got anything yet. Rick is looking at some things on the computer too, like he does with his PI stuff. According to Board, he told Kate he'd work on it at the loft tonight."

"I hope that's not all he does there," Mop put in hopefully.

Broom swayed on the cart. "Oh please!"

* * *

"Rick really looked tired," Mop reported. "Espresso said that was his third coffee, and he didn't even put milk in it. Kate came into the break room for a minute to thank him for staying up and working all night. She rubbed his shoulders a little bit before she went back to her office. It looked like she would have liked to do more."

"The important thing is if he found anything on the case," Broom pointed out impatiently.

"Kate seemed to think he did," Mop responded. "They were talking about teens boasting on some kind of underground blog. She said she was going to have Tory and anyone else she could get from Tech trace down where the posts came from. She told Rick he should go home and get some rest."

"Did he?" Broom inquired.

"I don't know," Mop replied. "He was still drinking coffee when I was brought back here."

* * *

"So did you hear anything?" Broom asked

"Besides a lot of urinals flushing?" Mop returned.

Broom clacked his loop. "Obviously. Did they find any of those teens who caused the accident?"

"Yeah, Esposito was in there and he was talking about how he and Ryan led a team to some sort of club for rich teens. He sure didn't think much of the place. He said that Tech traced the IP address of one of the postings Rick found, to a computer at the club. They found one of the teens who was on the video there. Esposito said the kid's name is Gerald Westley the Third. His lips pulled pack when he said it, like he'd just eaten something he didn't like. Westley is in interrogation with Kate. Esposito said Westley had the nerve to leer at her when they brought him in, so she thinks his reaction to her will make it easier to take him down and get him to flip on the other kids."

"If Westley leered at Kate, I would think it would be Rick who'd want to take him down," Broom mused.

"Esposito didn't say anything about what Rick wants. He usually doesn't," Mop noted.

"That is true," Broom agreed. "I hope we can talk to the chair or the wipes in interrogation when the janitor cleans up in there, and find out what happened. Kate is so good at interrogations."

* * *

"So what did you find out?" Mop queried.

"Kate and Esposito did it," Broom recounted. "Chair told me that Kate caught Westley staring at her breasts and told him that he was going where he would never see a boob again unless he cooperated and told her who else was involved. Then Esposito came in and told him all about prison and a guy named Peppermint who would make Westley his bitch. Chair said Westley actually started to cry and gave them the names of everyone in the group. Chair thought Rick must have been watching because he came in afterward and told Kate and Esposito he recognized the names of some of the families. He said he probably went to school with some of the kids' parents. Then Esposito said something nasty about rich kids with nothing better to do than hurt other people. Kate said she was going to get warrants for everyone Westley mentioned and send teams to pick them up. Rick joked, at least Chair thought it was a joke, that they'd need a bus for the army of lawyers that would come with them."

* * *

Mop swished tendrils still damp from an early morning overflowing sink in the Ladies Room. "That sounds like Kate coming with Rick and she's wearing her favorite high heels. I can tell from the click."

"That was disappointing," Mop complained after the couple departed. "All they did was talk. This is getting to be a bad habit.

"I'm sorry if they ruined your morning," Broom retorted, "but it sounded important. They were talking about having little ones again. I was surprised by what Kate said."

"Why/" Mop puzzled.

"Well I thought that after seeing those terrible kids who caused that accident," Broom explained, "she'd want one of her own less. But that wasn't what she said. She was saying if there were going to be kids in this world, it would be better if they had parents who would be aware enough to keep them from acting like those murderous brats. She thought that between her wild days growing up and Rick's, they should be pretty good at spotting trouble."

"What was Rick saying about Kate shooting someone?" Mop asked.

"That Kate could shoot any bad influences that came near their kids," Broom recounted. "I think he was kidding. They both seemed in a pretty happy mood when they left. Who knows? Maybe in a few months we may see Kate puffing up like Jenny did."

Mop's tendrils drooped. "And it will be just my luck not to see them make it happen. At least if they do, Brush will see it. She can give me all the details. I'm going to have to be very nice to her for a while."

Broom settled back against the wall in resignation, to await the next spill of crumbs.


	33. Chapter 33

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 33

Sounds like they're filming again," Mop noted.

"Uh huh," Broom replied, shedding a stubborn crumb from his bristle. "Those people do make a mess with the table of snacks they set up in the break room. You know it's strange. I thought for a moment I saw Rick in there, but it wasn't him."

"Was it Jean-Luc?" Mop asked. "They do look a lot alike."

Broom swished against the floor."No, not Jean-Luc. This guy was a little older than Rick, I think, and he had brown eyes. But it was the same hair, same nose, same shoulders. They called him Gus. Espresso said he's playing Jameson Rook's brother. I wonder if Rick has a brother. He and Kate have never mentioned one."

"Well you may find out something. They're coming now," Mop observed.

* * *

"I guess you weren't the only one who noticed the resemblance," Mop remarked. "I didn't understand everything Rick said about his father, it didn't sound like he likes him much. But he thought maybe his father did the fun thing with more women than his mother. He's wondering if maybe he and Gus are brothers too."

"Yeah I heard. Rick said he talked to Gus about how similar they looked and wondered if they might be related somehow. Gus told him it was possible because he was adopted and no one ever knew who his - he called it biological father - is. Rick suggested a DNA test. He said Gus is thinking about it."

"What about Jean-Luc?" Mop wondered.

"You know," Broom recalled, "I think Rick and Kate might have talked about that before, but Jean-Luc is famous enough so everyone knows who his parents are. If he and Rick are related, they're definitely not brothers. But Rick said his mother thought there might be some kind of distant relationship on her side of the family."

"Kate sounded kind of curious," Mop opined. "She was wondering if she had any brothers or sisters-in-law she didn't know about, or even nieces and nephews. Rick sounded a little down when she brought it up though, I think maybe he is sad that he might have a family he's missed."

Broom's loop clacked sharply. "Whoa! When did you get sensitive?"

"Hey!" Mop protested. "I don't just think about the fun stuff. But if Rick does have more family, think of all the fun his father must have had."

"There's the Mop I know," Broom told him. "Well I suppose we'll find out, if Rick does. It doesn't sound like they're going to talk about this in Kate's office.

* * *

"Just my luck to be cleaning up a mess downstairs while Rick and Kate were in here again," Mop groused.

"You can calm down," Broom soothed. "They weren't doing anything you'd want to watch. They were just talking again. Gus agreed to a DNA test and Doctor Lanie ran it for them. Rick and Gus aren't brothers, but they are related. Lanie thinks they're probably first cousins."

"What does that mean?" Mop puzzled.

"It means that Rick's father has a brother or a sister, Lanie thinks it's probably a brother, who is Gus' parent. So somewhere Rick has an aunt or uncle." Broom explained, "or at least did. Since Gus is a little older than Rick, his parents might have been older than Rick's father. They might have done what humans do when they get older. Rick said if he ever sees his father again he's going to ask him, not just for himself, but for Gus too. Kate doesn't think Rick is likely to get an answer though, especially not an honest one. I think Rick agrees with her, even if he doesn't want to."

"So what is Rick going to do about Gus?" Mop wondered. "They're done shooting the web series, but don't families usually see each other sometimes? Ryan is always talking about that. Are Rick and Gus going to get together?"

"I don't know," Broom answered. "Kate had to go back to work and they left. Maybe we'll hear something about it later. Rick said something about a wrap party for the web series. Gus may be here for that."

* * *

Mop splayed his tendrils on the floor. "That was some night, cleaning up after that party."

Broom smoothed his bristles against the wall. "It was. Those web series people got food everywhere. So did the detectives. I think Vacuum got the worst of it. His motor was a little warm and Janitor had to unclog his hose. Espresso said it was a great party though. He didn't have to do much. Mostly they were drinking the stuff that makes humans a little silly - except for the cops who had to work. That's probably what made so much work for you. When humans drink that stuff they seem to spill things a lot. Espresso said Gus was talking with Rick and Kate. They took one of those high tables in the break room and were there for a long time. He heard Kate invite Gus to dinner at the loft."

"Dirt pile!" Mop exclaimed. "We won't get to hear about that. Brush only sees things in the bedroom and bathroom at the loft. She never sees dinners. I wish I had someone else to talk to."

"I think Brush already tells you way too much," Broom reproved.

"Yeah well if Kate or Rick tell anyone about it in the break room, Espresso will tell me," Mop comforted himself. "Nothing ever clogs his flow."

Broom's handle swayed. "That's for sure."

* * *

"Alright, I can tell your head is full of something. You might as well tell me," Mop urged.

"There was cake left over from the wrap party and crumbs got everywhere.," Broom complained. "But Kate and Rick were eating some of it and I did get to hear them talking a little about the dinner with Gus. I don't know if this is the kind of thing you want to hear about, though. Nobody had your kind of fun."

"That's okay," Mop assured him, "it's a slow day. I'll take any kind of news."

"Alright," Broom agreed. "They were talking about a Mercedes, I think she's Gus' daughter. He brought her with him to the loft."

"Was there a wife?" Mop asked.

Broom rustled his bristles. "I didn't hear about one. It sounded like Mercedes and Alexis really liked each other. They're both about to go into their last year of college. Mercedes has a plan. She wants to be a doctor. Alexis told her about when she interned with Doctor Lanie and they left the table to talk about it. Gus and Martha talked about acting. They found out they know some of the same people. She offered to introduce him to some of the other people she knows in theater and he offered to introduce her to some people making things for the internet. It sounded like the whole thing went pretty well. Rick and Kate seemed to be pretty happy about it."

Mop's handle twirled excitedly. "Ooh, if they were happy about it last night, maybe they had some bedtime fun."

Broom's bristles sank against the floor. "You would think of that."

"Well never mind!" Mop retorted huffily. "At least there's someone around here who understands. First chance I get, I'll see if Brush has the really good stuff."

"Of that," Broom replied, "I have no doubt."


	34. Chapter 34

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 34

"What are all those girls doing in the precinct?" Mop wondered.

"Espresso told me the cops were talking about bring your daughter to work day," Broom explained. "A bunch of them were in the break room. That's why I had so much to sweep up. Rick even brought Alexis in. She's helping Kate reorganize her paperwork. Kate's still getting used to how much of it she has as a captain."

"Nothing new about Alexis being here." Mop remarked. "She's here a lot. I heard the property room would have been a total wreck without her."

"That's true," Broom agreed, "but the other girls are new. I don't think their parents have an idea about what to do with them, so they're mostly standing around watching, and dropping sprinkles on the floor. There must have been six dozen doughnuts in the break room this morning. Not just sprinkles, they had that white powder and that sticky red stuff you have to clean up. I think Rick bought them."

"He probably did," Mop guessed. "Kate loves sprinkles and he's the only one around here who spends that kind of money."

"Cops don't make that much money, you know," Broom reminded him. "Rick has it to spend because people buy his books. And he has other things too, like the Old Haunt. There was a case here before your time. Yeah," he recalled, "it was when Captain Montgomery was still here. The owner of the Old Haunt was killed. Rick loved the place so he bought it. It was losing money then. But since Rick bought it, all the cops go there. From what I hear, it makes money for Rick. He is very generous to the cops here, which is nice, but I wouldn't mind if he bought a few less sprinkles."

"I hear you," Mop agreed.

* * *

"So what did you hear in the Ladies Room?" Broom asked, as a water-soaked Mop was returned to the Janitor's Closet.

"Well some of the girls were surprised that the sink overflowed," Mop reported. "I don't think the drains around here were built for that much hair."

"You must have heard something more interesting than that," Broom insisted.

"Yeah, the girls were talking about Mr. Castle - I guess they meant Rick - giving them a mystery to solve. He gave everyone a character and he's putting clues up on Board. Then the girls get to fill in more. They get to question each other to figure out who the murderer is. They said he told them it's a little like a game he used to play with Alexis. They were very excited about it."

* * *

Mop's tendrils flopped wearily as Janitor returned him to the cart. "Wow, I'm glad they're finally gone. Those girls had a big day giving us a big night. What did you hear from Board about the game Rick gave them?"

"It was an interesting case," Broom replied. "He made the victim a math teacher, Mrs. Birtch. She was strangled with cord she used for drawing perfect circles. Some of the girls liked that. One of them was upset because she wants to be a math teacher and she didn't like the idea of one being murdered, but even she got into the game. There were a bunch of suspects: other teachers, the principal, even a couple of students. Rick helped the girls do what the detectives do: make a time line and figure out where everyone was around the time of death. Board said he didn't hear them question each other because Kate let them use interrogation, but he got the information when they talked in front of him and wrote it on him."

"Like what?" Mop inquired. "Was anyone doing the fun stuff with Mrs. Birtch?"

"That is disgusting!" Broom exclaimed. "They're kids. Rick can't talk to them about that kind of thing. The first one was Mrs. Tassel, the principal. She was a suspect because she thought Mrs. Birtch was after her job. But she was in the cafeteria making sure no one got too many tater tots - whatever those are - when Mrs. Birtch was killed, so she got ruled out.

"The next one was Mrs. Dompf. She was supposed to be old. The clues said she taught home economics that were as old as she was. She taught the girls to sit with their knees together and their ankles crossed so they could be proper young ladies. Her curriculum - what she taught - was going to be changed and she blamed people like Mrs. Birtch for making girls too much like boys. She had an alibi too. When Mrs. Birtch was killed, Mrs. Dompf was teaching a class on how to flake tuna fish for a casserole."

"No wonder they wanted to change her curriculum," Mop commented. "I've never seen anyone around here eat anything like that."

"Board told me some of the girls actually said they like the stuff. Maybe they grow out of it," Broom speculated. "Anyway, the next suspect was Mitzy Tonkin, the gym teacher. She had put false information into her records so her students would look fitter than they were. Mrs. Birtch discovered what she did and Mitzy was going to lose her job. It took them a while to figure out where Mitzy was, because no one had seen her. She finally admitted that she sneaked off campus to line up clients as a personal trainer. So she was ruled out too."

"This isn't getting anywhere," Mop complained.

"Just wait," Broom responded. "I'm getting there. I haven't told you about the student suspects yet. One was Carrie Barrett. She had a perfect grades, but Mrs. Birtch caught her cheating and was going to fail her. It really looked like she did it. Threatening emails were traced to her home computer. She was supposed to be in study hall when Mrs. Birtch was strangled, but she didn't show up. Then they found several witnesses who had seen her sitting against the wall in the Girls Room in between times of being sick. She'd been so upset the night before she'd stolen liquor from her parents. It was her first time and she had way too much. I think they call that having a hangover. The cops around here talk about it."

Mop swished impatiently.

"Now we get to the end, or the denouement, as Rick called it," Broom announced.

Mop rubbed his tendrils together. "Finally."

"The last suspect was also a student, Molly Frobish. All the other students thought Molly and Mrs. Birch were really close. They did a lot of work on computers together. Mrs. Birtch even gave Molly advanced work to do. But Molly was using what she learned to become a hacker. She broke into the computer at a local store to steal credit card information. Mrs. Birtch noticed that Molly started wearing clothes to school she knew Molly couldn't afford. She asked Molly if she'd gotten a job or something. Molly was afraid Mrs. Birtch would figure out what she'd done, so when she found Mrs. Birtch concentrating hard at her computer, she came up behind her with the cord. The clues showed that Molly still had ridges on her hands from when she pulled it tight. Bruce's daughter Kirsten figured it out."

"Did she get anything for that?" Mop asked.

"Rick gave her a special pen from the Mystery Writers Guild, but I think Bruce did even better than Kirsten," Broom offered.

"How?" Mop puzzled.

Broom's straws rustled. "Board told me Ryan complained that Bruce is going to have this to brag about for weeks."


	35. Chapter 35

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 35

"Kate seems a lot happier now," Broom remarked. "Things seem to be working better for her since Alexis was here. She doesn't have to spend as much time behind her desk."

"That's true," Mop agreed. "Brush told me that she and Rick talk a lot more about the cases in bed again too. That's when the fun starts."

Broom twisted his bristles. "I don't know which one of you is worse."

"Or maybe you just can't accept a good time," Mop retorted. "Of course you probably would like the down side - at least for me. They do it at home so they don't do it here. I'd still rather see it than have Brush tell me about it." Mop's tendrils lifted suddenly. "Oh, wait a minute, that's them coming now. Maybe things are even better than I thought."

Mop twined his tendrils around himself. "Ooh that's great! They're redoing Kate's office and until they're done, she's back in the bullpen."

"Not so great for Captain Gates," Broom reminded him. "She's not coming back. Even if she gets well, she won't be captain here."

Mop swayed against the wall. "Yeah well, I'm sorry about what happened to Captain Gates and I really hope she gets better, but still, that was great. Kate was really turned on by how well Rick handled those girls. She was remembering how impressed she's always been at how good a father he is. That started them talking about little ones again. Then up against the door!"

"You keep twirling your handle that way and it's going to fall off," Broom observed, his loop clacking loudly. "So you got your wish, but it sounded like they left fast because there's a case out there. I wonder what happened."

"Of course you do," Mop returned. "With you it's always the case."

* * *

"So what did Board say?" Mop asked.

"So now you're interested in the case?" Broom taunted.

"If it can turn Rick and Kate on, I'm interested," Mop declared. "They're on this one together, aren't they?"

"They are," Broom confirmed. "Board said Rick really likes it. The victim, Declan Markam, is a make-up artist who specializes in monsters. Someone smashed the top of his head and then screwed a couple of bolts into his neck. Doctor Lanie said he bled to death in a few minutes. Rick is getting to meet all the people Declan worked with and Kate accused him of being like a kid with a new toy. Board said she was smiling while she said it, though."

"Praise Cleaner!" Mop exclaimed. "This sounds promising. So who are the suspects?"

"Well as usual, the first one is the wife. Her name is Gilda and she's an actress, or at least she was. She was a horror star in the eighties but as Declan got more and more famous, her career went the other way. Now she's selling laxatives - whatever those are. Rick made a face when they were mentioned. Rick thinks she might have been jealous of Declan's success. Also, Kate had Ryan run her financials and he found an insurance policy on Declan. Ryan said that it expires at the end of the year and won't be renewable because Declan developed some medical problems. His death now, gives her a million dollars. If he'd died later, she wouldn't get the money. Trouble is, she has an alibi. She was on a panel at Super Scream Convention around the time Declan died. Hundreds of fans saw her."

"So who else?" Mop inquired.

"He had an apprentice. That's someone who learns a job by working with someone who's good at it. The guy's name is Joyce Merman."

Mop fluttered a tendril in surprise. "I thought Joyce is a human female name."

"I thought so too," Broom agreed. "Board said Rick thought maybe he was named after a writer. I don't suppose it matters. Joyce told some his friends that he wanted to do more complicated make-ups. He thought Declan was holding him back. He wanted to apprentice with someone else, but no one would take him because they were afraid Declan would get mad. Board said Kate and Rick were going to check Joyce's alibi in the morning."

The cart creaked as Mop rubbed his handle against it. "Dirt pile! That probably means they won't be here, or at least not coming to see us."

"Well you wanted them to work together on a case," Broom replied smugly. "Sounds like they're doing it."

* * *

"Espresso says Joyce didn't do it," Mop reported. "Rick was making consolation lattes for himself and for Kate. Rick said Joyce was at a prosthetics class. Espresso didn't know what that is but it sounds like something for fun time."

"Well it isn't," Broom informed him. "It's about replacement parts for humans. You know, like Curtis who works in the archives. I heard him talking to Esposito once. Curtis went to fight somewhere called Iraq and came back with that funny looking curved thing instead of a foot. He called it a prosthetic."

"Oh," Mop responded, disappointed. "Well anyway, it sounded like Rick and Kate are out of suspects for Declan's murder. Rick isn't giving up though. He wanted to go talk to some of the people on that panel with Gilda or just hanging around Super Scream. Kate seemed to think he was just looking for an excuse to talk to horror lovers. She told Rick to have a good time; that she needs to catch up on her captain's stuff."

"Who was that yelling and screaming before?" Broom asked as Mop was returned.

"From what I could hear, that was Gilda Markham, Declan Markham's wife. She was making such a fuss she knocked the bottle off the water cooler. I needed help from New Wet Vac to get it all up." Mop curled his tendrils. "That was nice though. I love the way her motor purrs."

"What was Gilda doing here?" Broom wondered. "I thought she had an alibi."

"I don't know," Mop replied. "L.T. took her into interrogation while I was working. We'll have to find out from Chair later."

* * *

"So what did Chair say?" Mop asked. "Janitor left me in Bucket for a while."

Broom rustled his straws in satisfaction. "He said Gilda killed Declan."

"How could she be in two places at once?" Mop queried.

"She wasn't," Broom declared. "She was supposed to be on the panel in full costume as Queen of of the Flesh Eaters, including a mask and a phony voice. "But it wasn't her. She made a deal with her old movie double, Ima Faker, to pretend to be her while she killed Declan. Then they were going to split the insurance money. It probably would have worked, but Rick found her old costume designer, Lucy Lee. Lucy's still working in movies, but she was at the panel. She said Gilda has one shoulder lower than the other. She always had to adjust Gilda's costumes for it. But Ima doesn't. Lucy knew the person on the panel wasn't Gilda.

"Kate put pictures in front of Gilda showing Ima, with even shoulders. Gilda tried to say the costume was padded to disguise her shoulder, but of course Kate had the costume and showed her it wasn't. Also there was DNA on the mask and Kate told Gilda she was sure the DNA would show Gilda wasn't wearing it. Kate also got Ima to make a deal blaming the whole thing on Gilda, and Gilda finally confessed."

"Rick and Kate must have been happy," Mop ventured.

"Chair said Rick suggested a trip to Le Cirque and then seeing how else they could celebrate afterward." Broom admitted.

Mop twined his tendrils. "Now that really sounds promising. First chance I get tomorrow, I'm talking to Brush."

Broom settled tiredly into the cart. "I wouldn't expect anything else."


	36. Chapter 36

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 36

"What are those?" Mop asked, gazing at the small creatures chewing pieces of paper towel to build a nest behind the shelves.

"Haven't you ever seen mice before?" Broom asked. "They just love to eat the kind of things I sweep up. The brownish stuff they spread on those sandwiches the humans call PB & J, drives them crazy; they'll come from anywhere to get it. I had a little stuck to my bristles once and one of them came to nibble it off. I don't think it liked the taste of my straw though. I think they might be here because more of the cops have started making those sandwiches for lunch."

"Why?" Mop wondered.

"I'm not sure," Broom replied, "but Espresso said he heard something about budgets and temporary salary cuts while L.T. and Officer Harrison were making them. He said they sounded almost as steamed up as he gets, so it might have something to do with it. I can't say I'm that happy myself. There are a lot more crumbs."

Mop's tendrils few straight out. "What was that?"

Broom rustled in amusement. "Haven't you ever heard one of Rick's screams before?"

"You think he's afraid of something.?" Mop queried.

"You're so obsessed with your fun times, there are some things you really don't observe, aren't there?" Broom accused. "Rick screams like that when he's startled, not when he's actually scared. When he's really scared, like when someone points a gun at Kate, he doesn't sound that silly. I bet that was another mouse. Once they're in the building, they get in the walls and pop up all over the place."

* * *

"What did Wastebasket say Kate was so mad about?" Mop asked after the janitor stuck Broom back on the cart.

"The mice got into the snacks she keeps in her desk. She lost all her Reese's Pieces®. He said she wanted to get some people in here to get rid of them, but there's no budget for it. 1PP told her she'd have to deal with it on her own. Rick said he'd help, something about humane mouse traps. Kate told him she didn't care if the traps were humane or not, she just wanted the mice out of the precinct."

"Well that could explain what Vacuum told me," Mop mused. "He said a lot of wastebaskets and chairs saw Rick going all over the place with tiny plastic buildings. Come to think of it, he put one of those in our closet, too. Maybe those are the traps."

"It's possible," Broom responded, "of course with Rick you never know."

* * *

"One of the mice from the nest went into Rick's little building," Mop noticed.

"Yeah, from what I've heard a lot of them have been doing that. Board said Rick was telling Ryan and Esposito he has something very special in mind for the mice he catches, but he wouldn't tell them what. I think Kate knows, though," Broom added. "Board said she was giggling."

Mop twirled a tendril incredulously. "Really? I've never heard her do that, not even in the Ladies Room when some of the other female cops were doing it. Rick must be planning something pretty funny."

* * *

"The last of the mice is gone from the nest," Broom noted. "No one seems to be complaining about them out there anymore either. I guess Rick's job must be finished."

"We may find out," Mop speculated. "That sounds like Kate's heels coming this way and that's Rick's voice."

* * *

"Do you think they're really going to do it?" Mop asked as the door closed behind Rick and Kate.

"I take it you're referring to what Rick said he wants to do with all those mice," Broom assumed.

"It would be even more fun to talk about something else, but yeah," Mop confirmed. "If they get caught, Kate could really be in trouble."

"Kate's done a lot of things that could have, and sometimes did, get her in trouble," Broom recalled. "I don't think she's about to change now. And you know Rick, he's always up for something like the stunt they were planning. He couldn't even stand still when they were whispering about it. I hope we get to hear about how it goes."

"And what happens afterward," Mop added, twining his tendrils in anticipation.

Broom scratched his bristles against the floor. "Of course you'd think of that."

* * *

"Ooh, you have to hear what Brush told me when I was sopping up the water from that sink that keeps clogging in the Ladies Room."

Broom leaned his handle against the wall. "Do I really?"

"Well you wanted to hear about how Kate's and Rick's plan went right?" Mop responded.

Broom clacked his loop in agreement.

"Okay then. Brush gave me the story. First," Mop began, "she said Kate and Rick dressed all in black. They even covered their heads with black caps like the detectives wear in the winter sometimes. Kate had black boots on and they didn't even have high heels. Then they had a big box with little holes in it that Rick put all the mice in. Brush said Rick's office chair told her that part. They left the loft with the box last night when it was dark. Brush didn't hear what they did when they were out, because Kate didn't take her purse with her, but she heard them talking about it when they came back. As far as she could make out from what they said, they went to 1PP. Rick was congratulating Kate on finding out the code to get in a back door after hours. Anyway, it sounded like Rick and Kate let all the mice go inside 1PP. Brush said Kate couldn't stop laughing about it. Then the real good stuff started."

Broom's straws groaned against the wall. "Somehow I knew you'd be getting to that."

Mop continued enthusiastically, ignoring Broom's comment. "Well after Kate pulled her cap off, she used Brush and then put her on the dresser, so she got to see everything. Rick and Kate said they needed to get out of their commando clothes and then when they were undressing, Rick sort of gasped and stuttered something about Kate really going commando. Then she pulled at his shorts and suggested he join her. After that they were rolling around on the bed kissing. Rick had to keep pushing Kate's hair out of the way. She said something about cutting it a little and he told her he'd be happy as long as it wasn't in her mouth. Then Brush said Rick pulled Kate against him hard and they rolled over so she was on top before they did that thing where his handle - you know. Then Kate screamed, but Brush said she wasn't scared or hurt or anything. She just sort of collapsed on Rick for a while. Then they kissed a bit more and he hit the control for the lights. Brush said it sounded like they went to sleep after that."

Broom flattened his straws. "Cleaner be praised for that mercy."

"Well," Mop declared, "you have your idea of mercy - and I have mine."


	37. Chapter 37

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 37

"Wastebasket said Kate looked really white when she came back from checking that case file in the archives," Broom reported.

"What case?" Mop asked.

"You wouldn't remember it," Broom told him. "It was from when Captain Montgomery was here. It had been his case and it linked to one of Kate's. Kate found out that Montgomery put the wrong man in jail, but she and Rick and Ryan and Esposito finally got the right one. That killer's coming up for some kind of hearing and Kate wanted to go over the details. Wastebasket didn't think the case was what was bothering her though. He said her hands were shaking. They never do that about a case."

"She'd tell Rick what was wrong, wouldn't she?" Mop asked, eagerly hoping to witness Rick comforting his wife.

"Boy, you really haven't been paying attention tonight," Broom observed, swaying disapprovingly in the janitor's cart. "Board said Rick had to fly off for some book signing this afternoon. He won't be back until sometime tomorrow. We may find out something then, if he comes to the precinct."

"Oh he'll come if Kate's here," Mop asserted, twirling a tendril in anticipation. "He always wants to see her first thing when he gets back from one of those trips."

* * *

"Well that was an interesting discussion," Mop commented, after Rick and Kate left the Janitor's Closet.

"It had to have been, for you to listen," Broom sniped, "especially since they didn't do much of what you consider fun."

"Well," Mop recounted, fluttering his tendrils, "there was that part when he was convincing her to tell him what was wrong. She didn't want to, but when he held her like that and just started kissing her..."

"Alright!" Broom interrupted, "I saw it. She told him. But I think you're right about her not wanting to. She had that red on her face humans get when they're embarrassed. She said she saw Captain Montgomery - or his ghost - in the archives and I think I know why she might be embarrassed. Board's told me lots of stories about her teasing Rick for believing in things like ghosts. It would be hard for her to admit she saw one. Rick even asked her if maybe it was a dream. He reminded her she dreamed of seeing Montgomery in the archives when she'd had a bottle smashed over her head by a thug. But she insisted she was awake and Montgomery told her he wanted her to find Bob Armen's family so he could make things right."

"Who's Bob Armen?" Mop wondered. "Rick seemed to know."

"I don't know the whole story," Broom confessed. "He was some kind of Federal agent who died a long time ago, when Montgomery would have just been starting out as a cop. It was supposed to have had something to do with the murder of Kate's mother. From what we heard, it sure sounds like Montgomery was guilty about something having to do with Armen - if we believe Kate saw a ghost. As upset as she was about it, she obviously believes it."

"I think Rick believes she did," Mop added. "He said he'd help her any way he could. Of course he usually says that."

"They both do," Broom agreed. "It sounded like Kate will use whatever resources she has here and Rick will use his. He said he would work on it in the loft and see her later."

"I suppose she has an advantage now, being captain. She doesn't really have to explain to anyone what she does anymore," Mop mused.

"If it gets to 1PP that she saw a ghost, she'll have plenty to explain," Broom responded. "That's probably why she and Rick were talking about it in here, where no cops can hear them."

"There's an advantage to that too - for me," Mop noted, his tendrils curling with the thought, "they'll be back here if they want to talk about it again."

* * *

"You would not believe the mess!" Broom exclaimed. "Espresso told me the guy carrying the box of things to refill the vending machine tripped and fell on it. Then when he tried to get up he tripped again and smashed all the bags. That's when Officer Harrison came to get me. There were pieces of pretzels and chips everywhere. There were peanuts and cookie crumbs too. It took forever to sweep it all up."

"Rick and Kate were here. You missed everything," Mop gloated.

"I have a feeling I might not be sorry about that," Broom returned.

"Oh you will," Mop assured him. "They were talking about about Kate's ghost and finding Bob Armen's family. I found out a lot more of the story. The reason your Captain Montgomery would have wanted to make things right for Armen's family is Montgomery's the one who killed him. It was supposed to have been an accident, but Montgomery was doing something illegal with other cops, so he never confessed, except to Kate. And that wasn't until right before he died. Someone else, a guy named Joe Pulgatti was framed for the crime. That's where Kate's mother came in. She was killed for investigating the case. The truth eventually came out when Kate caught the man, a guy named Bracken, responsible for her mother's death. But by that time Montgomery was dead and never had a chance to do anything for Armen's family. That's why his ghost asked Kate for help."

"So did Kate or Rick find the family?" Broom asked.

Mop swayed forward on his tendrils. "They both did. Kate found Armen's wife. She's someone else' wife now. Rick found Armen's daughters. They're married and have little ones of their own."

"So how can things be made right for them, with Montgomery dead?" Broom asked. "What can a ghost do?"

"Montgomery had set up a secret account for the Armen family. He'd always intended that they'd get it some day. He just didn't have a chance before he died. The ghost told Kate where he left the number. It was under a floor board in the archive room. That's why the ghost was there," Mop explained. "Rick said Montgomery's spirit was tethered to it. Montgomery wanted Kate to send it to the family with an explanation. That way his spirit would be free from the archives. Rick thought that Kate probably dreamed of seeing Montgomery down there because his spirit was still present. Kate wasn't so sure about that part."

"So did they find the account number? Did Kate send it to the family?" Broom questioned.

"They found it," Mop confirmed. "Kate didn't want to explain how they got it to anyone though, so Rick had his lawyer meet with the family and explain everything on behalf of an anonymous client."

Broom bobbed his handle. "Yeah, lawyers can do that. It's called client confidentiality. It drives the cops around here crazy."

"Well Kate seemed to like it this time," Mop offered. "So that was the story, except that Kate wanted Rick to go down to archives with her and make sure Montgomery's ghost was gone. He's got some sort of ghost detector or something. She got red again when she asked. "

"So did he agree?" Broom prompted.

"Yeah, he agreed, then he promised her he'd never mention it again. And that," Mop announced triumphantly, "was when she kissed him and the really good stuff started."


	38. Chapter 38

A/N I bit of a spoiler alert here as to what will be happening on Castle in September. It concerns Tory and a new character. If you are spoiler free you might want to skip this chapter. On the other hand, I still invented this story.

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 38

"Board seems to think something's going on with Tory," Broom offered as the janitor wheeled the cart out of the bullpen.

"I think that's true," Mop agreed. "I was talking to Towel Dispenser in the Ladies Room. She said Tory's been in there talking with the lady cops several times and she didn't look happy. Dispenser didn't get much, but Karpowski told Tory she should go talk to Kate."

"If she talked to Kate, Wastebasket should know what's going on," Broom mused. "Tory's nice, and she almost never makes crumbs. I hope she'll be okay."

"So what did Wastebasket tell you?" Mop asked. "My head was stuck in Bucket."

"He said Tory was offered a job working for a cyber crime task force," Broom related. "She really wants the job, but she doesn't want to leave the Twelfth. She's dating Jorge from downstairs and she doesn't really want to leave him either, although they'll still be able to see each other. Kate was a little freaked out because it was a lot like what happened when she took that job in Washington D.C.. She wanted the job, but she didn't want to leave her friends or Rick."

"That didn't work out very well, did it?" Mop recalled. "Didn't Kate get fired and end up back here?"

"I would suppose it would depend on your definition of working out well. She and Rick did end up together," Broom pointed out.

"I think your bristles are getting soft," Mop teased. "I thought I was the one who likes to see them together."

Broom rattled his straws. "It's just a matter of how you like to see them together. You're into what you think of as the fun stuff. I just want to see them happy."

"Of course you do," Mop replied skeptically.

"I do!" Broom argued, "and I want Tory to be happy too, but Wastebasket didn't think Kate was too helpful. She told Tory she'd be sorry to see her go if she left, but Tory had to consider what was best for her life. He said Kate looked upset after Tory left."

"She'll probably talk to Rick about it," Mop speculated. "Maybe I can get something out of Brush in the morning, if I'm anywhere near her."

* * *

"I haven't been near Brush all day," Mop complained.

"I have," Broom gloated. "Kate made Rick get me, to sweep up all those dots that fell on the floor when he was playing with her paper punch. Brush was in her purse."

"So did Kate talk to Rick about Tory?" Mop prompted. "Did Brush hear anything?"

Broom flicked a bristle. "Sorry. Brush said Rick was up late writing. By the time he got to bed, Kate was asleep. No conversation or anything else you'd be interested in, to report. She didn't hear anything today either."

"Dirt pile!" Mop exclaimed, before splaying his tendrils as he rethought the situation. "Ooh, maybe they'll talk about it in here. Then I can get it first handle."

"I sure that's not all you want to get first handle," Broom commented, clacking his loop. "Well you might get your wish. I think I hear them coming."

* * *

"So Rick thinks that Tory should follow her dream and if things are meant to work out with Jorge, they will. I'm surprised," Mop confessed. "I thought he'd say she should stay."

Broom rapped his handle against the wall. "Just shows how much you pay attention. Rick supported Kate when she decided to go to D.C.. Cleaner! He proposed to her. Why would he think Tory should hold back?"

Mop twirled his tendrils. "I suppose you're right. Obviously Kate really loved his answer. That was some kiss. Dirt pile! I think there would have been more if the phones hadn't all started ringing out in the bullpen."

"They sure did," Broom agreed. "I wonder what happened. Probably nothing good."

* * *

"That was terrible!" Broom exclaimed, swaying sadly in the janitor's cart. Poor Jorge just went to enjoy his nephew's soccer game and when he tried to break up a fight between a couple of crazy parents, one of them shot him."

"Board did say he's still alive and that Tory's with him," Mop reminded his friend. "That's something."

"Yeah, but from what Wastebasket said he heard Kate telling Rick, it doesn't sound too promising." Broom's straws rustled sadly. "The doctors don't think Jorge's going to live. Master Cleaner, I hope they're wrong."

Mop rubbed his handle against Broom's. "I hope so too."

* * *

"All the detectives are in blue. Is it another uniform day?" Mop wondered.

Broom leaned sadly against the wall. "No. Can't you hear how quiet is is out there? They're probably wearing their uniforms for a funeral. I guess Jorge must have died. Some of the cops were coming back here to be by themselves to pray, too. Master Cleaner didn't decide to save him. I guess whomever the humans' masters are, they decided the same way. Poor Tory."

* * *

"So did you hear what happened at Jorge's funeral?" Broom asked.

"Yeah Espresso heard Ryan and Esposito talking about it when they were getting coffee." Mop replied. "Kate gave a speech about senseless killing. Tory was there, but so was Jorge's mother. His mother was the one most people tried to comfort and she got the flag. I'm not sure what that was about, but it seemed to mean something to Ryan and Esposito. They were both feeling really sorry for Tory. Strange about Esposito, since he tried to date her himself and she obviously like Jorge better."

"I've noticed when someone dies, people sometimes put things like that aside," Broom offered. "So what is Tory going to do now?"

"Espresso got that story from Kate and Rick," Mop responded. "Tory doesn't want to be at the Twelfth anymore, at least not for a while. It's too painful for her. It reminds her of Jorge. She's going to take the job with the task force and see how it goes. Kate told Rick that if Tory ever wants to come back, she'll welcome her with open arms, like Captain Gates welcomed Kate when she was fired by the FBI."

Broom's bristles scratched softly against the floor. "I really hope she does come back some time. I really like her and so does everyone else."

"Kate hopes so too, but she told Rick that other Tech people would be coming in. Ryan has been taking an online course and he may help a little too. And she said there's a guy named Vikram Singh who should be here around the end of September. But she thought he might be a problem. She said he has some kind of a history." Mop hunched his tendrils. "What do you think she meant by that?"

"I have no idea," Broom admitted. "I just hope it isn't a history of making crumbs."


	39. Chapter 39

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 39

"What is going on in the conference room?" Mop asked.

"I'm not sure," Broom confessed. "I was just brought in for a last minute touch-up and Vacuum was too busy to talk to me. They are going to be taking pictures of something. They've got cameras and lights like they did when Kate did her photo-shoot with the bikers. They've got a big green thing too. I'm sure one of us can get some news from the break room. When there's something like this, they always talk about it in there. They'll probably need you first; someone is always making a mess with Espresso. Sometimes I think he sprays them on purpose, just for fun."

"I'm pretty sure he does," Mop agreed. "He loves to tell stories about how people get soaked. You can see through the human's shirts when they're wet. I guess that's not a big deal for the men, but the women don't seem to like it very much, even though most of them seem to have those things they use to hold their bumps up, underneath."

"Espresso sprayed Ryan's tie once and he was pretty upset," Broom recalled. "He was telling Esposito afterward that it was silk and a gift from Jenny when they'd been dating a year. After that, he started wearing those vests over his ties. Espresso doesn't squirt those."

* * *

"So did you find out?" Broom asked.

Mop swished his newly wet tendrils. "Oh yeah! This is going to be fun. They're going to be taking pictures for the N.Y.P.D. calendar. Some of them are going to be of cops from here and a lot will be of cops from other precincts. But that's not all. After they take the pictures, Rick is going to be doing a video showing all of them and telling a little about each cop. The video is going up on a special web page and people can order the calendar, but they also get to vote for which cop goes on which month and who gets to go on the cover. The cops are really competing hard for who gets the cover."

"So who's going to be in it from our precinct?" Broom asked.

"Well Esposito," Mop responded. "He's always up for things like that. He loves to show off his muscles. He seems to think they make then women want him. He was doing push-ups in the corner of the break room. L.T. is in it too. He's walking around the precinct with weights on his wrists. Then there's that cop you told me was an old boyfriend of Kate's, Tom Demming."

"Rick's supposed to say something nice about him on the video?" Broom pondered. "He won't like having to do that."

"I'm sure he won't" Mop agreed. "But from what I heard, Kate warned him that if he said anything nasty about Demming, he couldn't expect any fun from her at home, so I'm sure he'll do what she wants. She really does have him by his handle. Oh yeah! One of the women is going to be in it too. I've never seen her. I don't know if you have. Espresso heard Officer Harrison call her Trudy. She works in vice. When Officer Harrison brought her name up, a couple of the cops in the break room whistled. Espresso said Harrison gave them a dirty look."

"It will be interesting to find out who's in it from other precincts and if any of our people win," Broom mused. "If they have women, I wonder why Kate isn't in it."

"Espresso said she was talking to Rick about that. After all the trouble over the pictures on Instagram, she's trying to avoid that kind of attention," Mop informed him.

Broom clacked his loop. "That makes sense."

"That was quite a group of contestants Table told us about," Mop remarked after the janitor wheeled the cart out of the conference room."

"It was," Broom agreed. "I'm not sure I got all of them straight. There were eight that weren't from here."

"That's right," Mop confirmed. "There were two from the Fifty-fourth. Esposito knew both of them, Kyle Pierce and Angel Gonzales. Who names a guy Angel?"

"I don't know," Broom responded, "but according to Table there was no mistaking him for a girl. Then there were the women from the twenty-third, Ginny Murcheson and Bertha Marks. Table said Ginny is really pretty, but Bertha is strong like the men. They took pictures of her with weights."

"Then there were the three from CSU: Tina Chu, Morrie Bernstein, and Don McMillan," Mop continued, "Table thought they were more interested in looking smart than strong. They had long white coats and they took pictures with their glasses on."

"Don't forget those two guys from ESU, Buck Walker and Cash Pertwee, that posed in their armor with guns," Broom reminded him. "Table said Esposito came in and watched while their pictures were taken. Table thought Esposito looked a little jealous."

"I think the funniest thing is that they had that doctor no one can stand, Perlmutter, come in and pose with his tools from the morgue." Mop recalled. "I'm not sure why. I don't think he actually works for the N.Y.P.D.."

"He works with them, like Doctor Lanie does," Broom pointed out. "From what I hear, he doesn't like Rick at all. Rick probably had as hard a time saying nice things about him as he did saying them about Demming.

"So you want to make a bet about who gets the cover?" Mop asked. "If I win, you don't say anything about how much I like the fun stuff for a week."

Broom flicked his handle toward Mop. "Alright, but if I win, you don't talk about any of that stuff for a week."

Mop swayed on his tendrils. "We have a bet. Who do you pick?"

"I'm going to pick Bertha," Broom decided. "It's nice that she's as strong as the men. How about you?"

Mop's tendrils curled in thought. "I'm picking Trudy. She caused the biggest stir in the break room."

* * *

"So did Wastebasket know the results?" Mop inquired anxiously as the janitor returned him to the cart.

"He did," Broom reported, scratching his bristles against the plastic. "Neither one of us won the bet. I can't figure out how people made the choice they did."

"Why?" Mop queried. "Who did they choose?"

"From what Wastebasket said, Rick was pretty disgusted when Kate told him who won."

"Who?" Mop prodded, fluttering his tendrils impatiently.

Broom clacked his loop. "They chose Perlmutter, and Rick is sure that Perlmutter will never let Rick forget it."


	40. Chapter 40

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 40

"I haven't seen much of Ryan lately," Mop noted.

"Yeah, I think he's spending a lot of time in Tech," Broom offered. "Espresso told me that he comes into the break room and kind of gulps his coffee down and leaves again. He thinks it's the same reason Tory didn't take her coffee back to work with her. They don't like it around the equipment in there. He has been taking that course. He may just be using whatever chance he has to practice."

"I never understood why he needed to take it," Mop puzzled. "He's a great detective. Why would he need to study computers? He's already better with them than most of the other detectives. He's usually the one who spots things on video footage."

"I think that's the point," Broom explained. "He is good with computers. He also has Jenny and Sarah Grace to think about. He works very hard to take care of them. You know about all those other jobs he's taken."

"Yeah," Mop acknowledged. "There've been some pretty funny stories out of those, especially when he was working in the strip joint."

Broom clacked impatiently "I'm not talking about funny stories. He did all those things for his family. Board heard him talking to Esposito about Jenny being worried that he's still on the streets so much. Working more on computers would keep him safer. She'd like that."

"But he and Esposito would still be partners, right?" Mop asked anxiously.

"I suppose so, at least for now," Broom replied. "I guess we'll have to see what happens."

* * *

"What happened?" Mop asked as Broom was returned to the Janitor's Cart. "Why are all the daytime detectives still here? Did Wastebasket know?"

Broom swayed in his perch. "He did. It's all about Ryan. Wastebasket heard the whole story when Kate called Jenny. Ryan was at Computer Mart. Jenny said he was there looking for some equipment he could use at home. Anyway, Kate told her that some nutbar named Mark Ludd came in waving a gun and claiming that the internet ruined his life. Someone started emailing his girlfriend Clementine, pretending to be him. Whoever it was, said all kinds of terrible things and Clementine broke up with Mark. He's holding everyone at the store hostage until they figure out some way to get him back with her. The hostage rescue unit has been trying to find her, but they haven't been able to. Some of Clementine's friends told them she was so scared of Mark, that she decided to disappear for a while and no one knows where she is. So everyone in the store is stuck, including Ryan."

"Can't Ryan do something?" Mop wondered. "I thought the cops all carry guns, even when they're off duty."

"No one knows," Broom responded helplessly.

* * *

"So what did you hear?" Broom questioned as Mop was returned from the Men's Room.

"There were a lot of guys in there, that happens when they work Espresso hard. They were talking about HRU trying to get a camera into the computer store. They said they drilled in but there was too much interference to get a clear picture or sound. Some people from Tech have gone down there to try to help them. They still don't know anything about Ryan, but the good news is that no one has heard any shots fired either. So they don't think anyone's been hurt."

"Is Jenny here somewhere?" Broom inquired. "She must be scared to death."

"She's in Kate's office," Mop related. "I saw her when I was brought back here. I didn't hear anything though. I was carried by too fast."

Broom scratched his tendrils hard against the floor of the Janitor's closet. "Master Cleaner!"

* * *

Mop splayed on a floor slightly damp from his coffee soaked tendrils. "I didn't expect that. Rick doesn't usually spill coffee - well not that much of it."

Broom inclined his handle. "What happened?"

"Espresso said Rick and Esposito were making coffee for Kate and Jenny," Mop explained. "Esposito was talking about the video feed Tech helped HRU get, saying it showed five hostages, including a little girl, between Ryan and Ludd. Esposito thinks that's why Ryan hasn't tried to use his gun. Ryan's probably afraid a hostage would get caught in the crossfire. Rick was wondering if Ryan was picturing Sarah Grace there. He said he'd picture Alexis. That's when he dropped a coffee mug. Esposito told Rick that as good a cop Ryan is, he's sure that Ryan will figure something out. Esposito thinks it's just a matter of time."

Broom's handle swayed against the wall. "Well I hope so."

* * *

"It's been a long time since Ryan and Jenny have been back here," Mop recalled. "That was really nice."

"Even though they didn't do much of your fun stuff?" Broom inquired in surprise.

"Yeah, but it was a great story," Mop remarked. "Ryan managed to grab a can of screen cleaner and hide it in the back of his pants. Then he started telling Ludd about how he broke up with a girl he'd been with for a year and a half, but it was the best thing that ever happened to him, because he met Jenny. He told him about their marriage and about Sarah Grace. He offered to show him pictures of Jenny and Sarah Grace and when Ludd got close enough, Ryan shot him in the eyes with the screen cleaner. Ludd dropped his gun and Ryan took him down. No one was hurt and not a shot was fired. Then Jenny did give him that great kiss."

Broom's straws fluttered. "I knew you'd get to that, but I think they came back here for the rest of what they talked about."

"What do you mean?" Mop puzzled.

Broom clacked his loop impatiently. "I mean about Ryan and the computers. He was telling Jenny that he was trying to find a way to be safer, to make sure he was around for her and Sarah Grace. But it didn't work out that way. He stumbled into a dangerous situation because he wanted to work with computers. He was thinking that there's no such thing as a safe job or a safe place and they'd just have to learn to live with that."

"It didn't look to me like Jenny liked that idea very much," Mop opined.

"Me either," Broom admitted. "But he did say that he would do his best to keep everyone safe and stay safe himself, whatever he was doing."

Mop swished. "Yeah, that's when she kissed him."

"And he also said he was going to continue his computer course," Broom added. "He likes it and thinks it might lead to something they haven't even thought about yet. Jenny seemed fine with that."

Mop twirled a tendril. "Yeah, I was surprised that didn't lead to another kiss - or more."

"They are married. They can do that at home," Broom pointed out.

"Yeah," Mop mused, his handle twisting in its socket, "I wonder if Jenny has a hairbrush."

Broom's handle slammed against the wall. "Hopeless!"


	41. Chapter 41

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 41

"What's a cyber attack?" Mop asked.

"Something to do with computers, why?" Broom queried.

"Espresso said Kate yelled for everyone to get to the bullpen," Mop reported. "That's why they needed me. They went so fast that Bruce left Espresso's spigot open. Everyone was gone a long time and when some of the detectives finally came back to the break room, they said Tory called and warned Kate of a cyber attack on the N.Y.P.D.. All the computers had to be taken offline. The detectives were feeling pretty helpless. They just have their phones and their paper files."

So what are they going to do?" Broom wondered.

Mop flicked a drop of water from his tendril. "Kate told everyone that if they had computer equipment at home they could go work with it, as long as they didn't connect to the N.Y.P.D.. She said they probably couldn't anyway, because the task force shut something called servers down until they can figure out what's going on. A lot of the detectives are going out to work on a canvass. She's staying at the precinct and keeping in touch with Tory, but she told Rick to go home so he could research the current case. Ryan is going home too."

"What is the current case?" Broom asked.

"Wow, and you think I don't pay attention," Mop replied. "Someone had been putting poisoned cheese burritos into dumpsters. The homeless are eating them and dying."

"So what has that got to do with computers?" Broom puzzled.

Mop shook his tendrils, sending a fine spray in Broom's direction."As far as anyone knows, it has absolutely nothing to do with computers. The case and the attack have nothing to do with each other. Keep up bristle head!"

* * *

"This place is so empty it echoes," Mop complained as Janitor emptied Bucket and put Mop back on the cart."

"That is what happens when almost everyone is either home or out on a canvass, wet head," Broom explained haughtily. "Even Kate went home. There isn't much for her to manage here. The lieutenant from downstairs can do it fine. Since Rick's been working at the loft, maybe she's working with him."

"Now that," Mop decided, "paints a nice picture. Brush may get a treat tonight."

"I can't believe it!" Broom exclaimed. "People are dying out there and all you're thinking about is Brush may get to watch Rick and Kate having your kind of fun?"

"No," Mop corrected. "I'm thinking about when Brush tells me about Rick and Kate having my kind of fun."

Broom's handle smacked against the floor as he tumbled from his perch.

* * *

Broom's straws lay smoothly. "Oh that's better. I don't even mind the extra doughnut crumbs. The computer system is running and all the detectives are back."

"So do they know anything about who attacked the computers or who's putting the poison in the burritos?" Mop asked. "I haven't been out to hear anything since the janitor put us away last night. And did you hear him say something about getting you a new handle? You put a crack in that one when you fell off the cart."

Broom scratched hard against the floor. "And who's fault was that?" he accused. "You and your fun time! But yes, I heard him. I haven't had a new handle in ten years, it might be kind of nice. I'll just have to get used to it. Do you really want to know about non-fun what's going on?"

"Sure," Mop replied. "It's not like I have anything better to think about."

"Well first about the computers, then," Broom began. "Board didn't have that much information. He heard them talking in the bullpen but they didn't write anything on him. It was really Tory's task force's case. From what Board heard, it was some kid whose father had been arrested for what the kid thought was nothing. It was one of those things they call a 'stop and frisk.' The N.Y.P.D. used to do a lot more of them. An old mayor liked them a lot. But anyway, according to the story, when he was stopped, the father told them he hadn't done anything, which was true up to that point. But then he told them where they could put their handles and he was arrested and went to jail. The kid thought his father's record kept him from getting any kind of a decent job, making him too poor to afford any of the stuff his son wanted. So the son, the killer, decided to get his revenge on the N.Y.P.D.. He studied and learned how to hack the N.Y.P.D. computer system. He didn't do a great job of it though. Tory's people saw what he was trying to do. They traced him and caught him. Now he's in jail too. Stupid isn't it? He could have used his skills to earn money like Tory does. Or he could have tried to be something better, like Ryan. Instead his life will probably be even worse than his father's life."

"But what they did to his father wasn't fair," Mop protested. "I can understand why he'd be mad."

"I can too," Broom agreed, "but if there's anything you learn around here, it's that not much is fair for humans. Most of the people who die, or get hurt, or get their stuff taken away, didn't do anything to deserve it. It just happens. People either try to do something good with that, like Kate did when she became a cop after her mother was killed, or they end up making things worse."

"Okay, now that my tendrils are completely limp, what about the poisoned burritos?" Mop asked.

"Well that case was all over Board," Broom related. "Rick did a search for killings with similar patterns. He thought he found some in New Jersey, but they weren't solved and after a while they just stopped. Kate's contacting the people who were on the case in New Jersey to see if she can get more information. Also there were so many cops out canvassing while the computers were down, they got a lot of descriptions of people seen around the dumpsters. Kate has Ryan putting those into his computer. She's hoping he can run a comparison and come up with someone spotted at more than one scene."

"That sounds like a lot of work," Mop observed.

Broom bobbed his cracked handle. "I thought so too. But Board seemed to think he didn't mind."

* * *

Broom's plastic loop snapped almost silently against his new handle. "I hate this! It hardly makes any sound at all. Why did the janitor have to get me such a cheap handle? It's not fair! I'd rather be cracked."

Mop swayed on his tendrils "I guess it isn't just the humans that have to make the best of things that aren't fair," he taunted. "At least that soft thing won't dent your wood. The old one did. So what did you find out in the break room?"

Broom flipped his loop, trying to make a click. "Espresso said Ryan was making a special latte. He seemed pretty proud of himself. He noticed a guy with the description from the canvass, who was seen at three different dumpsters. Now he's got three uniforms working with him to go through video footage in the areas around the murders, to see if they can find a man matching that description. Kate was talking to Rick too. The police in New Jersey found the same fingerprints at three different dumpster scenes, but they weren't in the system, so they didn't get a match. But CSU didn't find those prints at the scenes here. Kate was wondering if it's a different killer, but Rick suggested that the killer might just have started wearing gloves. Kate said she'd tell Ryan's people to look for that on video, but she thought they'd notice anyway if someone was wearing gloves in August. CSU is also going back through the stuff from the dumpsters looking for gloves they can print for comparison. Kate seemed pretty glad there are some decent leads now."

Mop curled his tendrils. "Ooh, I like it when Kate gets happy. That's when she and Rick have the most fun."

Broom tried vainly to clack in reproof.

* * *

Mop flipped his tendrils hard enough to throw his handle against the edge of the metal shelf. "You've got yourself a little dent there," Broom pointed out with satisfaction.

"I don't care!" Mop declared, his handle spinning joyfully. "That was so good! Ryan's team found their guy on video from when he used his card at an ATM. His fingerprints matched the ones off the inside of the gloves CSU found in the dumpsters and they were the same ones as from New Jersey. Ryan and Esposito went to get the Burrito Killer and when they picked him up he confessed, claiming he was just ridding the world of vermin. Kate just couldn't wait to celebrate. I think Rick was even surprised at how excited she was, but he loved it. He was grinning all the time he was complaining that she tore his shirt and he'd have to go back to the loft to change."

Broom's new loop fell against the wall with a faint thunk. "Well I hope he does better with change than I did,"


	42. Chapter 42

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 42

"It's all wrong!" Mop declared. "We're supposed to do the Men's Room first, not the Ladies Room. Where is our janitor? Who's pushing this cart?"

"As usual you were only paying attention to your fun things," Broom reproved him. "Janitor has been mumbling for weeks about his vacation in wine country and when he was on the phone with his wife, he said something about California. He's only been gone about two weeks when he's taken vacation before. That's no big deal. And if you look at her shirt, it looks like the name of the woman filling in for him is Suzi. It seems like she's doing a good job, too. I don't see her leaving any dust or streaks behind, so quit complaining." The cart was pushed into the break room. "Wait a minute, what's that?""

"It looks like some kind of sheet she's putting over a flat thing attached to a handle," Mop replied. "Oh, she's doing some of your work with it. It's really picking up some of those little crumbs you can't get. Look's like someone knows how to do a better job than you do. I'm going to speak to it."

"Don't you dare!" Broom ordered to no effect as Mop introduced himself.

"I'm Static," the new denizen of the cart announced cheerfully. "I'm very good at picking up hair and other stuff that you guys don't get as well."

"We've always done a great job," Broom protested, "and the cart is full enough."

"Oh don't be such a dust catcher," Mop remarked. "There's plenty of room. Anyway, it's less work for you. What's you problem?"

Broom settled back in his spot, the plastic of his loop extending in a pout. "No problem, I guess."

* * *

What is the matter with you?" Mop demanded. "Your straws have been stiff all day."

"Nothing." Broom insisted.

"Oh please, I've heard that from Rick and Kate. Nothing is never nothing," Mop asserted. "What's twisting your handle?"

"Alright," Broom capitulated grudgingly. "Static has been getting all the trips to the break room. I haven't gotten to hear anything or talk to Espresso. I have no idea what's going on. And now she's there again."

Mop swayed knowingly. "So now it all comes out. You just love hearing all the gossip in there. So, bristle head, why not just ask Static when she gets back? I'm sure Espresso is talking to her. When has he ever been able to shut his steamer?"

"I suppose I'll have to," Broom admitted regretfully.

* * *

"That Espresso sure has a lot of news," Static observed as she was returned to the Janitor's closet.

"Tell me about it," Broom replied.

"Okay," Static responded airily. "I don't know who any of the people he's talking about are yet, so you'll have to fill me in. He talks a lot about Rick and Kate."

"He's not the only one," Broom commented dryly. "Kate is Kate Beckett. She's acting as captain right now. Rick is her husband, Richard Castle. He's a writer who also consults with the N.Y.P.D.. He's been her partner here for seven years but they've been married less than one."

Mop twirled his tendrils appreciatively. "And they act it too. They come in here for some good fun sometimes."

"I'm not sure what you mean by fun," Static puzzled, "but Espresso was talking about a murder. He thought the victim was someone Rick knew. He said he was an author. I guess that's like Rick. The victim's name is Kene Boonz. Someone stabbed him with a pen broken off something called a Poe Award. Espresso said Rick was telling Kate that Boonz won it five years before Rick did."

"Yeah," Broom acknowledged, "Rick won one of those a few months ago. It was a big deal around here. A lot of people from the precinct went to the awards ceremony. Of course it wasn't as big a deal as the serial killer Rick killed around the same time."

Static fluttered the edge of her cleaning cloth. "Rick kills serial killers? I though cops did that. No wonder Espresso talks about him so much. He sounds interesting. Anyway Espresso told me Rick and Kate were talking about Boonz' murder. Kate thinks Boonz' boyfriend Anthony did it. She says he has no alibi and a bunch of people saw them fighting in a restaurant. Rick doesn't think Anthony did it. He says he's known them a long time and he doesn't think Anthony's a killer."

"Who does Rick think did it?" Mop asked. "He usually has some pretty fun theories."

Espresso said Rick told Kate that Boonz usually bases his cases on real murders. He said Boonz was talking about one at a poker game a couple of weeks ago. The police never solved it but Boonz said he knew who the killer was. Rick said he thought Boonz was killed by the murderer Boonz was writing his book about, but Boonz never said who it was. He told Rick and the other guys at the poker game they'd have to wait until the book comes out. Rick is going through Boonz' notes to see if he can figure out who Boonz was talking about. Oh, who are Esposito and Ryan?" Static inquired.

"Why?" Broom queried.

"C'mon," Mop interrupted, "you can just tell her. Esposito and Ryan are detectives. They're partners and friends with Rick and Kate. You'll be probably be seeing them and hearing about them a lot. Esposito eats a lot of doughnuts. Broom has been cleaning up his crumbs. You'll probably be doing that too. Sometimes Ryan brings some things his wife Jenny makes and puts them out for the other cops in the break room. We get clean-up from those too. What did Espresso say about them?"

"Just that Kate has them investigating Anthony," Static replied. "It sounded like Esposito, at least, agrees with Kate that Anthony is probably the murderer."

Mop inclined his handle. "Uh huh, that's what usually happens. Esposito usually agrees with Kate and Ryan usually agrees with Rick."

"So who's right?" Static wondered.

"Sometimes neither one of them," Broom responded, "especially at the beginning of a case, but if it's just a matter of figuring out a story, usually Rick is. That's why the N.Y.P.D. lets him hang around."

Mop swished his tendrils. "That's not why Kate lets him hang around."

Broom flipped his loop with frustratingly quiet results. "Just ignore him. He has one track tendrils."

* * *

"What did Wastebasket tell you?" Mop asked after Suzi parked the cart in the hall.

"He said that Rick thinks he knows who Boonz was writing about, but he told Kate he'd have to go to California to check it out. She wanted to go with him, but she can't because she has to stay here and be captain. He said Kate seemed upset about Rick going by himself. She wanted him to at least take Alexis, to keep him out of trouble," Broom relayed.

"Is he going to?" Mop wondered.

"Broom rusted his bristles. "Wastebasket didn't know. He said Rick was going to talk to Alexis."

* * *

"I'm glad Rick's back," Mop said, settling on slightly damp tendrils.

"He always is," Broom noted to Static, his straws fluttering.

"I mean I'm glad he's back safely," Mop retorted, "especially since Alexis was busy with some new projects and couldn't go with him. Bad things seem to happen when he and Kate go off by themselves. Oh!" Mop exclaimed to Static, "that is Rick and Kate coming now. You may get to see what the real fun is back here."

* * *

Mop's tendrils twined as he twisted his handle toward Static. "So what did you think?"

"That Boonz found out the murder was committed to cover up that an actor was stealing water for his ranch in California and the actor's publicist killed him? That was pretty fascinating," Static mused.

"Not that!" Mop exclaimed. "What did you think about what Rick and Kate were doing after they talked about that, and how worried she was while he was gone. All the stuff he did to comfort her and then how they - comforted each other."

"Seemed kind of messy," Static offered. "There's that sticky mark in the door. Suzi should probably spray that with something tonight. I like Rick and Kate better when they're just talking about solving murders."

Mop settled dejectedly against the wall. "Oh no! Now there are two of you."

A/N I didn't really intend to make the name of the new character sound like Stana. Static is actually more of a description of how Swiffers® work. It just came out that way.


	43. Chapter 43

A/N Spoiler alert! I've incorporated the newest spoilers as to what the set-up is going to be for season eight. Consider yourselves warned.

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth:

Chapter 43

"Wow did you hear that?" Broom exclaimed as the cart was wheeled out of Kate's office.

"Couldn't exactly miss it," Mop replied. "The way the words rolled around inside Wastebasket before Suzi dumped him, it echoed through the room. So Captain Gates is better. I'm really glad to hear that. And she'll be at 1PP as Kate's boss? That's great! At least she likes Kate, which seems to be more than can be said for some of the idiots down there."

"You didn't miss the part about Kate being made captain permanently, did you?" Broom inquired. "Wastebasket said she and Rick think they're going to have a lot to discuss about that."

Mop swayed happily. "I do love their discussions, especially when they have them in the Janitor's Closet."

"It's better when they have them in the break room or her office," Static piped up. "They keep their clothes on and there's less mess afterward."

"You two just can't appreciate a good show," Mop mourned. "Wastebasket did say something about Captain Gates, I guess she's Deputy Chief Gates now, coming back to the Twelfth to officially give Kate her captain's badge. They'll probably have a little party or something. That sounds like a big clean-up before and afterward. I hope some human has remembered to tell Suzi."

"There may be a party here, but if I know Rick, there'll be a bigger one at The Old Haunt," Broom offered. "He does love to celebrate and the cops love to join him."

"What's The Old Haunt?" Static asked.

"It's a bar Rick owns," Mop replied. "We never get to see anything that happens there, but sometimes the cops talk about it and Brush, she's in Kate's purse sometimes, she tells me what goes on there. She's even better at telling me what happens at the loft where Kate and Rick live."

"She tells you way too much about what happens at the loft," Broom put in. "But it can be fun to hear about The Old Haunt. The cops have a good time there and we never have to worry about cleaning up after them."

Did you hear what Vacuum told me?" Broom asked as the occupants of the cart were returned to the Broom closet

"No," Mop replied "I must have still been in Bucket.

Broom fluttered his straws. "Vacuum said Chair thinks he's being retired. With Kate being made captain permanently, someone else will be at her desk in the bullpen, like Detective Sullivan was when she went to Washington D.C.. He doesn't think there's going to be a need for him anymore. If Rick sits with Kate, he'll be in her office."

"Can't Chair just be moved to Kate's office?" Broom asked.

"He doesn't think so," Broom answered regretfully. "Everything in there is new and he doesn't think he'll fit in."

"Well Kate may have other ideas," Mop opined. "Remember when Rick was missing? Janitor tried to move Chair and Kate nearly shot him. She's pretty attached to him."

Broom tried to clack his loop. "Oh Master Cleaner! You're so interested in what Rick and Kate do together, but you miss the obvious. Kate's not attached to Chair, she's attached to Rick. She'll love whatever chair he sits in. I wouldn't be glad to see Chair go though. He knows everything, but says almost nothing. It's the perfect combination. Ooh, it sounds like things are starting out there. I think I recognize Captain, um, Deputy Chief Gates' voice calling everyone into the bullpen."

"That is her," Mop confirmed. "I know Espresso can tell us what happens in the break room but I hope our friends out in the bullpen are paying attention."

* * *

"So what did everyone find out?" Mop asked as he gathered with Broom and Static on the cart as Suzi finished her rounds.

"Well Wastebasket from Esposito's desk said he saw the whole thing," Broom reported. "Everyone stood up very straight and still while Gates made a speech about Kate. Then Gates put a new badge on Kate and they put their hands up to their heads - I think that's called a salute. All the cops applauded after that. Gates told them they were dismissed and they went into the break room."

"Espresso took over from there," Mop added. "He said Ryan and Esposito were talking about how strange it would be that Kate would really be their boss. They were wondering if they'd still be able to joke around with her. Ryan reminded Esposito that they joked around with Montgomery sometimes, but he also told him that he should probably be more polite to Rick, since Rick would really be the boss' husband now. Espresso said Rick and Kate were talking too. Rick was saying that since Kate wasn't going to be on cases as much anymore he was thinking of going back to his PI business. Espresso said Kate didn't look too sure about that, but said she'd have Rick's back if it was what he wanted to do."

"At least if he's working as a PI he won't be banned from the precinct this time," Broom mused. "He and Kate may be able to help each other."

"Yeah, Espresso said that's what Rick was telling Kate," Mop agreed. "They can still run theory on cases. He said they really smiled at each other when they talked about that."

"Wait a minute," Static interrupted. "What's all this stuff about Rick being a PI and being banned from the precinct?"

Broom shook his bristles. "the dirt piles at 1PP thought Rick was involved somehow in the shooting of a dirty cop and wouldn't let him work with the N.Y.P.D. for a while. He became a PI so he could work with Kate again, although it didn't work out quite the way he wanted it to. Then when he figured out how to take down a serial killer who'd kidnapped Kate, they let him back in and he's been here since. But he's used some of his PI stuff to help Kate. He can do that again."

Mop swished. "Broom was right about The Old Haunt. Espresso heard the cops saying that they were going there tonight for free drinks. I'm going to have to talk to Brush as soon as I can. The celebration there will probably be interesting and if Rick and Kate decide to celebrate at the loft, that should be even better."

Broom and Static inclined their handles toward each other in sympathy.

* * *

Mop twirled his tendrils. "I was lucky! Kate was brushing her hair in the Ladies Room when I was cleaning up from that sink that keeps overflowing."

"Maybe Kate can do something about that now," Broom wondered. "She should be able to get a plumber in here. If she can't find it in her budget, I bet Rick would spring for one. He probably spent more on free beer for the cops at the party last night."

"No!" Mop exclaimed. "I don't want it fixed. That's how I get to hear all the good stuff in the Ladies Room. Anyway, Brush said the party at The Old Haunt was nothing unusual except that there was a DJ there, so the piano player didn't play and there wasn't karaoke. She couldn't see anything because she was in Kate's purse the whole time, but she said the music was kind of slow. Kate left her purse on the table, so Brush thought Kate and Rick might have been dancing, She said they like to do that a lot lately. She wasn't sure, but she thought Rick and Kate left pretty early to go back to the loft. They had glasses of some stuff that bubbles with them in the bedroom. They clinked the glasses together and said, 'To Captain Beckett.' Then the good stuff started."

Static smacked her bare head against the floor. "Could you please just stop now? The story has been nice so far. You don't have to ruin it."

Mop splayed his tendrils across the floor. "Broom ruins my fun but you're even worse. Alright, I'll stop, at least until I get to talk to Espresso. At least he knows how to have a good time. I sure hope when Janitor comes back from vacation Suzi takes you with her."

Static rattled her handle. "Yeah, well I love you too."


	44. Chapter 44

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 44

"What's an Amber Alert?" Static asked as she was returned from the break room.

"It's a search for a lost child, a human little one," Broom replied, his straws rustling in concern. "Why? What did you hear in there?"

"Kate and Rick were talking about one for someone named Tanisha. Rick said the family has no money and he is going to offer his services as a PI to the family gratis," Static explained. "From the sound of it, that means free."

"It does," Broom confirmed. "What did Kate say?"

"She told him to be careful, that if someone took Tanisha, they could be dangerous and Rick still isn't allowed to carry a gun." Static's handle swayed. "You'll like this, Mop. Rick promised he'd be careful and Kate kissed him goodbye."

"It's better than nothing," Mop agreed, "but the cops have to be working on this, right?"

"From what Kate said, they are," Static confirmed, "but she said they don't have much to go on. There were no witnesses when Tanisha disappeared."

* * *

"Wow!" Mop exclaimed. "Everyone is applauding out there. I wonder what happened."

"Unless some one drops or spills something before then, we can find out tonight. But I bet Tanisha was found," Broom guessed. "And she's probably all right, or they wouldn't be that happy."

* * *

"So did Wastebasket have the story?" Mop asked as Suzi loaded Static and Broom back on the cart.

Static's head clicked happily. "He did. Tanisha is fine. Rick found her."

"How did he do that if the police couldn't?" Mop questioned.

"Well you know Rick. He thinks outside the usual ways cops do things," Broom offered. "From what Wastebasket heard him telling Kate, he asked Tanisha's parents and teachers who her friends were. Then he took them and their parents to a place called Chuck E. Cheese and played with them there. While he was playing with them, he asked them what Tanisha liked to do. They told him there was a dog in the neighborhood she like to play with, even though she wasn't supposed to, and where Rick could find it. Rick got the dog, took it to where Tanisha was last seen, and let it sniff one of Tanisha's t-shirts he got from her parents. The dog led him to what Rick called a shack. Tanisha was there, tied up, along with another girl. Rick called the police and got the girls out of there. The police took them to the hospital to be checked out and Tanisha is back with her parents."

"What about the other girl?" Mop asked.

"Rick said she's still at the hospital. She hasn't said anything and no one knows who she is. Rick's calling her Gem for now, after a character on _Star Trek_. He thought it was strange," Broom continued, "there is no missing person report on her and her fingerprints aren't on file. He wants Kate to visit Gem at the hospital with him. Wastebasket said Kate was going to do it when she finished her shift tonight."

"The police haven't caught the guy who took Tanisha and Gem either," Static added. "Wastebasket said Kate talked about CSU and fingerprints and DNA. She's hoping they can track him down."

* * *

"Did Espresso hear what happened when Kate and Rick visited Gem at the hospital last night?" Broom queried.

"He said Kate was teasing Rick that the stuffed dog Rick brought was bigger than Gem is," Mop relayed. "Rick said he wanted to give her a dog like the one she liked playing with. He thought it might make her feel better. He thought maybe if she was more comfortable she'd talk, but she didn't. He thought of something else though. He let her try his I-pad. He found out she can read and type. Her real name is Sophie. Rick couldn't get a last name out of her. He thought she probably didn't know and Kate agreed. Rick's going to get Sophie a tablet of her own. He's hoping she'll type or draw something that will help him figure out who she is. Kate told him he'd have to hurry up because Sophie doesn't really need to be in the hospital and Family Services is trying to find a foster family to place her with."

"Rick really likes kids, doesn't he?" Static wondered.

"He does," Broom agreed. "He would love it if he and Kate have a little one of their own."

"From what Brush tells me Kate wants to wait until she gets used to being captain first," Mop put in. "Still Brush thinks they'll do it someday - and so do I."

"You just want to watch them trying," Broom accused.

Mop flicked a tendril. "And what if I do? That doesn't mean they shouldn't. I doubt that I'll get to see much, anyway. Rick isn't in the precinct as much. If there is any show, Brush gets it these days, not us."

Static settled against the wall of the closet. "Master Cleaner knows best."

* * *

"What was Wastebasket's big news?" Mop asked as he joined Broom and Static on the cart.

Broom's bristle's vibrated."Sophie's DNA was rum against other DNA from the shack where they found her. Doctor Lanie thinks the person who put her there might have been her brother. And Lanie thinks they're both children of someone at Rikers. Kate said his name is Clem Hopkins. Wastebasket said she and Rick were going to Rikers to talk to Hopkins. They're hoping to find out where Sophie belongs and where her brother is.

* * *

"Well we didn't need anyone to hear Rick and Kate finish the story of Sophie," Broom declared. "Vacuum saw the whole thing on the screen in the bullpen. After Clem Hopkins went to jail, Sophie and her older brother Murphy lived with their mother Mary in a tiny apartment Mary inherited from her parents. Sophie has never been able to speak and Mary was afraid she'd be abused so she was teaching her at home. Murphy was a little slow too, but he usually managed pretty well. Mary left Sophie with Murphy while she went to the store, but she never came back. She'd been mugged and all her ID taken and she was in a coma in the hospital. Murphy didn't know where his mother was, just that she was gone. He was afraid that if anyone found out, Sophie would be taken away from him so he decided to hide her in the shack. He grabbed Tanisha to keep Sophie company. Clem told Kate and Rick about Mary and the apartment. They found Murphy and then Rick started looking for Mary. He showed her picture to a Nurse McClintock, from an old case he and Kate solved, and he got lucky. Nurse McClintock recognized Mary."

"So what is going to happen to Sophie?" Static demanded impatiently.

"That's the best part!" Broom exclaimed. "Mary woke up and as soon as she's well enough, she can take care of Sophie again. The District Attorney is trying to figure out what to do about Murphy. He kidnapped Tanisha but didn't mean her any harm. The reporter on TV seemed to think something could be worked out that wouldn't be too bad for Murphy."

Mop's tendrils twined. "I bet Kate is really proud of Rick for helping to figure it all out. Really proud."

"I don't think you're going to find out anytime soon," Broom informed him. "Kate was with Deputy Chief Gates at the press conference Vacuum saw."

"Well she's got to go home sometime," Mop retorted. "And when she does... I'll just have to talk to Brush.


	45. Chapter 45

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 45

"Isn't that Ryan coming?" Mop asked.

"It does sound like him," Broom offered. "But there's only one set of footsteps. I wonder why he's coming here by himself?"

Mop, Broom, and Static were quickly fitted into their places in the cart as it was grabbed and wheeled to Kate's office.

* * *

"Did you hear what Wastebasket said about the mess Ryan and Esposito were cleaning up?" Mop wondered as he settled back in his spot in the closet.

"Of course," Broom replied impatiently. "Kate got a phone call and she just swept everything off her desk. He said she screamed 'No!' and her face was wet. She was staring at what she did when Ryan and Esposito ran in to see what was wrong. She said something about Rick being hurt and Ryan told her to go on, that he and Javi would take care of things."

"That must be when Ryan came to get us," Static added. "Not that I was much help. There were china shards everywhere, not to mention all the papers. At least only one of the elephants broke."

"That one was broken before," Broom recalled. "There was something inside it. I got to sweep it up but Gates saved the pieces and Rick had it put back together for Kate. I don't know if it can be put together again. But the question is, can Rick be put together again."

"Of course he can!" Mop insisted. "Lot's of things have happened to him. He's always come out all right. He'll be fine."

Static swayed as she sent silent words to Master Cleaner. Broom inclined his handle. "I think Static has the right idea."

* * *

"Well what did you hear?" Broom anxiously demanded as Mop was returned from the break room.

"Espresso said all the cops have been talking about Rick all day," Mop reported. "Rick was having lunch with a romance writer, a Judith Krunk, to get some background for a book. I guess Jameson Rook is supposed to write romances. I never knew that. It figures, as hot as Rick and Kate get."

"Don't get off the subject," Broom urged. "What happened to Rick that got Kate so upset?"

"Don't shed your bristles," Mop retorted. "I'm telling you. Some guy came up to Judith and accused her of ruining his life by giving his wife unreasonable expectations. Rick told the guy to take off, but he wouldn't, so Rick got up to make the guy leave and the guy pulled a gun, shot Rick, and took off. The cops didn't know how Rick was, just that Kate was at the hospital with Martha and Alexis. They figured Kate would call if there was news."

Broom rustled his straws."Good thing Suzi parked us by Esposito's desk."

"Yeah," Mop agreed, "Chair there heard everything when Kate called. I didn't understand most of what he repeated, something about bone fragments and bleeding, but it didn't sound good."

Static fluttered her cloth. "It sure didn't, but praise Master Cleaner Rick's alive."

"Chair said Kate is going to stay at the hospital until he wakes up," Broom added. "Maybe we'll hear something in the morning, or at least Espresso will. Esposito and Ryan always talk when they get their coffee."

* * *

Mop's tendrils dripped as he was returned. "That was some spill. Karpowski dropped a whole bottle of that stuff that's sticky and bubbles."

"Never mind that! What did you hear about Rick?" Broom prompted. "Did Espresso know anything?"

Mop splayed against the damp floor. "Yeah, he knew. He said it was pretty much all anyone was talking about. Kate was with Rick at the hospital all night and he woke up this morning. I guess Kate told Esposito that Rick almost died, but the doctors think he's going to be all right. The guy who shot him was caught on surveillance at the restaurant. Ryan is already working on tracking him down that way and Esposito was going to interview the staff at the restaurant to see if anyone knew anything about him. The shooter never paid his bill so they can't do anything with credit cards. The cops did the usual canvass but no one saw the guy get into a car or a cab. One witness thought she saw someone who looked like the description, running toward the stairs to the subway."

"Is Kate coming back here?" Static inquired.

"Espresso said Esposito thought Kate might be back later today if Rick is better," Mop relayed. "Esposito was sure she would be on top of everybody until the creep who shot Rick is caught."

"Well what wife wouldn't?" Static commented. "Love is a lot more than your fun stuff, you know. If someone hurts him, they hurt her. I've seen it before in lots of places Suzi's been. The humans care for each other. That's what Master Cleaner wants."

"Well some of them do," Broom interjected. "If they all did, the cops would all be out of a job. Still, Rick and Kate, Ryan and Jenny, a lot of the others, they care for each other a lot. That's the thing worth seeing around here."

Static bobbed her handle in agreement.

* * *

Broom hurriedly settled back into his place in the cart. "Wastebasket said Ryan and Esposito caught the guy who shot Rick. His name is Dick Limpet. Kate brought Judith Kronk in to identify him as the shooter. Judith picked him out from a line-up with no trouble. Rick recognized his picture when Kate showed it to him at the hospital, too. Kate thinks a conviction will be a slam dunk, but Wastebasket heard her tell Esposito that she wished she could just shoot Limpet herself, and he seemed to understand very well."

"So how is Rick? When's he coming back?" Static inquired.

"Kate told Ryan she thought it would be at least a couple of weeks until he's ready to go anywhere," Broom replied. "He'll be at the loft when he leaves the hospital and she and Martha and Alexis are going to take turns taking care of him. She thought they'd get a private nurse too."

Static swayed a little. "I'll probably never see him again, then. Suzi will be leaving when your janitor comes back. She always does and she always takes me with her."

Broom scratched his bristles against the floor. "I'm going to miss you. It's been nice to have someone who thinks the way I do instead of flailing his tendrils about what humans do with their body parts."

Mop clicked his loop softly. "You know Static, straight-handled as you are, I'm going to miss you too."


	46. Chapter 46

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 46

"Sounds like everyone is applauding out there," Mop noticed. "I wonder what happened."

"I bet Rick is here," Broom guessed. "They usually applaud when someone who's been hurt comes back."

"That would be great! There hasn't been much action around here and there hasn't been anything worth hearing from Brush either."

Broom drew himself up on his bristles. "Well I think you're going to be disappointed for a while yet. When humans get hurt, it takes time for them to get back to your kind of fun. Even if Rick and Kate come back here, I doubt you'll see more than a kiss. That's probably why Brush hasn't had anything to tell you."

Mop snapped his tendrils in frustration. "I hope they at least get a good case. With Janitor back and Suzi and Static gone, it's getting pretty boring. Even arguing with Static was better than nothing."

"Janitor has a new uniform," Broom offered. "he has his name on it now like Suzi did. Did you notice? It's Boomer."

"The name sure doesn't fit," Mop mused. "The way he wheels the cart slowly, about the only time he makes any noise is when he's using Vacuum. I don't think he even talks to anyone, except when his wife calls on the phone."

"Well he used to," Broom recalled. "He used to talk to all the cops who were here at night. He used to whistle when he pushed the cart too. Then something happened. It was when Montgomery was here. The cops were yelling about some kind of a leak - not a sink or a toilet. Someone said something they shouldn't have, and a murderer got away. Boomer knew him somehow, they went to school together or something. No one ever proved anything, but a lot of the cops were whispering about cleaning staff looking at files. Since then, Boomer's been very quiet."

"That's a shame," Mop said. "You think they'll ever find out what happened?"

"I don't know," Broom replied. "It's what they call a cold case and they usually don't solve those. But sometimes they do, like the murder of Kate's mother."

"Hey!" Mop exclaimed, "I think that's Kate and Rick coming back here. Those are definitely her heels but his footsteps are a little slow."

"Yeah well humans get like that when they've been hurt," Broom informed him. "I wonder why they need to come back here."

* * *

"That was nice," Broom commented, "even if it wasn't quite your style. Kate just wanted to hold on to him while they talked and she didn't think it would look very captainly."

"I'm glad that's what she thought," Mop replied. "Otherwise we wouldn't have seen anything at all - or heard anything either. Did you hear they were talking about cold cases? Rick thought he could use the time while he's still getting better to go through some of them and see if he could find a new angle. Kate seemed to like the idea."

Broom softly clacked his plastic loop. "She would. It will mean he'll be where she can keep an eye on him. She's worried about him being away from her. He'll probably find something too. He can use a computer to do things on those cases the cops couldn't do, even a few years ago. Knowing Rick, he can probably do it with his phone."

"I hope he does find something," Mop responded. "We certainly can use a little action around here."

* * *

"Wastebasket said Rick found something," Broom reported excitedly when Boomer put him back on the cart. "And I think it might be about Boomer's case. Wastebasket said Rick told Kate that he was looking at a murder involving a leak at the N.Y.P.D. and that it dated back to Montgomery's days as captain. Wouldn't it be great if Rick could help Boomer?"

Mop flicked a tendril. "I wouldn't get much out of Boomer being grateful to Rick - but Kate might be - happy. That could be good."

"If there's ever been anyone more centered on his own handle than you," Broom declared, "I've never met him. We've worked with Boomer for years. He's been good to us. Show some decency."

Mop clacked his loop. "Where's the fun in that?"

* * *

"What did you find out?" Broom asked.

"According to Espresso, Rick's putting a lot more milk in his coffee," Mop reported.

Broom spun his handle in disgust. "Besides that. What about Boomer's case?"

Mop twirled a tendril at Broom's discomfiture. "Rick was telling Ryan that it's slow going. Kate, Ryan, and Esposito weren't originally on it. It was one of Bruce's, along with a Detective McNulty, who isn't here anymore. They had a lot of unis helping them and everyone in the bullpen had access to Board, that's why they thought the leak might have come from Boomer. He could have seen what was on Board when he was cleaning up. The leak could have come from almost anyone. Rick is looking at everyone he can who was here then, to see if anything changed for any of them. It's a lot of work. Ryan told Rick he should take it easy while he's still healing, but Rick really wants to find out what happened. He thinks it might lead to finding out where the murderer is hiding. He knows who it is. It's a guy named J.D. Mitchell. He killed someone named Brody Tompkins when Brody found out J.D. was doing something. I think Rick called it securities fraud. The cops were watching J.D. while they were waiting for a warrant to prove what he'd been doing. They hoped they'd be able to show a solid motive for the murder that way. That's when the leak happened and J.D. disappeared. He hasn't been seen since. Rick thinks J.D. changed his identity. But if he can track down who tipped J.D. off, he might find a link to J.D. and Brody, and his family will finally have some justice."

"That sounds like something Kate would say," Broom observed. "I think Doctor Lanie called it their shared brain thing when they talk alike. She thinks it's cute."

"It is cute," Mop agreed. "I just wish they'd share something else."

"Oh Master Cleaner!" Broom moaned.

* * *

"Board told me Rick's been writing on him again," Broom shared as Boomer returned him to the cart. "There's a picture of J.D. Mitchell up there and Rick drew a line to a picture of a clerk who used to work downstairs, Claire Borden. She's J.D.'s half sister. No one made the connection before now because they have different last names. Rick thinks Claire came up to the bullpen to deliver a file, saw what was on Board and tipped J.D. off. When the N.Y.P.D. started investigating the leak, she found another job. But Rick tracked her down and Kate got a warrant to monitor her email and stuff so they can see if she contacts J.D.. I don't think Boomer knows, though. Board says Boomer hasn't even looked at him. I hope someone lets Boomer know that he's been cleared after all this time. It would be a shame for it to keep weighing him down the way it is."

* * *

"That was quite a celebration they were having with Rick and Kate in the break room," Broom commented. "I haven't seen that many crumbs since the girls were here with their fathers."

"I guess no one spilled anything and Espresso didn't spurt, because I don't know anything about it," Mop complained.

"Well I'm telling you," Broom retorted. "Tech followed some kind of trail through Claire's email to her brother. He was still in the state, hiding out in a little town near the Canadian border, where he thought he could get away fast if he needed to. Kate had the State Troopers pick him up and she sent Bruce and Esposito up to get him. The D.A. is filing murder charges and with all the original evidence plus what Rick dug up, Kate thinks J.D. will go to jail for life. There are some charges against Claire too. Kate said she was going to have Boomer come in early so she can apologize to him on behalf of the N.Y.P.D.. She thinks Montgomery would have done that if he'd known the truth."

"Maybe we'll hear Boomer whistling again," Mop suggested. "I've heard Rick whistle and it's nice. It might be nice to listen to Boomer too."

Broom shook his bristles. "Don't count on it. Rick can carry a tune. But with Boomer, you might hope that when he whistles, your head is in Bucket.


	47. Chapter 47

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 47

"Rick is really worried," Mop reported, flicking the remains of Espresso's spurt from his tendrils.

"I'm surprised you would notice. Usually you don't pay much attention to anything but your fun stuff. What about?" Broom questioned.

"Alexis called. You remember Mercedes, Rick's cousin Gus' daughter? She went to help at some kind of free clinic. I think I heard it's in The South Bronx. Anyway, Alexis hasn't been able to reach her, or the clinic. Alexis said the clinic is supposed to be open all the time, and she was sure something was wrong. So she called Rick. Rick got the call while he was having coffee with Ryan, that's how I heard about it. Ryan told Rick he should ask Kate to send some unis around to check on the clinic. He looked kind of funny when he said it."

"Yeah, he would," Broom mused. "The South Bronx is a dangerous place. I've heard of a lot of bad things happening there."

"Why would anyone want to bother a clinic?" Mop wondered. "From what I've heard, aren't they supposed to help people?"

"Not everything humans do makes sense," Broom replied. "I'd think that would be more than obvious to you by now. Anyway, if Kate did send unis, we'll probably find out what happened from Wastebasket when Boomer makes his rounds tonight."

* * *

"So what did Wastebasket hear?" Mop asked as Boomer returned Broom to his perch on the cart.

"Oh it's not good," Broom relayed. "When Kate had the unis check on the clinic, it was locked, but they looked through a window and saw someone pointing a gun at a bunch of people. The unis thought the hostages were patients and maybe a nurse or a doctor. They called for back-up. The Hostage Rescue Unit went up there and set up a base. Then Kate went up to talk to them. There was a Sergeant Roman in charge. She and Rick have worked with him before."

"What about Rick?" Mop asked.

"Kate said she didn't want him back at a crime scene so soon after his shooting, but he told her if she didn't take him, he'd get there on his own. She took him with her, but Wastebasket was sure she wasn't happy about it. Wastebasket didn't know any more. They might still be at the clinic."

* * *

"Did you hear anything in the Men's Room?" Broom asked.

"Besides Dispenser complaining that the cops are using too many towels?" Mop responded.

Broom rustled his straws impatiently. "Of course. What happened at the clinic?"

"Well Dispenser said some of the cops were talking about what HRU did. They drilled through the wall so they could get a camera in and use something to hear what was going on. Some gang members had some kind of fight and somebody got shot, a guy named Malik. His brother, Jaden, brought him into the clinic for help, but the doctor there didn't have what they needed to fix him. He wanted to call an ambulance for Malik, but Jaden was afraid he'd call the cops and pulled a gun to make the doctor work on Malik with whatever supplies he had. The doctor at the clinic was doing his best, but Malik really needed a hospital. HRU called into the clinic and finally convinced Jaden that if he'd put his gun down, and let everyone go, they'd make sure Malik would get the help he needed."

"How about Mercedes?" Broom asked.

"They didn't say anything about her. Maybe if one of our friends hears Rick or Kate, we'll find out later," Mop offered. "Oh, that sounds like Kate, but I don't hear Rick with her. I wonder why she's coming back here by herself."

* * *

"I like the way Kate curled into herself when she talked to Rick on the phone," Mop commented. "No wonder she came back here to talk to him."

"I was more interested in what she had to say," Broom declared. "It sounded like Rick and Alexis are with Gus and Mercedes. Mercedes was one of the hostages at the clinic and Gus got really frantic. Rick and Alexis can both understand what Gus and Mercedes went through because of what happened when Alexis was kidnapped, but Kate suggested it might be a good idea for Mercedes to see Doctor Burke. He's helped Kate and Rick. I couldn't hear what Rick said, but it sounded like he agreed."

"It did. I thought it was nice when Kate suggested that Rick bring Gus and Mercedes to the loft tonight for dinner too," Mop added. "Rick must have told her he loves her from the way she said it back. Oooh! Brush might see some fun tonight."

Broom's plastic loop hit the wall with a dull tap. "Is that all you can ever think about? Rick might not even be up to that yet and they're both probably pretty tired from the hostage thing at the clinic."

"They've done it when they were tired before," Mop argued. "I think those have been some of the best times - when they've just sort of leaned into each other and gotten excited. I remember this one time after they'd been after a murderer for days and they finally caught him. They were in here and the shelves were shaking and Soap Dispenser was bubbling but after the fun they both fell asleep together, right up against the shelves. That was a great day, especially since they had more fun when they woke up."

Broom's handle slid into a corner. "I give up."

* * *

"So did you find out what happened at the loft last night?" Broom asked hesitantly.

Mop flicked a damp tendril."Not really. Espresso knew about dinner because Rick and Kate were talking about it when Rick was making their lattes, but I haven't been near Brush."

"I meant about the dinner," Broom told him.

"Boring," Mop returned, "but alright. Martha was there. She and Gus really like each other. She has him teaching a course at her acting school now. And of course Rick and Kate, Alexis, and Mercedes were there. Rick and Kate made dinner together. Kate did the salad and Rick made Pasta Carbonara. Both Martha and Alexis really like that. From the sound of it so did Gus and Mercedes. Martha bought dessert, something called cannoli. Mmm, come to think of it Rick and Kate had some of those in here once. He was licking some creamy white stuff off her..."

"Enough!" Broom interjected. "You were supposed to be telling me about dinner."

Mop swayed against the wall. "Wow, you don't even like it when I just remember the fun stuff. I think your new handle's even stiffer than the old one, maybe because of that puny loop. Alright, Rick thought dinner went well and when Alexis took Mercedes up to her room afterward to talk, Kate gave Gus Doctor Burke's card. She thinks there's a good chance he'll get Mercedes to go. Happy now?"

"Yes, thank you," Broom responded.

Mop settled on his tendrils. "Well that makes one of us."


	48. Chapter 48

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 48

Mop's handle twirled merrily as he was returned to the Janitor's Closet. "I know I'll be sorry I asked, but why are you so happy this morning?" Broom inquired.

"Another sink in the Ladies Room overflowed. Kate was in there. She was singing to herself as she was touching up her make-up and brushing her hair. I got to talk to Brush, and boy did she have news! The doctor told Rick he's well enough that he and Kate can start doing all the fun stuff again. Wow, excited as Kate is, maybe Rick will come to the precinct and we'll get to enjoy a show."

Broom sank against the wall. "You mean you'll get to enjoy a show. But if they're not working on a case, why would they do that here? They'd probably want their bed at the loft. If they are going to do anything, Kate will probably meet Rick there. If there's no murder, she can go home at the end of shift."

"That's unfortunately true," Mop agreed grudgingly. "Her little song had something about 'Early, leaving early,' in it. Pile of dirt! Well at least Brush can tell me about it - if I get to see her tomorrow. Oh! What's going on out there? When that many phones ring it usually means there's a case, a big one."

"Kate may not be going home after all," Broom offered. "Captains stay around for big cases."

* * *

"So what happened?" Mop asked, as Broom was returned, crumbs in his bristles.

"I didn't get all of it," Broom replied. "The cops were kind of running into the break room, grabbing coffee and doughnuts and running out again. That's why there were so many crumbs. I was sweeping in the bullpen a little too and I saw the screen. There were pictures of people yelling at each other and fighting and then a reporter showed a scene of shooting. I didn't hear much, but it sounded like there was some kind of demonstration at Altos, one of those clubs in the village where men wear women's things. Then some guys with shaved heads and tattoos came and started shooting. The reporter said there were three confirmed dead so far, and one of the shooters hasn't been caught."

"It sounds really noisy out there," Mop noted.

"Yeah, there are a lot of people here," Broom confirmed. "A lot of them are the men dressed like women. It looks like the detectives are interviewing all the witnesses. It was a lot like this when there was a bombing and they had to talk to all the people there."

"What about Kate? What's she doing? Will she be able to go home?" Mop asked anxiously.

"As usual, I can see what you care about," Broom returned in disgust. "No, I don't think she's going home. There were people going into her office. I think she's helping the detectives interview witnesses. If she has to do anything like what Montgomery and Gates did, she'll have to talk to the mayor and the people at 1PP too. You and Brush will have to put your fun time on hold for a while."

* * *

"Where did all those pizza boxes come from?" Mop wondered as he watched Boomer loading trash bags.

"Wastebasket said Rick brought them," Broom informed him. "All the cops here were so busy, he decided to feed everyone something besides doughnuts. It gave him a minute to say hello to Kate too, although according to Wastebasket, a minute was all they had. Rick told her that he was going to be working for Altos trying to figure out exactly what happened and if there's anything they can do to keep their customers safer. Rick said he might be consulting with a security expert on that, before he gave Kate a special pizza and left."

"What kind of special pizza?" Mop asked.

"Wastebasket didn't know," Broom replied. "All he saw was the empty box, but he said Kate smiled when she opened it. She's still here. Wastebasket thinks she just went to the Ladies Room or to get some coffee, because she left all her stuff in her desk."

"Mounds of dirt!" Mop exclaimed. "She and Rick probably won't even see each other tonight."

Broom tried to make his loop clack his disapproval. "Too bad people getting killed interferes with your entertainment."

* * *

"Is Kate still here?" Broom asked.

"I don't think so," Mop replied, trying to separate tendrils sticky with jelly doughnut drippings. "Espresso said she put her coffee in one of those travel cops instead of a mug. It was decaf, too. That probably means she's going home to rest."

"I wonder if they caught the last shooter," Broom mused.

"Espresso didn't hear anything about it, so probably not," Mop figured.

"Knowing Kate, she'll probably have someone call her if anything happens with that, even if she's sleeping," Broom opined. "Well I hope she can get some rest. I wonder how Rick's doing."

Mop swished his red-stained tendrils. "Yeah, me too. Maybe they can rest together and then..."

"I'm sorry I mentioned it," Broom interrupted. "Wait a minute! Something is happening out there. They turned up the sound on the screen, but I can't make it out. Can you?"

Mop shook his tendrils. "No, I'm all clogged up. I hope Boomer gives me a good rinse tonight. But I can hear them applauding. Maybe they caught the last shooter."

Broom leaned his handle toward the door. "Master Cleaner, I hope so."

* * *

Broom regarded a damp but clean Mop as he was returned to the Janitor's closet. "From the curl in your tendrils I'm guessing you were talking to Brush this morning."

"Oh I was," Mop replied gleefully. "She said Kate's been in the Ladies room using her three times. Kate was mumbling something about bed hair. Brush seemed to think Kate had plenty of time in bed to get it. The cops did catch the last shooter. They had a tip, and get this! He was in another one of those bars and he was dressed in women's things himself. Kate was telling Rick that the shooter had a big green wig over his bald head and was wearing a long dress and six inch heels. That's even higher than the ones Kate wears. Kate was joking with Rick that the shooter wouldn't have made a bad looking woman. It was just too bad he had trouble accepting himself for what he is. He shot a person at the demonstration because he was recognized as doing what he does. He was covering it up and didn't want the guys he was with to know. Rick and Kate thought that was really a shame.

"But then Rick started telling Kate that she'd be beautiful to him if she wore anything - or nothing. So she started to take her clothes off and he helped her. Then she helped him. He was stiff, especially his handle."

Broom's straws flew up in protest. "Oh Master Cleaner!"

"Their bed got a good workout," Mop gleefully continued. "They rolled around a lot kissing and touching each other. Then Brush said Kate was on top of Rick so he could play with her bumps. They didn't even turn the lights out. She was up and down on him until that thing happened like it does with humans and then she just let herself down beside him with her head on his shoulder. Brush thinks Kate doesn't put her head on his chest right now because that's where the scar from his shooting is. They just lay that way for a while, breathing, until Kate finally reached for the box to turn out the lights. Then Brush thinks they went to sleep."

Broom swayed on his bristles. "Well I hope that will keep you satisfied for a while."

"It will do for now," Mop replied. "Until they make it back to the closet."


	49. Chapter 49

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 49

"What do you think is going on outside?" Mop wondered. "There are so many horns honking."

"It is strange," Broom agreed. "I can't remember a traffic tie-up in front of the precinct before. Something must have happened out there. Well, whichever one of us gets put to work first will probably find out, especially if it's in the break room."

"Or someone could come back here," Mop suggested hopefully.

"Well if you're thinking of Rick and Kate, you're out of luck," Broom announced, his bristles rubbing against the wall in self-satisfaction. "Wastebasket told me that Rick called Kate and told her that he'd be working with Altos today. I don't think you'll see much to twine your tendrils about."

"Pile of dirt!" Mop muttered. "This PI stuff is really making a mess of things."

"Speaking of messes," Broom alerted him, "sounds like someone is coming for something now."

* * *

"We have trouble," Mop announced as he was returned only slightly damp, or at least I do."

"What do you mean?" Broom asked. "I already know Rick's not here."

"All that noise outside," Mop informed him, "the cops in the break room said it's something called a broken water main, practically in front of the precinct. A lot of the unis had to go help with traffic, but the worst thing is the faucets have no water. The toilets, the urinals don't either. The cops filled Espresso up from Cooler and they were pretty upset when his spurt got on the floor. They didn't want to waste anything."

"How can they even be here without water?" Broom asked. "Humans use the bathrooms and the sinks in the break rooms all day."

"The guys in the break room said Kate is making up a list of people she can afford to send home. The cops weren't too happy that she said they were going to have to make it up on another shift. But she has to keep some cops around no matter what, and she's staying. They said she's arranging to have some water brought in," Mop related.

"That sounds like something Rick would be good at," Broom commented. "He always seems to be able to get his hands on things."

Mop swished his tendrils. "He certainly does."

"That's not what I meant and you know it!" Broom retorted. "I just meant that whenever the precinct has needed something he's been able to get it for them. I wonder if Kate will call him to help. I know she's trying to let him do his PI work. Of course, knowing Rick, if she tells him what's going on, he'll volunteer."

"Which probably means she won't tell him," Mop offered. "She's like that, you know. She loves to think she can handle everything."

Broom fluttered his straws in amazement. "I had no idea you were that perceptive. But you're right. She's always been that way. It's nearly gotten her killed more than once. But that was putting herself on the line. Now that she's in charge of the precinct, I don't think she'd jeopardize things like that. If she needs help from Rick, she'll probably accept it. But there should be a way she can do it on her own. Captains have a lot of pull. Gates was always managing to get things done around here and Montgomery was really good at getting what he wanted."

"There's something going on out there now," Mop noted. "Sounds like something being wheeled. I think I hear a little splashing sound too. I bet that's the water."

* * *

"What were you doing in the Men's Room?" Broom asked. "And where's Bucket?"

"Oh there's a big thing of water in there. He calls himself Barrel. The cops are using Bucket to get water out of him to work the toilets and the urinals," Mop explained. "They can't dip straight. There was water all over the floor. One of the lady cops used me. They're not using the Ladies Room because there's only a barrel in the Men's Room. She was muttering she'd probably need me again before long. She didn't think the men could do anything without making a mess. From what I've seen, she's probably right."

"What about water for the break room?" Broom asked.

Mop shrugged his tendrils. "I don't know. The subject didn't come up. But something was happening just before I was brought back here. I saw Ryan and Esposito leaving with one of those pieces of paper they have when they get a call about a murder. I think they have a case."

* * *

"So what did Board tell you?" Mop asked as Boomer returned Broom to the cart.

"He said there's a body, a guy named Rupert Bopkey," Broom reported. "He works for the water department."

"There certainly has been a lot going on around here about water," Mop noted. "The sinks and toilets still aren't working yet."

"Yeah," Broom agreed. "That is strange, isn't it?"

* * *

"Hey, the water's back and so is Rick," Mop declared happily, as he was returned to the closet. "Officer Harrison was cleaning up the coffee spill in the break room Boomer didn't get last night, because of his orders not to waste water. Rick brought boxes of croissants which probably means they'll need you later. He was in there making lattes for himself and for Kate. He was telling Ryan that Kate told him about the case and he thinks it's weird it came when the water main broke too. He has a theory that it's all connected somehow."

Broom bobbed his handle. "He always does. Let me guess. Ryan thought it made sense and Esposito thought it was ridiculous."

Mop flicked a tendril. "Actually Esposito was out supervising the canvass. Ryan is here going over Rupert's financials. You know he's still really into all the computer stuff. He was just taking a little break to talk to Rick. He did say he'd check to see if there's actually any evidence to support Rick's theory and Rick teased him that he sounded like Kate."

* * *

Broom shook out his bristles as he settled into place in the closet."Poor Board, he has little flakes of croissant on him. That stuff gets everywhere."

"What did he say about Rupert's murder?" Mop queried.

"He said Rick was right," Broom replied. "There was a connection between the water main break and Rupert's murder. Ryan went though Rupert's computer. Rupert was gathering evidence that the water mains weren't being properly maintained. He had put some tips on a website anonymously accusing someone in the water department of siphoning off the funds that should have been used for repairs. He wrote a letter to the Ledger too, but he hadn't sent it yet when he was killed. Ryan and Rick think he was murdered to keep him from blowing the whistle, but whoever did it couldn't read the letter because it was encrypted. Ryan decrypted it. He's getting really good at that stuff."

"So who killed Rupert?" Mop questioned.

"They don't know yet," Broom responded. "They have to check out employees who had access to funds and to Rupert's computer. Rick finished his work at Altos, so he's going to help Ryan with that."

Mop twirled his tendrils. "Ooh good, he'll be here."

Broom scratched his bristles against the floor. "He'll be working."

"Well you never know when he and Kate might like to take a little break," Mop asserted.

* * *

"So did Wastebasket know if they found Rupert's killer?" Mop asked, flicking the clean water Boomer had been soaking him in off his tendrils as he regained his place on the cart.

"He did," Broom answered. "It was a supervisor at the water department, Alfred Wett. He was stealing money and he was monitoring Rupert's computer. Alfred knew Rupert was the one sending tips to the website and when the water main broke Alfred was sure that he'd be caught if he didn't take Rupert out. Kate was really impressed with the way Rick worked with Ryan to get evidence. She used it to do the interrogation herself and got a confession."

"If she was that happy with Rick, we sure didn't see anything," Mop groused.

Broom swayed on his bristles. "That's because they went in the lounge and closed the blinds. Boomer pulled Tissue Box Cover out of there and he told me about it while Boomer was refilling him."

"And I missed it? Pile of dirt! You have to give me details!" Mop urged.

"No way!" Broom returned triumphantly. "It's not my problem that you were all wet."

Mop flicked all his tendrils, soaking Broom's bristles with a deluge of flying drops. "Fine, bristle head. Now you know what it feels like."


	50. Chapter 50

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 50

"Kate was in the Ladies Room with a little girl," Mop reported.

"Why would a little girl be with Kate?" Broom wondered.

Mop shook his tendrils. I don't know. "They were talking to each other, but I couldn't understand what they said. Neither could Dispenser. It must have been another language. Kate and the girl seemed to understand each other fine, though. Well if there's a kid around, Rick's bound to show up. He always does."

"Even if he does, he and Kate aren't going to bring a kid back here while they do any of your fun stuff," Broom pointed out. "They come back here so they won't be watched."

"You have a point," Mop agreed, disappointed. "But I'm still curious. The cops around here will talk plenty about something like a strange little girl with the captain. Unless everyone is really neat today, including Espresso, we should hear something."

* * *

"So did you have your curiosity satisfied?" Broom asked as Mop was returned to the closet, the ends of his tendrils tinged with brown and smelling of coffee.

"A little. Ryan and Esposito were in there talking," Mop related. "So was Karpowski. They said someone called the police when they saw the little girl running down the street crying. The officers who checked on her and brought her here realized that she spoke Russian. That's why she's with Kate, until they can find out where she came from. Kate speaks Russian too. They said the girl's name is Anna."

"Couldn't Anna tell Kate where she lives?" Broom queried.

"From what I heard," Mop replied, "Anna and her parents just got to New York. They don't live anywhere. She told Kate she was going somewhere with her parents when some men grabbed her mother and father and forced them into a car. Anna's parents told her to run. Ryan and Esposito are waiting for the video from the traffic cams around where Anna was found to check if they can see what happened. They said Rick was here for a little while. He brought Anna what he called nesting dolls. He bought them when he and Kate did another case together. I guess he thought Anna might like to play with them. Anyway, he had a case of his own and he had to leave, but he said he'd be back later."

* * *

"Wow! Wastebasket said Kate and Rick took Anna home with them today," Broom reported as Boomer stuck him back on the cart. "They haven't done anything like that since they took a baby home a couple of years ago."

"Why did they take Anna?" Mop asked.

"From what Wastebasket heard, the video showed Anna's parents being grabbed, but not where they were taken. Kate called Children's Services, they're supposed to take care of kids like Anna, but they didn't have anyone who could speak Russian to her. So Kate talked to Rick about having Anna at the loft with them for the night. He was all for it. Alexis is off in the Hamptons with her friends, so Rick called her and got permission to put Anna in her room. Rick also wanted to take Anna to a Russian restaurant before they went back to the loft so she could have something she'd be comfortable eating. Kate thought that was a good idea. She had one of the unis bring in some noodle soup earlier, but it wasn't the kind Anna was used to and she didn't eat much of it."

"Humans and food," Mop mused. "I'm glad we don't have to worry about eating. We just have to clean up the messes humans make doing it."

"I don't know about that," Broom replied thoughtfully. "Food seems to be a lot of fun for them. Sometimes they seem to enjoy it as much as the stuff you like to watch. Maybe we're missing something."

Mop flicked his tendrils dismissively. "If it's like having that sticky stuff from inside the doughnuts all over my head, they can keep it."

* * *

"Are Kate and Anna here this morning?" Mop asked as Broom was returned from sweeping up a dropped breakfast.

"Kate is," Broom responded. "Kate was telling Karpowski that Rick downloaded an app on his phone that would speak Russian to Anna so he could take her shopping for some new clothes. He's going to bring Anna into the precinct when she has something fresh to wear. He used to take Alexis shopping a lot and he said he knows people at the better kids' stores."

"Rick knows people everywhere," Mop commented. "Brush told me Kate teases him about it."

"It seems to come in handy," Broom observed. "Kate said that after Rick brings Anna in, he'll have to leave to work on a PI case of his own for a while. She also told Karpowski she overheard something at the restaurant last night that made her think the Russian mob may have been involved in the taking of Anna's parents. She said it was something about computer experts and cybercrime. She thought it might be connected, because Anna told Kate that her parents worked with computers. Kate reached out to the FBI to find out about Russians who might be involved in cybercrime. She was waiting to hear something back."

Mop clacked his loop. "That doesn't sound good."

"It isn't." Broom agreed. "Kate had a case involving the Russians years ago. It was before she and Rick were together. A Russian threw someone off a building. Actually, if I recall, Kate was mad at Rick about something when it happened, but she let him help solve the case anyway. They made up after that."

"You were paying a lot of attention to their business," Mop observed, swishing his tendrils.

"I was an interesting case," Broom protested. "The body was stolen. But my point is, the Russians are dangerous. If they have Anna's parents, it's definitely bad news."

* * *

"What's the matter?" Mop asked as Broom was returned to Boomers cart, his straws limp.

Broom sank into his place. "There's a case up on Board. It's Anna's parents. Their bodies were found in the East River. That poor little girl. She's alone in a strange country and she has no one."

"She has Kate and Rick," Mop pointed out. "They can help her. They already have. And what about those Children's Services people?"

"That's not the same as parents," Broom replied sadly. "That little girl is going to have a very hard time."

"Kate and Rick will figure out something. I'm sure of it," Mop declared. "They always do."

"For once," Broom answered, "I hope you're right."


	51. Chapter 51

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 51

"You remember that tall man with the white hair who looks a little like Rick, we've seen hiding around here a couple of times?" Mop asked.

"Yeah," Broom replied. "What about him?"

"Well I was cleaning up after a bottle burst coming out of the machine in the hall, and I thought I saw him looking in from the back stairs. It looked like he was waiting for someone. What do you think he'd be doing here?" Mop wondered.

"I don't know," Broom replied. "It seems like everyone is trying to find out who Anna is and solve the murder of her parents. Maybe he has something to do with it."

"Then why wouldn't he just go see Kate or one of the detectives?" Mop puzzled.

Broom scratched his bristles against the floor. "Like I said, I don't know. But doesn't that sound like Rick's footsteps going in that direction?"

Mop bobbed his handle. "It does, And he doesn't have Kate with him."

* * *

Mop drew himself up on his tendrils. "That's Rick and Kate coming back here together now,"

"It doesn't sound like Anna's with them," Broom noted.

Mop swished happily. "Good! More chance of fun."

* * *

"It's nice that Mercedes studied Russian and can hang out with Anna," Broom offered.

Mop clacked his loop. "Is that what you got out of the conversation? The white haired guy is Rick's father and he's a spy! He contacted Rick because he thought the Russians were trying to recruit Anna's parents to penetrate the American banking system. They didn't want to do it. That's why they left Russia. That's exciting!"

"It's not exciting, it's tragic," Broom rebuked him. "The Karpovs, I think that was their name, were trying to do the right thing and they died for it. Anyway it didn't sound like Rick was glad to see his father. From what he said to Kate, he thought his father was just trying to get information out of him. It sounded like his father's done that before on another murder and Rick wasn't happy that time either."

"But he still gave Rick and Kate a lot more to work with. They know who Anna's parents are now. Kate thought they should see if they can find out if Anna has any relatives in New York. That might have been who the Karpovs were going to see. Rick said he could work on that as a PI. Kate is going to lean on the FBI again to see if she can get information on the banking scheme. She said she was going to contact someone named Richmond that she used to work with. Rick liked that idea. He said Richmond helped save his life when he was poisoned. That was the best part, when Kate kissed Rick and said she was glad he was still around. Too bad they didn't have time to do more than kiss."

Broom smacked his handle against the wall. "I think they have more important things to do."

"It all depends what you think is important," Mop returned.

* * *

Mop shook out his freshly wrung tendrils as Boomer put him back on the cart. "So what did Board have on the murder?"

Richmond came up with a group of Russian hackers the FBI is monitoring. Kate took an N.Y.P.D. squad on a joint operation with the FBI to raid their headquarters," Broom reported. "The CSU found blood, and Doctor Lanie is checking to see if it's a match with Anna's parents. He said she told Kate she should have results some time tomorrow. But Kate didn't want to wait that long. She wanted to interrogate everyone they picked up, for information on the murder."

"I didn't hear a bunch of people being brought in," Mop puzzled. "Did she do it?"

Broom rattled his straws. "I don't think so. Wastebasket told me Kate was really mad about something. She called up Rick and was yelling about f*cking FBI jurisdiction."

"So did Wastebasket hear anything about Rick's investigation of Anna's family?" Mop questioned.

"He said he just heard Kate. He thought she said she'd see Rick later. If Rick found something, he'd probably tell her about it at their loft. Maybe Kate will tell someone about it tomorrow," Broom offered. "Espresso would probably hear it."

Mop twitched a tendril. "Or Brush might hear something tonight."

Broom rustled in disgust. "Something tells me you're not talking about the case."

"Well that too," Mop replied. "Why can't she tell me about the case and the fun? If Kate's that mad, Rick just might want to comfort her. That can lead to the good stuff."

"They do still have Anna staying with them," Broom reminded him.

"You pour more water on me than Boomer does," Mop complained.

* * *

"That's good," Broom declared as the closet door closed behind an exiting Rick and Kate. "Rick found some family for Anna. She has a place to go."

"That's it?" Mop declared incredulously. "That's all you got?"

"Well there was the DNA match Doctor Lanie got. Now Kate can close the case. There's proof the Russian hackers murdered the Karpovs," Broom added.

Mop banged his handle in frustration. "Come on! That's the best show we've had in ages! Rick really seemed to love that skirt Kate was wearing. The way he put his hands up her legs and then..."

"Must you?" Broom interjected.

"Yes!" Mop retorted. "I've been keeping my tendrils tight long enough. Kate was so happy that Rick found a home for Anna and that she could put the case to rest and forget about the FBI. And Rick, well he's obviously feeling better. His handle was the only thing that was stiff. The rest of him couldn't stop moving to touch her and she couldn't stop touching him either, even while they were kissing. And then when Rick got that thing off Kate so he could kiss her bumps, everything on the shelves was paying attention. Soap dispenser was pumping and towels were fluttering. You seem to be the only one who didn't enjoy it. Then when they finally fit together the way humans do, the shelves were shaking and duster was sending up a cloud. The way they collapsed on each other, it was amazing that they had enough energy to put their clothes on again. I think Kate will have to get Brush out of her purse pretty fast too, you could see that Rick had his fingers in her hair. I don't think captains are supposed to look like that. Gates never did, except that one time when she and her husband came in here and..."

"In the name of Master Cleaner stop!" Broom begged. "I saw it all. I heard it all. Okay? If you want to give a recap, give it to Brush next time you talk to her. I'm sure she'll appreciate it."

Mop swayed on his tendrils. "You better believe she will."


	52. Chapter 52

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 52

Boomer pulled out the old container of orange spot remover from the shelf and replaced it with an economy sized one. "That new one doesn't quite fit on the shelf," Broom observed, "I hope it doesn't..."

Mop looked on in horror as the heavy can fell and hit the wires holding Broom's straws together, releasing their contents to the floor. "Broom!" he called, swaying frantically on his tendrils. There was no sound except the softest rustle of loose and mangled bristles.

* * *

Mop regarded his companion on the cart. The handle was the same, with it's soft plastic loop, but on the head, there were none of the familiar scuffs, no dirt deeply embedded from years of hard sweeping, just shiny new wire and stiff unmarked bristles. "Hello," Mop began hesitantly.

The head swiveled in Mop's direction. "Hello. I'm Broomie. I'm new here. I don't know anyone yet. Who are you?"

Mop felt a sad shudder run through his tendrils. His old friend the closet historian, was really gone, and this youngster who'd never moved a speck of dust, had taken his place. Well maybe there was an upside. Maybe Mop could train the new kid to appreciate the finer and more fun things at the precinct. He inclined his handle. "I'm Mop. The human wheeling the cart is Boomer. He uses all of us to clean up around here."

"Oh yes!" Broomie replied enthusiastically. "He screwed me on to my handle. He must work for the Master Cleaner."

"I suppose he does," Mop replied thoughtfully. "But this is the Twelfth Precinct and the humans here work for the New York Police Department. I can tell you about some of them as Boomer works tonight."

* * *

"Where is Broom?" Wastebasket demanded as Boomer wheeled the cart into Kate's office.

Mop shook his tendrils sadly. "It was a terrible accident. His straws are at rest." He swayed slightly toward his new companion. "This is Broomie. He'll be sweeping up from now on."

"I'm going to miss Broom," Wastebasket lamented, as Boomer dumped his contents in the trash bag hanging from the handle of the cart. "He loved to hear everything that happened in here - well almost everything."

"I'll listen," Broomie piped up enthusiastically, as Boomer grabbed him to sweep. "What room is this?"

"This is the office of Captain Kate Beckett," Wastebasket announced proudly. "She's in charge of everything and I get to hear it all."

Broomie's bristle's vibrated as Boomer moved him across the floor. "That sounds exciting. What did she do today?"

"Well actually she was doing a lot of stuff with paper and on her computer. That's that big thing on her desk. But usually it's a lot more interesting than that - especially when she's helping the detectives figure out a case." Boomer returned Broomie to the cart. "You'll see," Wastebasket finished hurriedly.

* * *

Broomie watched from his place in the closet as a hand reached in to return Mop. "Where were you?" he asked.

"The break room," Mop explained. "You saw it last night when you met Espresso. There was a cop who came up from downstairs a little while ago and didn't know how to use Espresso right. He got water all over the floor. I think Espresso spurted a little extra just for fun too. But it was great to be out there. Two detectives, Ryan and Esposito were talking about a new case. You'll see them a lot. Esposito loves doughnuts and you'll be sweeping up the crumbs behind him. But anyway, some big mobster was murdered and he's a friend of Rick's."

"Who's Rick?" Broomie queried.

"Oh you will be seeing a lot of him too - I hope," Mop responded. "He's married to Kate. He used to be Kate's partner when she was a detective. Since she got promoted to captain he can't do that anymore. He works as a PI now. He also writes books. But he's around a lot. He and Kate still talk about cases together."

Broomie scratched his bristles in confusion. "What's a PI?"

"It's a private investigator. It means he can work on cases without the police. But I bet he'll want to work on this one. He and Kate may even come in here to talk about it, or do something that's even more fun. You know what? I think I hear them now. That click, that's the sound of the shoes Kate likes to wear and those other steps are Rick's"

"They walk in rhythm," Broomie noticed.

"That's not all they do in rhythm," Mop remarked, to Broomie's further confusion.

"I understood a little about what they were talking about, I think," Broomie said as Rick and Kate left the closet. "Kate is worried about Rick working on this case because there are mobsters who are dangerous and he's not allowed to carry a gun. What's a gun?"

"A gun is that big black thing that Kate had with the tube on it. It makes a lot of noise and hurts people. Cops are supposed to use them on humans who do something bad, but humans who do something bad use them too. Kate's afraid Rick will get hurt. It's happened before to both of them. That's what those marks on their bodies are," Mop explained.

"Yeah, that's the part I really didn't understand," Broomie confessed. "Why did they take off their coverings and what were they doing? They sounded like they were in pain when they fit together that way, but they were certainly happy when they finished."

"They weren't in pain," Mop assured him. "What they were doing was fun for humans. It's fun to watch too, isn't it?"

"I guess," Broomie mused. "Humans certainly are strange. It looked like they were trying to eat each other. And that handle Rick has that gets hard and soft again, what is that for? We couldn't do any work if our handle's were like that."

Mop twitched a tendril in amusement. "Humans are different. When they act like they're eating each other like that, it can make Rick's handle grow and he can use it to make Kate feel good - very good. Doing that makes him feel good too. Sometimes when humans do what they did, they make little humans."

"Do all the humans at the precinct do that in here, or is it just Rick and Kate?" Broomie wondered.

"Most of the cops here do those fun things someplace else. Rick and Kate often do too these days. They have a place called a loft they live in together. They have a lot of fun there. If you meet Brush, you'll hear all about that. But some of the other humans here have their moments with us," Mop added. "Ryan's been in here with his wife Jenny. Esposito used to come in with Doctor Lanie. You may see her sometime. She and Esposito don't seem to want to be together that way anymore. I don't know why. There are more. We never really know what's going to happen."

"I think I'm really going to enjoy finding out." Broomie decided.

Mop lifted his loop upward. "Thank you, Master Cleaner."


	53. Chapter 53

A/N Thank you to everyone who commented on Broom's demise. It is great to know he made his way into your hearts, or at least your funny bones. I hope you'll like what Broomie brings to the closet.

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 53

"Where were you so long?" Broomie asked, his bristles twitching nervously.

"I was just in interrogation," Mop replied. "That's the room with that big mirror that the cops can actually see through. Boomer used you to sweep up in there last night. Kate was talking to Vera Cardanno, the wife of the dead mobster and Vera spilled her coffee. Officer Harrison, she's one of the cops in blue, used me to sop it up, but she had to go take care of something in the bullpen, so she just left me in a corner instead of putting me back here. She remembered later and came back to get me."

Broomie's bristles scratched lightly across the closet floor. "So you got to hear what Kate and Vera were saying?"

"Sure, but it didn't do much for the case," Mop responded. "Vera was telling Kate - oh Rick was there too. He and Vera know each other, probably because he was friends with Sal, who got killed. Anyway Vera was saying that there was a truce between the families right now because of a marriage that took place. I guess Rick had something to do with that. She didn't know who would come after Sal. She said he was just running his restaurant and it was business as usual. Then Kate told her she'd put Ryan and Esposito on the case and Rick said he was going to look into it too, as a PI. Vera seemed pretty grateful for that."

"So did Rick and Kate do... um you know, anything fun?" Broomie asked hesitantly.

Mop swished his tendrils gleefully. "Broomie, you really are learning fast. But no they didn't. Rick said he'd take Vera home and then go back to his PI office. Well, Kate did brush his hand a little as he was leaving, and tell him she'd see him later."

* * *

"Static?" Mop asked as Boomer added another occupant to the cart.

The flat head swiveled. "No, I'm Maggie. It's short for Dust Magnet. Boomer just bought me." The head swiveled again, toward Broomie. "You look pretty new, too. What's your name?"

"Broomie," He answered shyly. "You are beautiful. I've never seen a green handle before."

Maggie swayed on her plastic grip. "You're not so bad yourself. Your straws and your wires really shine. Not like that guy over there. He's really a mess."

"Excuse me!" Mop interjected. "For your information I've been cleaning up coffee all day. I'm Mop by the way. I know all the dirt around here."

"That's pretty obvious," Maggie returned. "Maybe Boomer will give you a good rinsing."

Mop twisted his tendrils in a pout as Boomer filled Bucket at the utility sink, and stuck Mop into the clean water.

* * *

"Wow, Board really knows a lot, doesn't he?" Broomie exclaimed as Mop was returned to the cart, his tendrils still damp.

"He has been here a long time, longer than I have," Mop admitted. "And of course all the case information is written on him and the detectives talk things out in front of him. He's always been willing to share though," Mop related nostalgically, remembering all the information Broom had passed on. What did he tell you?"

"It was about Sal Cardanno. He said Doctor Lanie did an autopsy. What's that?" Broomie queried.

"That's how doctors find out how someone died," Mop informed him. "She always does one. What about it?"

"From what Board said, Doctor Lanie told Esposito that Sal was killed by a shot to the back of the head. Board said mobsters kill people that way a lot. But Lanie said Sal would have died anyway. He had something called cancer. That it was inoperable. Board didn't really understand that, but he said it sounded bad. When Kate came out of her office to talk to Ryan and Esposito, she thought it was a little strange that his wife didn't mention it. She was sure Vera should have known."

"Husbands don't always tell their wives everything," Mop offered. "Sal might not have told Vera. Rick's kept secrets from Kate sometimes. He never even told her he was studying to be a PI until he got his license. She gets pretty mad at him sometimes when he doesn't tell her things. Brush told me that he doesn't like it when Kate doesn't tell him things, either. But he doesn't usually get as mad about it as she does."

"Well Board said Kate stood right there while she called Rick and asked him to find out what he could from the Cardanno family. He said Esposito made funny noises at that," Broomie recalled.

"Yeah, Esposito makes fun of Rick's work sometimes. It's strange though," Mop mused. "I think Rick has solved more cases than Esposito has, or at least come up with the ideas that led to solving them. Sometimes I think Esposito is jealous or something."

"What's jealous?" Broomie asked.

"That's when one human wants something another human has or wanted to do something another human did," Mop explained. "It's one of the reasons they kill each other."

Broomie's bristles flailed in horror. "You don't think Esposito would kill Rick, do you?"

Mop reached out a tendril. "No, of course not. They're friends. Besides, if Esposito ever tried to hurt Rick, Kate would hurt Esposito - a lot."

Broomie's handle trembled. "Humans can be scary, can't they?"

Maggie fluttered the edge of her cloth."Don't worry. You'll be fine with me."

Broomie's straws smoothed. "Thanks Maggie. I'm glad you're here."

Mop's handle banged against the cart.

* * *

"What did you hear in the break room, Maggie?" Broomie asked when her crumb covered cloth was shed and she was returned to the closet.

"I don't know who people are yet," Maggie answered, her head pivoting. "Who are that tall pretty human woman and the shorter guy with black hair and blue eyes?"

"That's Kate and Ryan," Mop interrupted.

"Well anyway," Maggie continued, her attention on Broomie, "Kate was telling Ryan that Rick said that no one he talked to in the Cardanno family, including Vera, admitted to knowing Sal was sick. But he did think that Mario, Sal's lieutenant was hiding something. Kate told Ryan to run a deep background, whatever that is, on Mario."

"Did Espresso tell you anything?" Mop asked.

"You mean the steamy guy?" Maggie asked.

"Yeah," Mop confirmed. "He always hears everything in there."

"He did spout off, but I couldn't get much over the bubbling," Maggie admitted. "I think it might have been something about needing Rick to come and bring more Flavor Country."

"Not very helpful," Mop observed.

Maggie let her handle fall against Broomie's. "I did the best I could."

Broomie's bristles rustled gently. "I think you did great."


	54. Chapter 54

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 54

"Ooh, I got to talk to Brush while I was cleaning up a sink overflow in the Ladies Room again," Mop announced as he was returned wet but joyful to the closet.

"Oh, I wish I'd get to meet her!" Broomie exclaimed, his handle swaying.

"Why?" Maggie asked, the shiny green of her handle reflecting a stray beam of light from under the door.

Mop flicked a tendril as Broomie nervously explained. "Brush gets to hear and see things in the loft where Kate and Rick live. I want to know what happens there."

"You mean about the cases?" Maggie prodded.

"Well yeah," Broomie responded, "but also the other stuff they do. Um- Mop will tell you."

"I will," Mop declared proudly. "Brush did tell me they talked about the case. Rick thinks Sal kept his illness from Vera and everyone except Mario, the guy who helped him with his business. Mario took him to doctors appointments and treatments and kept the whole thing secret. At the same time Sal was setting things up so his businesses would run smoothly when he was gone. Except for his restaurant, which he really loved, he'd turned most of the day to day operations over to Mario, but nobody knew it, because they were used to Mario passing on Sal's orders. Kate said Ryan found pretty much the same thing as Rick did when he checked on Mario."

"But who killed Sal?" Maggie interrupted.

Mop flattened his tendrils against the floor. "Rick and Kate still don't know. The gun that was used to do it had been used in other crimes, but not for many years. There's no record of who owns it. It looks like the only people who might benefit from Sal's death are Vera and Mario, but they both have alibis - other places they said they were. Kate wanted those rechecked. But none of this is the good stuff. You two don't know this yet, but when Kate and Rick talk about cases together, especially when they're trying to figure them out, they get really turned on."

"What does that mean?" Broomie asked.

"It means they want to do the good stuff," Mop informed him impatiently. "You know, like they did in the closet."

"What are you talking about?" Maggie demanded.

"If you give me a chance, I'll tell you," Mop shot back.

Broomie rattled his bristles and moved his handle defensively in front of Maggie's grip. "You don't have to be mean to Maggie, Mop. Just tell us what Brush said."

"That's what I was trying to do," Mop retorted, drawing himself up on his tendrils. "So anyway, Rick and Kate were talking about the case and they started making suggestions to each other about what might be wrong with the alibis and then Rick grabbed Kate and pulled her against him really tight, as if his handle would fit into her, except they still had their clothes - their coverings - on. Brush said it looked like Kate wanted to get rid of the clothes, as soon as he did that. She started pulling at his belt - that thing that goes around him. Then he started opening her top and they sort of fell on the bed together while they were trying to get everything off."

"What's a bed?" Broomie queried.

"It's a thing humans sleep on. That's when they close their eyes and don't do much for a long time, usually at night," Mop replied, desperately trying to continue with Brush's story as fast as he could. "It's also where they like to have fun with each other. Anyway," he continued, his loop clacking, "they got everything off. Brush said most of it ended up on the floor. Then Rick pulled Kate against him again and they kissed a lot."

"What...?" Maggie started to ask."

"I think that's when it looks like they're eating each other," Broomie put in. "They like it."

"Yes," Mop confirmed, his tendrils tightening. "So they were kissing and Kate had her hands on the back of Rick, where's he's round. That made her kiss him even harder and he played with the bumps she has on her front. Then he kissed those too and she grabbed his handle and brought it to her until they fit together. Then Brush said the bed was making a lot of noise. It was banging against the wall and the floor underneath was creaking. All the things humans usually keep on beds were knocked to the floor too. Brush really thought something was going to break, but it didn't. Kate started to scream and Rick caught the sound of it in his mouth and then they just lay there. They didn't even take themselves apart for a while. Then Rick kissed Kate again and smoothed her hair with his hand. Brush said he told her that if they did it that way again it might just kill him."

"Oh no!" Broomie and Maggie exclaimed together."

Mop fluttered his tendrils in fun. "Brush didn't think he really meant he'd die. He was smiling and said it would be the best way to go he could imagine. Then Kate fit herself against his side and they did the sleep thing."

Maybe we could put our handles together for a while too," Maggie suggested to Broomie.

Broomie was trying to figure out what to say when a hand reached into the closet to grab him.

* * *

"Were you in the break room?" Mop asked.

"Yeah," Broomie replied. "I remember you told me about Esposito and doughnuts. I guess he's not the only cop who likes them. It looked like there was a big box of them in there this morning. Someone threw it in Trash Barrel. But there were crumbs all over and some white stuff. I couldn't get all the white up. It was too small for my bristles. I think Maggie may have to do that later. There were also some tiny colored balls and some bigger brown things. They stuck to my bristles a little bit."

"Those are called sprinkles," Mop explained, trying to move the Broomie's account along. "Kate really likes them. But did you hear anything about the case - or see anything besides sprinkles and a doughnut box?"

"Oh yeah," Broomie recalled. "Espresso filled me in. Ryan was talking to Esposito. He said that when he looked into Mario, he also took a deeper look at Sal's financials. Sal had put a lot of his interests into a trust for Vera and his children and grandchildren. I don't know what that means and neither did Espresso, but he said Ryan acted like it was a good thing. Ryan also said Sal had transferred shares in some of his businesses to Mario. Esposito said that sounded suspicious and Ryan agreed. They said they were going to bring Mario in to question him some more."

"But Brush said Mario had an alibi," Mop objected.

"Uh huh," Ryan and Esposito talked about that," Broomie acknowledged. "They want to talk to him anyway. And before they do that, they're going to recheck his alibi. Even if it holds, they thought he might have gotten someone to kill Sal for him. Do people do that?"

Board told Broom about a lot of times they did," Mop recalled. "He'll probably know what they find out by tonight. Boomer sometimes parks the cart near him. One of us may get a chance to ask."

* * *

"What did Board say?" Mop queried as he untwisted his tendrils from a run through Bucket's wringer.

"You may have to help us understand this," Broomie began hesitantly.

"I will. Just tell me," Mop urged.

"Ryan and Esposito did that rechecking the alibi thing Espresso told Broomie about," Maggie continued for Broomie. "Esposito said Mario was at a party at a bar that Sal owned, but didn't visit much. What's a party? What's a bar?"

"A party is where humans get together to be happy. Believe me, you'll clean up after a lot of them. A bar is where humans drink stuff that makes them a little silly. Sometimes it makes them sick. I've had to clean up after some of the cops who've been to them. For some reason they seemed to think drinking that stuff there was fun." Mop swished his tendrils in bemusement. "So what happened at the bar?"

Broomie picked up the tale from Maggie. "Someone saw Mario slip out to the kitchen for a little while. Board said CSU checked and found Sal's fingerprints in the kitchen. Ryan and Esposito think that Mario met Sal in the kitchen and took him to where the body was found – it wasn't far away - and killed him. So they brought him in for questioning. He just sat there saying nothing, but Kate came in and started talking to him about killing a poor man with cancer and he started to cry. He said Sal asked him to kill him. He claimed that Sal didn't want the business to fall apart while he died slowly and he didn't want Vera to see him waste away. So he asked Mario to kill him. Mario told Kate that Sal gave him the gun. He still had it hidden and it had Sal's fingerprints on it. I don't know what that means, but Board said it turned out to be true and Kate believed what Mario told her. She said she'd let the D.A., whoever that is, figure out how to charge Mario. One thing I really don't understand. If Sal wanted Mario to kill him, is what Mario did a good thing or a bad thing? I really can't figure out humans."

"They really are strange," Maggie agreed.

Mop settled into his place in the cart, his handle sighing against the plastic. "And the more piles of their dirt you go through, the stranger they get."


	55. Chapter 55

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 55

"What's wrong with Rick and Kate?" Broomie wondered as he was returned to the closet. "They're moving really slowly and they have dark things under their eyes. They're sitting in the break room and Espresso said they made much bigger coffees than usual."

"Sounds like they're tired," Mop replied. "Humans look like that sometimes when they don't do enough of the sleep thing. What did they say?"

"I didn't really understand," Broomie confided. "Something about Martha and too many years of stuff."

"Oh, I know," Mop stated authoritatively. "Brush told me this was coming. Martha was supposed to be moving out of Rick and Kate's loft. She must have done it. They probably helped her."

"Who's Martha?" Maggie asked.

"She's Rick's mother. That means she got together with another human to do the handle thing and made Rick," Mop explained.

"Do you know which human?" Broomie asked.

"I just know that he's a tall guy with white hair and he's spy. I don't even know how to explain what that is. He does secret things. He's been around here a few times, hiding." Mop shook his tendrils. "Rick doesn't like him very much. Kate doesn't like him much either. As far as Martha's moving goes, from what I heard from Broom and Brush, someone stole Martha's money a long time ago so she moved in with Rick and his little one, Alexis. Rick and Kate weren't together then. But Martha has money now and she wants to give Rick and Kate a chance to be together by themselves - except for Alexis. So she decided to leave."

"Does that mean Rick and Kate get to do more of the fun stuff?" Broomie inquired.

Mop curled his tendrils thoughtfully. "It might, but we may see even less of it. They'll have more chances to do it at the loft."

"Well Brush can tell us all about it anyway," Broomie declared. "She's terrific."

Maggie rapped her grip against the edge of a shelf. "Not as terrific as you," Broomie added hurriedly. "Oh, I think I hear Rick and Kate. That sounds like the sticks on her shoes."

* * *

"Well that was boring," Mop commented as the couple pushed the door of the closet closed as they left.

Maggie swiveled on her head. "I thought it was sweet, the way Rick put the pads on the floor that way and just held Kate while they closed their eyes together. Was that sleep?"

"Yeah," Mop replied, "except humans usually do it a lot longer than that."

"They did look a lot better when they left," Maggie observed. "It must have been good for them."

Mop clacked his loop grouchily. "Nice for them. It sure didn't do much for me.

Broomie's bristles trembled at the onslaught of sound as the howls of sirens penetrated the wall of the closet. "What is that?"

"The things the cops ride in make noises like that, but not nearly as much. That sounds like things called firetrucks. When there are a lot of those, especially if cops are along, it can mean someone got killed. Kate and the detectives may have some work to do," Mop enthused. "At least there may be something interesting to hear about."

Maggie swiveled in reproof. "That is mean! You want someone to get killed so you're not bored?"

Mop pulled back his tendrils defensively. "Of course I don't want anyone to get killed. What would Master Cleaner think? But if someone does, there's nothing we can do about it. We might as well enjoy the story."

Maggie swiveled back to Broomie. "What do you think?" she demanded.

Bits of dust flicked off the tips of his bristles as he struggled for a response. He was saved as he tumbled to the floor under the assault of vibrations from a horde of running feet.

* * *

"Board has two brothers," Broomie noted as Boomer returned Mop to his cart.

"I've never seen more than one brother before. What could happen to fill three boards?" Mop puzzled.

There were pictures of a building with orange and black coming out of it and lots of bodies," Broomie reported sadly. "Board said ten people died because of a fire and there may be more, because a lot of people were hurt. That's what all the noise was about."

"Board said a warehouse full of chemicals caught fire," Maggie added. "Some of them made more fire when firefighters tried to use water to put it out. How could that happen? What are chemicals?"

Mop's tendrils fluttered in bafflement. "That's what Boomer calls some of the things he uses, but they're fine with water. He puts them in water all the time. Broom never told me about anything like this. Neither have any of the older chairs."

"I think the extinguishers might know about fires," Broomie suggested. "They have the word on them, and pictures too. There's one in the break room, but I've never talked to him."

"I haven't either," Mop admitted. "Of course with Espresso around, who could get a word in edgewise?"

"If I'm in there tomorrow, I'm going to ask him," Maggie declared. "You two should too if you get the chance."

"We probably will," Mop predicted. "When things get busy around here, the cops spill things and drop things like crazy. Rick usually has extra food brought in too. Some of that always ends up on the floor."

* * *

"You weren't kidding about spills and extra food," Maggie remarked. "I've been through three cloths today. The cops are just grabbing stuff out of the break room and taking it back to their desks. Broomie, there's going to be a lot of work for you. There are little bits of chips everywhere. And Mop, there are streaks of red on the floor. I think it's pizza sauce. Boomer will have a lot for you to do tonight."

"Did you talk to Extinguisher?" Broomie queried.

"I did. Once I asked him a question, he really had a lot to say," Maggie related. "He told me there are different kinds of extinguishers. He's pretty proud he's the kind that can be used on any kind of a fire, but some can't. There are some that have water in them that can make some fires worse. He did say something about chemicals. There was something he talked about that makes gas when you get it wet and if fire touches the gas, it explodes. He thought that might have been what happened yesterday. He said there are supposed to be big signs with pictures, to warn firefighters when chemicals like that are around, and that someone didn't do their job."

"Or maybe someone wanted the building to explode," Mop suggested. "Someone could have taken the signs."

Broomie's handle spun. "Who in Master Cleaner's name would do that? That's worse than the biggest dirt pile. Do you really think a human could do something that horrible?"

Mop gathered his tendrils beneath him. "When you've been around here long enough, you'll find out that there are humans who will do just about anything. But there are also humans who will work to stop them. If someone did cause what happened yesterday, Kate and the cops here will do everything they can to catch them, and we'll watch it all.

A/N This was unfortunately inspired by the tragedy in China. I'm deliberately leaving out the name of the chemical I have in mind, which was on site in China. No need for a lesson in arson.


	56. Chapter 56

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 56

"Ryan and Esposito had the newspaper spread out on a table in the break room this morning," Maggie reported. "They were talking about other fires that happened while the one that killed all those people was going on. The buildings were allowed to burn because there weren't enough firefighters to save them. Extinguisher said that happens sometimes. Oh, and Ryan said he was going to put something back here with us. He told Esposito he bought it from a homeless guy who digs stuff out of the trash and makes things with it."

"Yeah, that sounds like him coming now," Mop replied as a hand reached through the door and propped something against the wall.

"Mop!" the new visitor exclaimed joyfully.

Mop looked down at the tiny handled arrival. "Broom? Is that you? What happened?"

"I'm not sure," Broom confided. "I remember that terrible heavy can and my straws coming apart and then nothing - until I was this. Then a man with way too much dirt on him kept me around for a while until he gave me to Ryan. It looks like there've been some changes around here. "Hey, the youngster has my handle. I'd know that floppy loop anywhere."

"Sorry about your handle," Broomie apologized. "Boomer put it on me. I'm Broomie. Mop's told me a lot about you. I'm so glad Master Cleaner brought you back."

Broom shifted his attention to the green handle. "Static? Are you back?"

"That's Maggie," Broomie explained, touching his loop to her grip.

"I see," Broom observed knowingly. "So what else has been happening around here? And I mean cases," he added pointedly to Mop.

"It's terrible!" Maggie exclaimed. "There was a fire and lots of humans died. The cops think it was arson murder. They're trying to figure out who did it."

"Who's on it?" Broom asked.

"Almost everyone in the bullpen," Broomie explained, "but Kate put Ryan and Esposito in charge."

"What about Rick?" Broom queried.

"He hasn't been here much," Mop answered unhappily.

"He's probably working on it anyway," Broom ventured. "He can't leave a case, especially a big one, alone."

* * *

I'm glad Boomer's bringing me along," Broom remarked from a slightly precarious perch on the cart. "I wasn't sure he would. I can't do anything but whisk now. And it was really nice that he parked us near Board. It was so good to talk to him again. He said Ryan is really going at this case on the computer, trying to figure out if the owners of the other buildings that burned the night of the big fire might have been involved. Kate told Ryan that Rick was looking into it too, that he's using contacts the N.Y.P.D. can't. He isn't even telling her who."

"Wasn't she upset about that?" Mop asked. "Usually when Rick refuses to tell her stuff she gets mad and then they don't..."

"Enough of that!" Broom interrupted. "Some things certainly haven't changed while I was gone. Actually Board got the idea that Kate thinks Rick is doing it to protect her. He said she was smiling a little when she talked about it."

"Oh good!" Broomie responded.

"Oh no! Mop, what having you been filling this kid's head with?" Broom demanded.

"His head is just fine!" Maggie declared, rubbing her grip against Broomie's handle.

"I've been gone too long," Broom lamented.

* * *

"Did Espresso know anything more about the case?" Broom asked as Mop was returned to the closet, the sweet smell of cola emanating from his tendrils.

"He did. Rick was here for a while and had coffee with Kate in the break room before he left. He told her that he hadn't found anything about the ownership of the buildings he was looking into, other than they all had different owners. She told him Ryan had found that too and came to the conclusion that they had nothing to do with the fire that killed all those people. But Espresso said Rick disagreed. He told Kate that even though they had different owners, the same people were were trying to acquire the properties for new development. It was disguised through a maze of corporations, but the Spillano family wanted all of them. Espresso said Kate told him she didn't want to know how he found that out, but she had her hand on his face and looked happy when she said it. So Espresso didn't think she was steamed at Rick. It sure didn't sound like she was to me either," Mop added.

"So what was Kate going to do about it?" Broom prompted.

"She told Rick she was going to reach out to the organized crime unit at the FBI. Espresso said Rick groaned at that and muttered something that sounded like 'Sorenson.' But Kate laughed and reminded him that Sorenson got married even before she and Rick did and Rick had nothing to be jealous about. Then she laughed again and said that it might cost her some sprinkles."

"Oh man, those," Broomie complained. "I had enough trouble getting them out of my bristles last time."

"Don't worry about it," Mop comforted, "I don't think Kate meant she'd have sprinkles here. She told Rick she was going to try to meet 'Will', I think that's Sorenson, somewhere. Espresso didn't think Rick was happy about that part."

* * *

Boomer wheeled the cart into interrogation, wiped down the table, and squirted Glass Cleaner on the mirror. "Who did Ryan and Esposito have in here today?" Broom asked Chair.

"Some guy named Sammy something," Chair replied. "They had a file on him for arson. They told him he was seen in the area around a building that burned down the same night as the explosion and that if he admitted he'd been hired by the Spillanos, they'd ask the D.A. to cut him a deal."

"Did he go for it?" Broom wondered.

"No, he said what all of those weaselly ones say, that he wanted his lawyer," Chair answered in disgust. "Ryan and Esposito thought he might deal eventually, but they were going to pressure some other guys the unis turned up in the canvasses around the burned buildings. Esposito said he figured if Sammy didn't flip, they'd find someone else who would."

"Wow, you two understand so much about how things work around here," Broomie marveled.

Broom fluttered his aging straws. "You'll pick it up kid, especially if you don't spend all your time worrying about the stuff Mop calls fun."

"But it is fun!" Broomie protested, slipping the looped end of his handle against the opening in Maggie's grip. "And I think I'm learning something watching it too."

Broom settled tiredly in his place on the cart. "Oh Master Cleaner, give me strength, These two may be worse than Mop and Brush."


	57. Chapter 57

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 57

"Is that Rick and Kate I hear coming?" Broom asked. "I'm missing a few of my straws and some things are fuzzy."

"It is," Mop confirmed. "It's strange though. Kate came into the break room this morning when I was sopping up one of Espresso's spurts. She had her purse with her and Brush told me that Kate and Rick had a really good time at the loft before they got up this morning. They don't usually start again so soon. Not that I'm complaining. It wasn't a big enough spill for Brush to give me many details. Fun stuff would be great."

* * *

"Now I am complaining," Mop declared morosely. "All they did was talk. And I didn't understand a lot of it anyway. They could have done that in Kate's office. Wastebasket could fill us in later when Boomer dumps him."

"What they were saying goes back to something before your time," Broom offered. "Kate was talking about Jimmy the Rat. There was a case involving him years ago. He was a hit man for the Spillano family who became a witness against them. There was a doctor tortured and murdered, who the Feds paid to change Jimmy's face. The Spillanos thought the doctor knew where Jimmy was and they were trying to make him tell. Kate and her team figured out who did it before Jimmy was murdered too. The Feds owed her a favor for that, but she had to keep everything secret. That's why she and Rick were talking in here. She got her favor. The Feds let her send some pictures to Jimmy to see if he recognized anyone. He did. It was someone seen around the building where the big fire was, before it burned. Didn't Kate say his name was Gino Fratelli?"

"She did," Broomie confirmed. "Someone saw him walking away with some large squares of something. Those could have been the pictures Extinguisher told us should have been on the building for the firefighters. It sounded like Kate sent Ryan and Esposito out to bring him in, but she told Rick she wants to break the son of a b*tch herself. I didn't understand the next part. Why was Rick talking about making popcorn?"

"Oh, you'll get used to that," Broom assured him. "Rick likes to eat popcorn, that's some white stuff he makes in Microwave, whenever he's watching anything he thinks is really fun around here. Not Mop's kind of fun! He likes to watch Kate questioning people. He's really proud that she's so good at it. You'll know because you'll probably have to clean up whatever he drops on the floor, or I suppose he might use me. Popcorn's too big for Maggie."

"Ooh, and when he gets really proud of her, that's when they come in here and they have my kind of fun," Mop added, his handle spinning.

Broom scratched against the floor. "You would think of that."

* * *

"So what did Kate get out of Fratelli?" Broom anxiously demanded of Chair as Boomer pushed the cart through the door of interrogation.

"Oh a lot!" Chair exclaimed. "You should have seen her. She put pictures of all the dead firefighters in front of him. Then she told him he was going down for the death of every single one of them and would be in solitary until the day he died. She really scared him. I felt myself get a little wet. I think Boomer's going to have to spray me with something. But then she started to talk really softly. She said she'd help him make deal if he gave up the people behind setting the fire. She just stared at him and kept pushing the pictures one by one, in front of him. I think his hands got really damp because he kept wiping them on his pants. Finally he said alright and she gave him paper and a pen to write everything down. It took a while and she stayed right there with him, shuffling through the pictures and studying something in that black folder she's always carrying around. When Fratelli was done, she had L.T. take him to holding and Rick came in. They hugged and he told her he was going home to open some of her special red wine."

"Ooh! What did she do then?" Mop interrupted.

"She asked him if anyone was still in observation," Chair replied. "And when he told her there wasn't, she put her hands on his round things humans have behind them. She squeezed a little bit and told him she'd meet him at the loft as soon as she finished up the paperwork."

Mop curled his tendrils. "Pile of dirt! Why couldn't they just do something here?"

"She did have work to do," Broom pointed out brusquely. "She is the captain now you know. Remember Gates had to do paperwork like that all the time."

"Yeah, but I didn't care much about that," Mop moped. "She only gave us a show once. If she and her husband did anything else, I never heard about it."

Broom slid to the bottom of the cart in exasperation.

* * *

Broom flicked a bristle. "It's so nice they're using me with Pan in the break room, if someone drops a few crumbs. Espresso gets me all caught up on the case."

"So what did you find out?" Broomie asked.

"Well Kate was complaining to Rick that she had to share everything Fratelli gave her with the Feds, but they arrested six members of the Spillano family and they're charging them all with conspiracy to commit arson and murder. They also arrested four more for actually setting fires. Kate said Sorenson told her it would make a nice little dent in the Spillano family, at least for a little while. But Espresso said Kate told Rick she was just happy she could get justice for all the firefighters and their families. Then Rick said he'd just agreed to work with the mayor on a committee to raise money for a scholarship fund for the firefighters' children. Kate said she thought that was really sweet and said she'd help if he needed her."

Maggie swiveled her grip against Broomie's handle. "I bet she kissed him too."

"Espresso said she did," Broom admitted.

That's really nice. I'm getting to like Kate," Maggie decided, "and not just for the fun stuff. She really seems to want to make things better. She works really hard at it. So does Rick. I think that's why they're so good together. I'd enjoy watching what they do even if they weren't making Mop happy."

"I like the fun stuff, but I think I would too," Broomie agreed.

Broom swayed happily against the floor. "There may be hope for you youngsters yet."


	58. Chapter 58

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 58

"Martha was here," Broom announced to the denizens of the Janitor's Closet. "Espresso said she had a coffee in the break room with Rick and Kate."

"Why was she here?" Mop asked. "She hasn't been around since they were raising money for the childcare center."

"Espresso didn't hear all of the story," Broom explained. "Some of it had to do with that committee Rick's on for scholarships for the firefighters' kids. It sounded like she was helping get some of her theater friends involved with that. Rick was at her new apartment to talk about it. But then she told Rick about a neighbor, Nick Trikonis, she'd become friendly with. She was concerned because she hadn't seen him in several days. Rick went with her to check on him and they found his body. He'd been murdered."

"Oh no!" Maggie exclaimed. "That's awful. I mean Rick must be used to bodies by now but she probably isn't. Finding a dead friend must be hard, too."

"Espresso did say that Rick was holding Martha's hand," Broom offered. "So she probably was upset. Humans hold hands to comfort each other, not just for Mop's fun stuff. And Kate did invite Martha to come stay at the loft for a while while the case was being worked out. Martha said no; she's in rehearsals for a new play and will be at the theater a lot of the time anyway. But she wanted to be updated on the case. Kate said she would."

* * *

"I don't really understand what Board said," Broomie confessed. "If Nick Trikonis was a chemist, he worked with chemicals, right? But it sounded like he was doing something about what humans eat. Did Board say a fat substitute you could fry with? What's frying?"

"Oh, I saw that once when Rick decided he was going to make fresh doughnuts in the break room," Broom recalled. "Mop you were there too. He made a big mess. I think he said what he was doing to the doughnuts was frying. He had a thing he plugged in to heat what he called oil. It made popping noises and got stuff all over when he dropped his doughnuts into it. Captain Gates was pretty mad. She made him use almost everything in the closet to clean it all up."

"If it makes such a mess, why would humans want to do that?" Maggie puzzled.

"I think because it makes their food taste good," Broom opined. "Mess or not, everyone, even Captain Gates seemed to love Rick's doughnuts. But some of the cops did complain that they'd get fat. Maybe that's what Nick was doing. Trying to find a way humans could fry without getting fat."

"I still don't get it," Maggie admitted. "Why would that be a big deal? Why would it be on Board as a motive?"

"With humans, things like that are about money," Broom asserted. "They're almost always about money."

"You must be right," Broomie agreed. "Board said Ryan and Esposito were trying to figure out who would profit by Nick's death."

"Rick probably will too, especially since Nick was Martha's friend," Broom added.

* * *

"I was cleaning up a spilled bag of peanuts by the vending machine and I've never seen so many people walk into interrogation," Broom reported. "They all had those suits like lawyers wear. Kate must be questioning some big shot."

"Was Rick there?" Mop asked.

"I didn't see him," Broom replied, "but I don't think there was room. If he's here, he's probably in Observation. If he sees what happens, he and Kate will probably talk about it afterward."

Mop swished in anticipation. "Maybe they'll come in here."

"They can talk about a case in Kate's office," Broom reminded him. "If they do, we can probably hear about it from Wastebasket tonight. But Rick might not even be here. They may not see each other until they get to the loft tonight. Chair can always tell us what happened in interrogation when Boomer cleans tonight. After all those people were in there, cleaning it should take a while."

Mop settled unhappily on his tendrils. "I guess that's better than nothing."

* * *

"What did Chair say?" Mop queried. "Boomer left me soaking."

"Well I was right about the lawyers," Broom reported. "Interrogation was full of them. They said something about their client, Mr. Dykstra being a very busy man as CEO of Burleigh Foods. They insisted Kate not waste his time. But you know Kate. Chair said she just told them that it would take as long as it took, but the less they interrupted her, the faster it would go. Dykstra said Nick was a nut case and Burleigh had no reason to worry about him because no one took him seriously. Nick had brought a product to Burleigh, but it didn't work."

"Did Kate believe him?" Mop wondered. "She usually knows when people are lying. It drives Rick crazy. She can tell when he's lying but he never knows when she is."

"Why would Rick and Kate lie to each other?" Maggie pondered. "They're so in love."

Broom rustled his straws. "Sometimes that's the reason. Don't bother to try to understand. I've been watching them for years and I haven't figured it out yet. But anyway, Chair said after Dykstra and his lawyers left, Kate muttered something about him being an obnoxious blowhard, but nothing about him being a liar. There've got to be other suspects. We'll probably find out more tomorrow."

"We may find out what happened in the loft tonight too," Mop suggested, flicking the last drops of water from his tendrils. "Kate has been using Brush a lot since she changed her hair color again. She could fill us in on the fun stuff. Maybe we'll get lucky."

"Your idea of lucky!" Broom retorted.

* * *

"Did you talk to Brush?" Broomie asked excitedly.

Mop swayed on the tips of his tendrils. "I did. Kate was in the Locker Room this morning after her workout. I was cleaning up after a nozzle from one of the showers broke and got water all over the floor. Kate was using Brush."

"So what did Brush tell you?" Broomie prompted.

"She said Rick got back really late last night. He climbed into bed after Kate was already there. The lights were out so she couldn't see anything, but she could hear. Kate was still awake and Rick told her that he was following the trail of Trim, a chain of weight loss clinics whose stock took a dive on the rumor of fat free frying. He said that If someone there thought Nick had succeeded, whether he actually had or not, they might want to take him out. Oh and," Mop added, "Rick said Trim contacted Martha at one point as a celebrity who is both mature and trim. They wanted her to make commercials for them. Martha turned them down because she'd wanted to write her own book on staying in shape, but she wrote her one woman show instead. Rick asked her to have her agent make contact with Trim again so she could check the place out."

"Did Brush say what Martha thought of that?" Maggie inquired.

Brush said, at least according to Rick, Martha loved the idea. Then Kate said she was glad Castle didn't want her to do it instead of Martha, because places like Trim give her the creeps. Rick told her she was too perfect to ever need a place like Trim and that's when things got good - at least as far as Brush could hear. She said it sounded like there was at least a lot of kissing before they went to sleep."

Broom twitched his bristles. "I suppose I can be grateful that they didn't turn on the lights."

"I think," Mop returned, "you're the only one here who is."


	59. Chapter 59

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 59

"What were you doing in Kate's office?" Mop asked.

"The candy she keeps in that bowl on her desk was on the floor. Actually I think Rick spilled it," Broom offered. "He was the one who cleaned it up and he offered to buy her another bag. He seemed a little upset."

"About what?" Mop inquired anxiously.

"Well Kate teased him that he could buy her another bag, but he wasn't allowed to eat it, and he started muttering something about before pictures. Kate didn't understand what he was talking about," Broom continued. "So he told her that Trim asked Martha to get him to work with her. He'd be doing a before and after campaign. They wanted to take pictures of him now, for the before. He was insisting that all that is under his shirt is his mighty muscle. Kate put her hand over her mouth. I think she was trying not to laugh. She did tell him that she loves every pound of him, but he could afford to bring home a few less doggy bags from Le Cirque. Then he just said 'Fine!' the way he does when they're arguing, and left. That's why Kate brought me back here herself."

"Oh no!" Mop exclaimed. "That sounds like trouble, the kind that interferes with fun time."

"You really think so?" Broomie questioned.

"You two could worry more about the case," Broom suggested. "So far no one's brought any more suspects in. Trim might not be behind this at all. Ryan and Esposito are supposed to be working on other angles. They could turn up something any time."

* * *

"So did Board have anything new?" Mop asked, as his moist tendrils dampened the cart.

"Esposito and Ryan are looking at Nick's sister, Andrea. They were joint beneficiaries of a trust, but he was draining it for his research," Broom reported. "They thought she might have killed him for the money. He had a girlfriend too. They thought she might know something. She's been out of the city. She didn't even know he was dead. She's supposed to be coming into the precinct tomorrow."

"What about Rick?" Mop inquired, "did he come back? Did he and Kate make up?"

"Wastebasket said something about that," Maggie put in. "He said Kate called Rick a few times but he didn't answer and she had to leave voice mail. She was trying to make up, but Wastebasket said he never heard Rick call her back."

Mop twitched his tendrils. "Pile of dirt!"

* * *

"Was Kate late this morning?" Broom asked. "I thought I heard her heels coming up the back stairs."

"It sounded like her," Mop agreed. "I wonder what happened. She's almost never late - unless she and Rick..."

Maggie swiveled on her head. "I hope they did." She leaned her grip against Broomie's handle. "I hate to think about them fighting."

Mop fluttered his tendrils. "If they made up, I want to know the details. That's some of the most fun stuff they do. I hope I can meet up with Brush today."

"Wait! Do you hear someone being taken to interrogation?" Broom interjected. "Those are some heavy footsteps."

"They are," Mop agreed. "I wonder who it is? I wish someone would spill something. I need to get out of here."

* * *

"Oh Master Cleaner, I should be careful what I wish for," Mop grumbled. "That woman spilled a whole bottle of that brown bubbly stuff on the floor. They should have gotten Wet Vac."

"What woman?" Maggie asked.

"Nick's girlfriend," Mop replied, shaking out his still damp tendrils. "I don't think I've ever seen a woman that big before. She was hanging over the edge of Chair. She was crying too, saying that Nick was the sweetest man ever and she didn't know how anyone could have killed him. She must have used up most of a tissue box. Boomer will probably have to replace it tonight."

"So did you find out anything about the case?" Broom asked.

"Not really," Mop admitted. "Except that Lanie called Esposito as he was bringing me back. She told him she still couldn't identify what the killer had used to bash Nick's head in, but the particulates - whatever those are - she found in the wound, had been identified as cast iron."

* * *

"I finally met Brush!" Maggie declared happily. "Kate was cleaning up a little pink powder from something that fell out of her purse, and Brush was right on Kate's desk. You were right, Broomie. She is great. She told me all about why Kate was late this morning."

Broom flopped against the wall. "Oh no!"

"Don't mind him!" Mop advised. "What did Brush say?"

"She said Kate didn't start out late," Maggie explained. "She got up early, while Rick was still sleeping, and when she came back to the bedroom she had a tray with food on it. She had coffee too, and she waved a mug under Rick's nose to wake him up. Then she told him he could get as many doggy bags from Le Cirque, or anywhere else, as he wanted. Brush said they were feeding each other. Kate bit into something red, Brush thought it was a strawberry. Rick told her she had juice on her face and offered to take care of it. Then he kissed her and she kissed him back. They started rolling around and got some sticky stuff on them from the tray. Kate called it syrup. Rick suggested they could shower it off together. Kate liked that idea a lot. Brush couldn't see or hear what they did in the shower, but she said they were in there a long time. When they came back they were holding hands and they kissed some more before they got dressed. Isn't that sweet?"

"It is," Broomie agreed, rubbing his handle against her grip.

"I knew Rick couldn't stay mad at Kate," Mop asserted proudly.

"There was more," Maggie added. "Rick told Kate that he would be going with Martha to Trim to play along with the celebrity promotion idea. He said he was willing to bear the indignity, if they could pick up some information. Kate congratulated him on his dedication and kissed him again before they both left the loft. Brush said Kate was singing to herself the entire time she was driving to the precinct, something about blue eyes."

Broom's Bristle's twitched. "Hey that sound's like Ryan and Esposito bringing someone else into interrogation. The shoes are clicking like Kate's. It must be a woman."

"You think it's Nick's sister?" Broomie wondered.

"Well unless she spills something that needs mopping up too, we should find out from Chair tonight," Broom replied. "I for one, have heard quite enough for now."


	60. Chapter 60

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 60

"It was Nick's sister Andrea that was here, alright," Chair declared as the occupants of the cart waited while Boomer cleaned the mirror and wiped down the table. "She seemed upset that her brother had been killed, but she hadn't liked all the money he was blowing on his research. Kate questioned her about Burleigh's claim that Nick's product was a failure and Andrea told her it was true. Nick had asked them for development funds, but after they did their own testing, they turned him down flat."

"Did Andrea have an alibi?" Broom asked.

"She said she did," Chair replied. "She was at a board meeting of her own company, Flair. She said they make clothes for plus size women."

"What are those?" Maggie wondered.

"Andrea talked about that a lot," Chair responded. "She said it is any woman size 14W and up, which is seventy percent of the women in the United States. She really perked up when she talked about it too, like it was more important than her brother. And after she was gone, Ryan whispered to Esposito that she might be less than enthusiastic about her brother's work, not just because it would drain her trust, but because it might cut into her business. He thought she had a double motive and even if she didn't kill Nick herself, she might have paid someone to do it. He and Esposito are going to check Andrea's financials."

"What about Nick's girlfriend?" Mop queried, "did Andrea say anything about her?"

"Oh, you must mean Lina. I nearly popped a screw when she was in here," Chair creaked. "I think my padding is still flattened. Andrea said she was trying to help Lina with some clothes that would make her look great, as the big beautiful woman she is, but Lina wanted no part of it. She wants to be normal size. Lina was depending on Nick to help her. She was even giving him some of her money for his research. Andrea doesn't think Lina is thinking straight."

Maggie leaned her handle toward Broomie. "Who would think straight after losing her boyfriend?"

* * *

"Is that pizza sauce on your tendrils?" Broom asked.

"Yeah," Mop replied. "Ryan and Esposito got Andrea's financials. They were going over them in the conference room. They were mad that they couldn't find anything to show she might have paid a hit man, and Esposito dropped a slice on the floor."

"So Andrea isn't a suspect anymore?" Maggie questioned.

"Uh uh," Mop confirmed. "Ryan and Esposito didn't seem too happy about it, but they couldn't find any way she could have done it."

"Well maybe Martha and Rick will find out something at Trim," Broom offered.

"I think Ryan and Esposito are hoping they will," Mop responded.

* * *

"Wow! Espresso really was spraying the water today." Mop related. "The floor in the break room was soaked. I think Espresso was startled because Rick changed the way he's making his lattes. He's using skim milk and he stopped putting sugar in them. Espresso didn't think he liked doing it that way very much though. He said Rick made a face when he tasted one."

"Did Espresso hear about the case?" Broom prompted.

"When doesn't he?" Mop returned. "Martha and Rick were talking to Kate. Rick told her, as demeaning as it is for him to be working with Trim, he doesn't think they're involved with Nick's murder. He sneaked around and found some papers from an employee at Burleigh who was sending information to Trim. Trim knew that Nick's product didn't work and they had nothing to worry about. Their stock starting rising again even before Nick was killed. They had no reason to kill him. Rick was complaining that he was trying to find a reason to leave Trim now, but Martha insisted the program is going to do him a world of good and she isn't going to let him walk away from it."

"Oh Cleaner!" Maggie exclaimed anxiously. "What did Kate say about that?"

"If she said anything, Espresso didn't tell me," Mop replied. "But I guess now that she and Rick have made up, she wants to stay made up. She did talk about the cast iron in the wound on Nick's head. She said they were still trying to figure out where it came from. That's when Rick had an idea. He said that Trim wanted him to stop using butter to make his morning scrambles. They told him that if he had a well seasoned cast iron pan, he wouldn't need it. Rick told Kate he was going to ask her if he could use the pan her Nona used to make eggs in. So he was thinking if he needed a cast iron pan for a diet, he was wondering if Nick was killed by someone on a diet - maybe someone who was really pissed off when a diet didn't work. Kate leaned over the table and kissed him when he came up with that. She said she knew just who it might be."

"Who?" Broom, Maggie, and Broomie chorused.

Mop shook his tendrils. "According to Espresso, she didn't say, but she went out to the bullpen calling for Ryan and Esposito."

* * *

"Oh," Chair groaned to the residents of the cart, as Boomer wiped down the table in interrogation. "You guys are so lucky no one sits on you. If that woman is ever in here again my padding may have to be replaced, or worse, they may have to retire me."

"You mean Lina? Was she here again?" Maggie asked.

"Ryan and Esposito brought her in. Kate joined them for the interrogation, too," Chair added. "She told Lina that they rechecked her alibi and not only was she in the city, but she'd been seen in Nick's building. Ryan and Esposito went back and questioned any of the neighbors who'd been missed in the original canvass of the building. One of them reported seeing Lina not long before Nick was killed. CSU searched the dumpster behind Lina's apartment and found a cast iron skillet with Lina's fingerprints on it and the M.E. identified it as the murder weapon."

"So did Lina confess?" Broom inquired.

"She more than confessed," Chair recounted. "She started to cry. She said she didn't need to be thin like Kate, but she wanted to be comfortable in a chair and be able to buy flattering clothes in a regular store. Nick had promised her that she would be able to eat all the things she really liked and still get thinner, but he was wrong. When he finally confessed that his research was a failure, she lost it and hit him with the pan she kept at his place for diet cooking. Esposito told her she was under arrest and he and Ryan took her to holding.

"Was Rick around?" Mop questioned.

"He must have been behind the mirror," Chair concluded. After Ryan and Esposito left, he came in to talk to Kate. He was bouncing around, proud that the key to the case came out of what he learned at Trim, and said maybe it wouldn't be too bad to lose a few pounds after all. Kate told him whatever he wanted to do was fine with her. But then she smiled and grabbed the part of him where he sits and warned him that if he wanted to keep her happy, not to lose it there. He kissed her and promised he wouldn't."

A/N Just for the record, from the picture of Nathan selling the "I Shoot First" shirts for Kusewera, I don't think he needs to lose a gram. He looks great. Those who've been lucky enough to meet him in person, also tell me he's slimmer than he looks on Castle. The way they shoot him, and some of the clothes they put on him, can be less than flattering sometimes. IMHO that butt should definitely be left intact.


	61. Chapter 61

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 61

"Have you noticed it seems quieter out there?" Broom asked.

"Now that you mention it, it does," Mop agreed. "There don't seem to be as many detectives around."

"I noticed too," Broomie added. "There's a lot less sweeping up to do and the day detectives are only here during the day and the night detectives at night. They used to be here at the same time a lot more."

"And Kate's going home earlier too," Maggie put in. "We really need to ask Wastebasket what's going on."

"Well Boomer should be coming to get us soon. This is his night to dust Kate's office," Broom noted. "He should be parking the cart in there for a while. If Wastebasket knows, he'll have plenty of time to tell us."

* * *

"I've never seen Wastebasket that full," Broom remarked. "Boomer could barely get it all in his bag. Wastebasket seemed relieved to get it all out."

"That's not all he got out," Mop noted. "He went on and on about Kate going through all that paper. She called Rick to complain about the budget and how to keep their closure rate up with no overtime. He said she seemed really upset."

"That explains why there are so few cops," Broom mused. "They always work overtime when they're trying hard to solve a case. Kate likes to stay with them too. I don't know how they're going to catch any killers now."

* * *

"Listen to the noise out there. It sounds like everyone's back," Broomie observed. "I wonder what happened. Do you think Kate solved her problem?"

Broom scrubbed his bristles across the floor. "It doesn't sound like it. Whenever they have everyone up here like that, it usually means something really bad has happened."

"Like what?" Maggie asked.

"Like that terrible fire, or a serial killer, or a cop getting killed. I think the worst was when the bomb exploded in Boylen Plaza," Broom recalled. "All the cops were working on that. What's going on out there sounds a little different. It sounds like just cops, not a lot of witnesses. But it still sounds serious. I don't think anyone will grab us today. I don't think they'll have time. But Board will know everything when Boomer wheels us around tonight."

* * *

"So what did Board say?" Mop asked, untangling his tendrils.

Maggie leaned her handle against Broomie. "It was awful. He said there's a rape and murder gang. Women are terrified to be on the street. There are reports about the attacks on the screen in the bullpen twenty-four hours a day. Board had pictures of women on him and they were..." Her handle trembled in its swivel. "I don't even want to think about it anymore."

Broomie moved against Maggie comfortingly. "Let's just talk about how the cops are going to try to stop it. Kate said all the cops were putting in overtime until every member of the gang is behind bars. Board heard her tell Rick that 1PP is getting so much pressure from the mayor and the press that they're not even worrying about budgets anymore. She can do everything thing she needs to do to make sure the terror stops, and every cop in the city is going to help her."

"Rick is too," Broom added. "He's going to use his contacts to try and find out who the members of the rape gang are. He told Kate that the crime families don't want anything like that going on in their territories either. It's bad for business and endangers their own women. They have their own people trying to get a handle on the problem. He thinks they may be willing to share information."

"Is that Rick and Kate coming back here?" Maggie asked, stirring from her position against the wall in the closet.

"It is," Broom confirmed, "but that sounds a little slow for Kate."

* * *

"I don't think I've ever seen Rick do anything quite like that before," Broom offered as the couple left the closet.

"Why would you want to?" Mop wondered. "They didn't do anything. They hardly even said anything. He told her to take a few minutes to be quiet and just lean on him. All she did was put her head on his chest and breathe."

"You know I think that was the point," Maggie suggested. "He wasn't trying for any fun stuff. She's been working so hard, he just wanted to give her a break. That was really sweet. And she did look better when they left. I think I'm beginning to understand how humans take care of each other."

Broomie swayed on his bristles. "I think I see what you mean. It isn't just the fun stuff."

Mop sank on his tendrils. "Oh Cleaner, just let this case be over so those two can get back to normal. Wait, that sounds like a bunch of cops running. They must have gotten a good lead."

* * *

"What did you find out?" Broom asked as Mop was returned from the Men's Room.

"Besides the fact that Kate's budget problems have kept her from getting the toilet that overflows in there fixed?" Mop asked.

"Obviously," Broom retorted.

"Towel Dispenser has been hearing about the case all morning. He told me that M.E. nobody likes, Perlmutter, got a DNA match off the last victim. The cops in there were talking about it because it was strange. It wasn't from anyone who'd ever been arrested. It was someone whose DNA had been taken by his parents when he was a little one so he could be tracked down in case anything ever happened to him. His name is Mike McElroy. The cops called him a spoiled rich kid. Now Mike's a college student and a member of some exclusive fraternity. That's a group of college boys who live together. Rick got a tip from one of his sources too, that the gang was coming from a college. The cops think the rape and murder gang may be members of the fraternity and they're staking them out."

"Why don't the cops just arrest Mike?" Maggie queried.

"They're afraid if they do, he'll hide behind some expensive lawyer and refuse to talk. Then they wouldn't be able to get the rest of the gang. There are some female cops around the college too who will be going out at night, setting themselves up as potential victims. The cops are hoping to catch the whole gang in the act. Then they won't need Mike or anyone else to talk."

Maggie swayed against Broomie. "Those lady cops are brave."

* * *

Mop shook out his tendrils. "That was some clean-up. The cops must have had a great party."

"Well they deserved it!" Maggie exclaimed. "They caught the gang and from what Espresso says, Kate thinks they have an ironclad case. She's also giving commendations to the women who put themselves on the line to make it. She was really happy that with all the political pressure to prevent crime, the cuts in her budget have been canceled. The cops will be able to do their work properly again. I don't mind picking up some cake crumbs to celebrate that."

Mop swished his tendrils in anticipation. "I wonder if Rick and Kate will be celebrating together?"

"Not here," Broom told him. "Espresso said she and Rick were talking about going back to the loft as soon as the party was over. Nothing for you to watch."

Yeah," Mop replied thoughtfully, "I'll just have to find a way to get it all from Brush."


	62. Chapter 62

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 62

"Who were those two boys Ryan and Esposito had in here?" Broom asked Chair as Boomer scrubbed down the table.

"Marty Mompson and Paul Asner. They reported finding a body," Chair replied. "A guy named Jimmy Stompton had been stabbed to death. They claimed they were on their way to the subway from visiting a friend and saw him in an alley and called 911. He'd been stabbed with a kitchen knife. The boys said they thought he'd been mugged but Ryan and Esposito think there's more to it than that. Ryan said that a kitchen knife is a weapon of opportunity, not something a mugger would use and Esposito told Ryan that Marty and Paul kept looking at each other as if they were trying to get their story straight. He thinks that they're covering up for someone. Ryan's going to pull all the video from the area and Esposito wants to talk to the friend. His name is Harris Boardman."

* * *

"What did Board say?" Mop asked as Boomer returned him to the cart. "Was there more on the Jimmy Stompton murder Chair was telling us about?

"Ryan and Esposito don't think Marty and Paul did it," Broom reported. "Doctor Lanie said Stompton wasn't killed in that alley and she found some signs that Jimmy had sex - the handle thing - or at least tried to. He hadn't finished and he had blood on him that wasn't his. Lanie said it was female. Board said that Lanie and the detectives think he was trying to rape someone who stabbed him and that someone dumped him in that alley."

"It's so awful!" Maggie exclaimed.

"And Stompton had a girlfriend." Broom added. "She's an actress on a soap opera. Her name is Marlie Sondheim. Board had a picture of her. She has really big bumps. To a human, she'd probably be beautiful."

"Did they talk to her?" Mop asked.

"They couldn't find her. She doesn't drive so there's no DMV," Broom explained, "and since she's a celebrity of sorts, her address is kept secret. She's not shooting this week so they couldn't find her at work and they wouldn't give out her address without permission. Ryan was wondering if Martha might be able to help since she knows a lot of soap opera people. He was going to ask Kate if she'd get in touch with her in the morning."

Maggie flicked her cloth. "Well I don't know why they're bothering. If Stompton tried to rape someone, he probably deserved what he got."

"You may be right," Broom agreed. "But it's their job to catch killers, so that's what they have to do."

"Besides," Broomie suggested softly, "If Stompton did try to hurt someone, maybe she needs help. The cops might be able to help her."

Maggie leaned her grip against his handle. "Of course you're right. They should help her."

* * *

"What did Espresso tell you?" Broom asked as Maggie was returned to the closet with flakes of croissant clinging to her cloth.

"Kate was having coffee with Martha. Martha told her that she and Marlie Sondheim have the same agent. Marlie also takes classes once in a while at Martha's school so Martha has an address, but Martha wants to talk to her and see if she can get her to talk to Kate. She thinks Marlie is a pretty fragile person and Ryan and Esposito might not be the best choice to talk to her," Maggie recounted. "Martha said she met Jimmy Stompton once when he picked up Marlie after class. Martha didn't like him much at all. She said he seemed very possessive and controlling. I'm not sure what that means, neither was Espresso, but the way Martha said it, it sounded bad."

"When is Martha supposed to talk to Marlie?" Broom queried.

"Espresso said that she told Kate she'd try to do it before she has to be at the theater this afternoon. There's restaurant that a lot of actors like and Martha's going to meet Marlie there."

"Did Ryan or Esposito come up with anything?" Mop wondered.

"If they did, Espresso didn't hear about it. He said neither one of them got coffee this morning," Maggie replied.

"That's strange," Broom commented. "As much time as Ryan puts in these days with his computer work and everything else, he practically lives on the stuff. He and Esposito must be out on the street somewhere. Maybe Ryan got a lead off the video and they're following it."

"This case seems to be going slowly, doesn't it?" Maggie observed.

"Sometimes it happens that way," Broom offered, "especially if there's a lot of video or financial information they have to go through. But they usually come up with something. When Boomer takes us around tonight someone will know something. You'll see."

* * *

"Marlie Sondheim? I think you must mean the lady who was talking to Kate in here tonight," Tissue Holder responded to Maggie's query. "She told Kate that Martha urged her to come to talk about Jimmy Stompton. She used me a lot, but I don't think she was crying because he was dead. It sounded like she was crying because he was mean to her. I think she might have been glad that he was dead. But she had no idea how it happened. She told Kate that she wasn't in the story arc they were shooting for a couple of days so she took the train to visit her mother on Long Island. She had just come back when Martha called. She hadn't been watching TV or been on the internet. She hadn't even known that Jimmy was dead. But she said it was no great loss to the world. She had been trying to get away from him, but he had threatened to hurt her and her daughter if she left him."

"Her daughter?" Maggie repeated, her cloth fluttering.

"Kate was surprised too," Tissue Holder replied. "Her name is Sarah Goldsmith and she's fifteen. She lives with her father, but he's not around that much, so she visits with Marlie. But she didn't like Jimmy. Marlie told Kate that Sarah only liked to come when Jimmy wasn't around. She said she hadn't seen Sarah in a couple of weeks."

"What did Kate say?" Broom asked.

"Pretty much the normal things," Tissue Holder answered. "She thanked her for coming in, gave her her card and asked her to call if she remembered anything. But after Marlie left, Kate called Rick to talk about it. She said she thought Marlie was hiding something. Kate didn't know what it was, but Marlie seemed very nervous when she talked about her daughter. Kate also wanted to check with Ryan and Esposito first thing in the morning to see what they came up with. Then she told Rick she'd be coming home and asked him to open a bottle of red wine. I don't know what was special about that, but she smiled when she said it."


	63. Chapter 63

Mop and Broom: Tales of the Twelfth

Chapter 63

"I'm still a little damp," Mop complained, shaking out his tendrils. "Wasn't that Ryan and Esposito in the hall? What were they being so loud about?"

"It was those two boys Marty Mompson and Paul Asner," Broom informed him. "Ryan saw a couple of people carrying something near they alley where Jimmy Stompton was found, on video, but he couldn't be sure who they were. He and Esposito ran a canvass of the area and there were a couple of witnesses who saw two boys carrying something big and heavy. The sketches made from their descriptions matched Marty and Paul. Ryan and Esposito sent some unis to bring the boys in."

"There was something else," Broomie continued. "When they talked to the friend the boys said they were visiting, Harris Boardman, he claimed he couldn't remember exactly what time they were there."

"Esposito practically shouted the most important thing," Maggie added. "Harris Boardman and Melanie Sondheim live in the same building. "He said there was no way that could be a coincidence."

* * *

"We've been waiting all day to find out what the boys said in here," Mop complained as Boomer finally wheeled the cart into interrogation. I hope Chair was paying attention."

"I heard that!" Chair retorted, "and I always pay attention. If you're referring to Paul and Marty, there was quite a lot to hear. Marty was sitting on me and Paul was on Extra. Ryan started by playing video for them, but they insisted they weren't the people in it. Then Esposito put the sketches the police artists made from witnesses' descriptions in front of them. Marty still didn't admit anything and tried to stop Paul from saying anything, but Paul admitted that he and Marty had been the ones to dump the body but insisted that they hadn't killed Jimmy Stompton. Then Marty stopped him from talking and demanded a lawyer. After that Paul demanded a lawyer too. Ryan and Esposito had L.T. put them in holding and stayed in here talking for a while."

"So did Ryan and Esposito think the boys did it?" Broom asked.

"No," Chair concluded. "They couldn't find a motive. The boys didn't have anything to do with Jimmy Stompton. But they think the boys are covering for someone."

"Marlie Sondheim?" Broom wondered.

"Not her either," Chair replied. "They talked about rechecking her alibi. She really did visit her mother on Long Island. She was on the video at the train stations and there were a lot of tweets from soap fans who saw her. She couldn't have done it. Her building was the last place Stompton was seen though. One of the neighbors gave an account to a uni. Ryan and Esposito were going to ask Kate to get permission from Marlie to have CSU go over the place."

* * *

"So what did you hear?" Broom demanded as Maggie was brought back from the break room.

"Ryan was telling Esposito he didn't have to go through a whole box of doughnuts just because he was pissed off." Maggie flicked her head. "My cloth was full of that white stuff. Esposito had some on his shirt too."

"What was Esposito mad about?" Broomie asked.

"Espresso told me Esposito was upset that Marlie Sondheim had refused to let CSU into her apartment and told Kate if she had any more questions to call her lawyer. He and Ryan tried to get a warrant but couldn't get one since it was clear Marlie hadn't committed the crime and Stompton hadn't actually been seen at her apartment. They said they were going to put surveillance on the building while they tried to find how Marty Mompton and Paul Asner are connected with Marlie Sondheim, and how Harris Boardman figures into it. They also thought they'd have Rick talk to Martha about Marlie and see if he came up with one of his theories."

* * *

"What was Rick using you to clean up?" Maggie asked as Castle stuck Broom and Pan back in the closet.

"Coffee beans," Broom reported. "Espresso said Rick brought them in and was grinding some, but he turned around to talk to Kate and knocked the bag off the counter."

Mop's tendrils twirled in sudden interest. "What were they talking about?"

"Rick was asking Martha about Marlie. Martha told him that Marlie was really proud of her daughter. She told her that Sarah had gotten into the Bronx High School of Science and had also passed the Mensa test. Marlie thought it was kind of nice that her daughter was really enjoying hanging out with a bunch of brilliant nerdy boys. She said Sarah was really happy. So Rick decided to check on Marty Mompton, Paul Asner, and Harris Boardman. Marty and Paul go to school with Sarah. Harris goes to a private school but they're all members of Mensa. He said it's like they have a little nerd gang with Sarah as the only girl. He's sure that the whole case centers on Sarah. He thought it might be a good idea for Kate to talk to her."

"What did Kate think of that?" Maggie asked.

"She agreed that Sarah might be at the center of the case, but she thought from the way Marlie had acted about the search of her apartment, she would probably use her lawyer to keep them from talking to Sarah. She suggested talking to Harris Boardman about Sarah. She thought that since he lived in Marlie's building, he might see a lot more of Sarah and he was the only one who hadn't asked for a lawyer. She said she was going to send some unis to get him and she'd talk to him herself. Rick told her he wanted to watch that from observation and she said that would be okay."

* * *

Mop splayed his tendrils unhappily. "That was a disappointment. I thought when Rick and Kate came back here, they were going to celebrate cracking the case. Instead he just held her while she talked about it."

"She was pretty upset," Broomie noted.

"It's not like that story was anything to celebrate," Maggie pointed out. "Sarah was with Harris and Marty and Paul at Harris' apartment. She went to Marlie's place to get some snacks she left there, but when she let herself in, she found Jimmy Stompton. He pinned her against the counter in the kitchen and tried to rape her, so she grabbed a kitchen knife and stabbed him with it. Sarah didn't know what to do. She was afraid the police wouldn't believe her, so went to get help from her friends. Harris and Marty and Paul wrapped up Jimmy's body and Paul and Marty took it to the alley to dump it. Since they didn't live in the building, they thought even if they were seen, there'd be no way to connect them to Jimmy. They were almost right about that."

"There is an upside," Broom pointed out. "Kate did say that since Sarah killed Stompton in self defense, and that she and the boys were all minors, she didn't think too much would happen to Sarah or to the boys for trying to cover up what Sarah did. She thought Sarah must have told Marlie what happened. That's why Marlie refused to let CSU into the apartment. She was afraid they'd find some evidence. But since there's no proof of that, Kate thinks the D.A. will let it drop. She's going to suggest that the D.A. mandate counseling for Sarah though."

"What's counseling?" Maggie asked.

"It's when someone talks to you about hard things, to help you get through your problems," Broom explained.

"Sounds good," Maggie mused. "I think sometimes we could all use some of that."

Mop twined his tendrils. "Yeah, especially if it's Brush talking about Rick having a hard thing in the loft."

Broom flopped down, burying himself in the recess of Pan. "O Master Cleaner, just make him stop!"

A/N Dear Readers: over the two months that I've been documenting the escapades of the denizens of the Janitor's Closet, I've had to come up with more than two season's worth of Castle plots. The water level in the well of ideas is falling fast. I'd also like to write in the voices of the regular Castle characters for a while. Sooo..., I'll be closing the closet door, at least for now. You never know when the Twelfth will need a good cleaning again. Tomorrow will bring a new AU. Morgan Lockerby's bite from _Vampire Weekend_ causes more than just a little bleeding on Castle's neck. The new story will be called _A Different Shade of Pale_. I hope you'll enjoy it. Thank you so much for the love for Mop, Broom, and friends. Love, Sally


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